blank'/> The Libe ob Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana: Raccoon = 0

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Raccoon = 0

I chased the raccoon away.

Down the fire escabe.

I won.
[Pleease to carnseeder the Poll een the sidebar arn the righd]


  1. I officially protest.

  2. Corm and ged your frien' and taghe heem to Bancouber then!

    Ged him arf my roop!!!

    Who are you anyway, you steenky, seengeen' raccoon??

  3. Senor, i truly hope your woman has made sure your rabies shots are up to date. If not, you must stay in until you have them, otherwise you are in danger of catching a terrible disease from the raccoon....and giving it to your woman, too.

  4. Queeltcad - si, yes, I know. Gracias!

  5. can have a needle to prevent rabies? Do it!
    Our cats stay indoors at night as I do not want them chasing flying foxes (fruit bats) which carry lissa virus. I don't think we can vaccinate cats. And anyway, I am not vaccinated, so I don't want the risk.

  6. MIT - you cannard ged baccination por cads een Aoostralia? Porque?

  7. Oh oh the V (or even B) word. Its not allowed in our household. Not a one of us has had the needle. Well actually the d.a.r.g. accidentally got a needle full of steroids when Her Indoors was slightly off her game (so to speak).Boyoboy was she cross with the 12 year old vet when she discovered that he had not told her the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So we daren't comment on the rabies shot aspect of this drama. Apropos of nada at all aren't racoons sweet the way they eat an egg?

  8. Si, Lennie an' Sollie - bod you doan' hab Rabies arn your islan'. I onnerstan' the health reesk ob baccination - bod whad eef essposure ees sospeghted?

    Whad does your homeopath Meessus theenk abou' thees?

  9. We asked her and she said if you suspect rabies you must do whatever you need to do to counteract it and if the dreaded V.E.T. says its a needle job then so be it. (But you don't suspect it do you hermano? We all hope this is a theoretical debate).

  10. Well, L and Ess, the Wooman eenspeghded me berberbery carefully las' nighd onder brighlighd weeth torch (I feld como un labrad) an' she foun' smallscratch, muy pequeno, arn my shoulder, bod eed deedn' loogh lighe frarm raccoon: also I gard storck een rosebush een the afternoon when the Cable Guy was here. Eed was a busy day. So she theenk, bod she nard 100%, thad the scractch ees frarm rosebush. Eed no barder me. Eed loogh fine today. She wash eed an' deeseenfegh anyway. Bod she tells me Sorry Boy, tomorrow you go to ved for eenjection anyway.

  11. Estimado Don Estorbo...

    As two cats that like to fight each other, (would that make us"Luchadores?") We say that while we enjoy a good fight as much as the next Kitteh, Fighting a Raccoon is not a good idea. They don't fight to chase away. They fight to kill. Get a live trap. Catch the bandito, then have your Woman call the ASPCA. NYC's ASPCA is so good they are on Animal Planet...

    Until then, As your Attorney Cats, we advise you It is not a good choice to go toe to toe with El Bandito.

    Neko & Marzipan, AttorneyCats At Law

  12. dear Don, she loves you very much and this is the best thing for you. Rabies is like mad cow disease -- it attacks the brain and the central nervous system and it is a painful path to inevitable death. We would all miss you terribly if this very bad thing were to happen. (I had a series of rabies shots myself so I can tell you it's not that big a deal.)

    Please also ask the Wooman to be sure to throw out anything the raccoon may have eaten from or licked. If there is rabies, it is transmitted in their saliva.

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Do NOT try to trap the raccoon yourself. That's a job for a professional. It's a wild animal and it might weigh as much as forty pounds. It has nasty teeth and sharp-sharp claws. Please, please, don't try to do this yourself. Please.

    (And "relocating" the animal to a park is only making it someone else's problem. I live across the street from a park where a shockingly wide variety of animals are dumped because "they'll be okay there." They're not.)

    I had a pet raccoon and I don't like to think about Animal Care and Control having to kill one, but my understanding is that it's not mandatory that they do, and they really are the best agency to handle the problem.


  13. My Gard! I hab Lawyers!

    You are keedeens: are you qualeefied? Hab you pass the bar?


    Fighd to keell? I doan' theenk so! Las' nigh he ran away! I am DON Estorbo ob the Rooftarps heear me roar: eeeeeeeeeeeep!

    No. You are righd. We weell cadge heem. The Wooman eensepghed the roop near the fire escabe neghs' door and foun' peanut shells neear
    eed. The bear lighes nots.

    Tonighd we keep our eyes open...

  14. Animal Care and Control is the ASPCA in New York. Call 311 and they can help you. It's likely that the ACC will provide the trap. I'm not sure, but PLEASE let the professionals handle it.

  15. MyCraft

    OK Already! Enorf weeth the please! We weell theenk. Eed was nard a crazy raccoon bod we weell be careful.

    Sigh. Ees so carmpleecaded.

    No domp een park. We were nard reeally serious.

    Hey! Bod theenk ob the Memorial Serbeece you coul' hab por me: I wan' a Cattoleec Cathedral, pleease. Many flowers, cans ob feesh ad the recepcion. Rossini's duet por the two cats...

    Eh-berybardy relaghs, OK?


  16. Neko & Marzipan, CATtorneyCats At LawSeptember 21, 2008 at 5:37 PM

    Estimado Don Estorbo:

    The human we own is but a mere law student, but since we sleep on his law books while he is out, we consider ourselves CATtorneys.

    Perhaps it is best for the ASPCA to do it all. You are too important to the national security of the Terrace to risk your demise over an overgrown rat.

    Our Fees? Just knowing you keep NYC safe for Fish merchants to ship their wares west (so they get to us) is payment enough.

    We had sardines for dinner. Our pet human is nice that way.

  17. Pee Ess:

    311 only worgh eef you say raccoon HAS rabies. So we lie?

  18. CATtorneys: you had SARDINES for deenner?


    Si, we call ASPCA. Maybe they poot os arn TB.

  19. Neko and Marzipan, CattorneysSeptember 21, 2008 at 5:42 PM

    Not a lie. We'd say you should say you saw a racoon acting aggressively, and didn't want to get close enough to see if it was foaming at the mouth...

    N&M, Esq.

  20. Yes, i agree 100 percent with mycroft. Trapping raccoons is a professional's job, not something you want to handle yourself. And if it really is rabid, your wooman should not get anywhere near it. I also agree that "relocating" the raccoon to a park or elsewhere is a very bad idea, because it just becomes someone else's problem...or is in danger of starving to death because it doesn't know where the food resources are in that environment. (Here in Virginia, it's illegal.)

    Raccoons are one of the primary carriers of rabies. On the other hand, the raccoon may be o.k., but they can still be fierce, and are massively equipped with teeth and claws. On the third hand (must be counting on paws), i personally observed in New Haven, CT, our city raccoons, mother and three half-grown kits, peacefully eating out of the same bowl as a cat (i had put fish scraps out for a stray cat, hoping to gain his confidence, and the raccoons came and started eating, too. All four animals ate from the same bowl, at the same time, with no pushing or hissing. I have a feeling they'd been sharing other meals before this.)

  21. Oh Don Estorbo, you want a Catlick Ceremony? (hee hee) Sylvie, Louie, Fuzzy, and Gingy wish to tell you that they are having swordfish for supper that they will graciously share with me...perhaps they can send you some over the internets.

  22. oof, god, bureaucracies.
    The number I have for ACC is 212 788 4000. (They're headquartered at 326 E 110th Street in Manhattan.) It's been a while since I called them, so I'm not sure it's still a 'live' number.

    If necessary, yes, lie to 311. Although how you're supposed to know that it has rabies when only a surgery can determine that is beyond me.

  23. Hola, Estorbo!

    We have many raccoons in our neighborhood (we live near Yosemite National Park). Our human feeds a few feral cats (one of them is a beeg blag cad como tu), and she must bring the food in at night so the raccoons don't come and sit on our porch and look at us through the window and make us all crazy! Raccoons will fight kitties over food. You must have been very macho last night to chase the Brooklyn Bandito away.

    Stay safe out there!

    Su amigo Ikaika

  24. If by chance you are accused of assault & battery of the Raccoon by the Manhattan District Attorney: We have also watched enough episodes of Law and Order to be able to mount a vigorous defense. You will never see Riker's Island--we're that good. :)

    Are there fish in the Hudson or East River? If so, are they fit for consumption?

  25. My god, this is turning into a major debate! 'Storbie, you wise cat, you did this for publicity, didn't you? The raccoon probably never even existed... ;-)

    Now, since we have everybody's attention, maybe we could address another pressing issue while we're at it... p-p-pigeons?


  26. My Croft (she's my friend) is correct.Leave this to the experts-they have insurance!
    You ask about shots in Australia. Well, we have no rabies, though some of our bats have a virus similar to it.There is no cure if you get this virus.You die.Cat, human, it doesn't discriminate.
    I sometimes do rescues for the Wildlife Dept., but I am not supposed to handle bats as I am not vaccinated.
    Storbo, you are one tough hombre to chase any raccoon. Just don't make it a habit, OK? ok!

    Tonight, we have salmon and we will think of you!

  27. Forgh your peegeeons, Beence. I'm sorry I ebber tole' my story.

    Bod: I do now hab Representation!

    Ikaika. GRACIAS por recorgnizeen' whad NOBARDY else deed.

    I Yam Macho!! Yes!

    Queeltcad: swordfeesh! Man, I leab een a domp. I cannard belieb thees. My lawyers ged sardines an' the Beerginian cads ged swordfeesh. Whad do I ged?

    Pelleds. Dayeen, dayoud.

  28. MIT - I deed nard know you wor' frien's, bod she has a goo' lookeen' cad, Halloween. Who has been berbery silend abou' thees.

    Pee Ess:

    Gracias to eberybardy por their adbice. I feel so lorfed. Sneeff. Bod doan' worree, the Wooman may looghe kine' ob slow, bod she know these theen's too. Me, arn order paw, I yam a cad, so I need your eenpoot.


    Oops, sorry. I yam esshausted. So many Carments.

  29. dude, i figure you got enough folks yammerin' at ya about this.
    just keep your wooman clear of the fuzzballs. cuz if she dies, who'll feed you?


  30. The peegeeons weell feed me, como Elijah!