blank'/> The Libe ob Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana: You are whad you ead. An dreenk'...

Thursday, May 21, 2009

You are whad you ead. An dreenk'...

The Wooman wen' oud thees morneen' and when she came bag yos ten meenutes lader she had anorder bag ob Heells Sheet:

She say, Estorbo, I belieb you steell hab some creestals een your bladhair whad are magheen' you' thad maghes me onhappy an starps me frarm sleepeen'.

Oh, I say, tweetcheen' my tail.

She say, So I hab procured por you a bag ob Heells Sheet S/D para the deesolbeen' ob any creetstals you may hab een your bladhair.

Oh, I say. So feed me. Again ( I already had two breakfas' ob Heells Sheet C/D por maintaineen' goo' pH whad my Wooman says ees nard the poin', the poin ees deesolbeen' creestals whad esseest NOW. Dios mio).

Breeng eed arn, I say.

Oh my gard. Two bowls I eegnore. Tasdes como kaka. How low can you go? Thees ees the peets. I dreenk the wadhair she poots weeth them bod lose strength when I ged to the pelleds. Then she say, OK, you had wadhair, now I geeb you dry pelleds, lighe you lighe them...

OK, I say, I'll geeb eed a go. I lighe the soun' they maghe teenkleteenkle een my bowl. They remine me ob the good ole' days ob Heells Lighd. The besd: dayeen, dayoud. I doan' care whad by-prodocts an' cornmeal they hab een them: I lorb them: my for shines; my nose ees enchanted. Keep Ebo. I corm frarm the gotthair an' you know whad we ead there, doan' you?

You theenk maybe there ees a baby bandido arn the roop lighe Hallow een has arn the Mainlan', whad needs pelleds porr creestals...bandiiiiiiiiiiido???? Help?

So now tonighd I hab had two meals ob S/D ordure an' she ees happy. Weemen. An' I taghe the peells fouraday so nice frarm hor an' eben porr while she ees geebeen' them. Doan' as' me why. I'm weird. Day afthair manana the peells weell be feeneesh.

I yam peeing beddhair. I theenk the Heells Treeple Sheet food ees worgheen' already.

All because I deedn't dreenk enorf wadhair.

The Wooman ees tired. She say she stress abou' me. I tell hor thees weeken' ees larng, she mos' sleep. She tell me, Cad?

I say, Wooman?

She say, Eef you pee, I weell sleep, OK?

OK, I say. Eed's a deal.


  1. Let me tell you, Estorbo- there is nothing worse than a bad pee. I'm glad that you're feeling a little better.

    Why don't you do what I do and put your food in your water? I think it's great. Maybe it would work for you.

    Your Wooman needs to sleep.

  2. It's good you are eating food to dissolve the crystals. The human thinks the food is probably supplemented with methionine. The human's first cat took methionine pills for a long time and they helped with his pee problems -- a lot. I think you and the Wooman should cuddle and nap this weekend -- and eat chicken soup ... it's good for stressed souls.

  3. I just discovered Bailey will eat his wet diet food more if I add just a splash of water, and since he does not drink much water I think this is good. I learn from you Estorbo.

    Tomorrow I will leave feeling a little more relieved. (No pun intended.)

  4. I have never owned a cat, sick or otherwise, who would eat Heells Sheet in any form. They saved their special loathing (the fly-out-of-the-catflap-with-ears-flat-and-nostrils-flaring loathing) for the beige mush in a can. You are being a brave chap for eating any of it; no wonder the Wooman loves you. Keep getting better!

    In this house we favour Royal Canin, which means I might have to remortgage the house.....

  5. Errr, where exactly do cockroaches fit in the title of your post?

  6. Blagbor' - the Wooman puts agua een my pelleds. Bod a few weeghs ago she sweetch me to can' food weeth no eghstra agua. B.A.D. idea.

    Ikaika - Si, bod eed tasdes como you know whad. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    ChreesJ - poor Bailey arn a died. He ees Snowshoe cad, yes? Ees lighe my CATtorney...

    Rachel: the Heells Lighd Sheet ees deleecious een pelleds. And the Wooman now has so moch Ebo she can open a store.

    Beence...hmmmm, my faboureet snaghs!

  7. Hola! We are so pleased to know this. And Dinah says that gentlemen cats whose cajones have gone are more likely to have this problem.Rusty says this is only some cats - he is 18 and has no problem!(And no cajones.)
    You keep dreekeen your wardhair, hermano. And we send pee-purrs for you.