blank'/> The Libe ob Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana: The Beeg Blag Ved

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Beeg Blag Ved

Today the Wooman came home an' then I hord The Soun'. Before I coul' deesappear she had the Onattracteeb Grey Barx arn the floor an'was pointeen' me ad eed. Lighe a fool I wen' een'. I doan' know why I go een. Then she slam' eed short!

Always ees' lighe thees.

Then she walgh down the stairs, and down the streed an' roun' the cornhair, bomp, bomp, bomp, and I yam sayeen' Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? The Bandido Raccoon deed nard bide me, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? She say, Bairder safe, Storbie, than sari.

Ugh! I said. Bomp, bomp, bomp.

Then I go quied. I can smell the ved.

An' I smell sormetheen' else.... a....d.a.r.g.

A darg whad has pooped een eed's pands arn the floor. Sheet. An' I mean eed. Thad darg. Man. Foooeee!

Dargs: eberbardy togethair now: "WHO. NEEDS. THEM???"

Room Nomber Two.


I waid por Dr Maddox, the beeg blag ved. Hees helper taghes me oud by the scroff ob my negh.

Wow. Says the ved.

Wow ees righd, I theenk. Tremble before the form ob DON Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana!

Thad ees a beeg, blag cad, say the ved.

You can talk, I theenk.

The res', eed goes fas', an' I doan hab time to keell anybardy.

Eenjection for Mad Bandido disease een the bagside. Ow! Ay!

My ears cleaned. Ees thees a spa???

He torn me orpside down an' stroghe my tommy!

I wan' to go HOME! NOW!

Led's weigh heem, he say. He weigh 20 lbs say the Wooman. I wan' to weigh heem on MY scale says the gran' ved.

20 lbs.

Tole' you so, say' the Wooman.

He looghs ber' good, say the ved. Thees weel nebber be a small cad.


We wen' home.

Tonighd? I fine' thad rad weeth a fancy tail an' faze an' I corm bag weeth a nice had.


  1. 20 POUNDS!!! and I thought Luritja was horribly fat at 21! wow.

  2. Way to go 'Storbie! You show them! You're one brave (big)(black)(20 lbs) cat! I am, however, a little worried about the content of some of your pictures... If those 2 British monkeys were here, they would want to throw that stuff at the vet... ;-)

  3. Estimado Don Estorbo:

    We would submit that room "Number Two" was the first one you entered, considering the DargPile on the floor.

    Associate Neko is but a mere 14 pounds. Associate Marzipan is a featherweight 7.

    Perhaps you can just say you weigh 9 kilos? It's a smaller number...

    We have asked the Cat of the Manhattan District Attorney to petition a CatJudge to issue a warrant to El Banditio Malo's arrest. Just need your ok to make it final.

  4. i had a frend who would say form i dabla which i think may be french for big boned. never could quite follow all she was saying.

    the wooman must be pretty form i dabla too even tho her pictur makes her look like what Mine's gran would call a little slip of a thing


  5. When you get your hat, will you become the beeg blag Daby Croghett??
    This I've got to see. Estorbo, you hab the vunnyeest blog! You brighten my day. Don't ever stop. (But as a pastor's wife, I have to close my eyes at the four letter words -- tho' in your language they're more than four letters! and I don't want to tangle wid Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana.)

  6. Seegreed: I hab larng legs. sormetheen has to keeb them all apart an thad ees 20lbs.

    Beence: Marnkeys arn worn steb below d.a.r.g.s. Worn ees "ronneen" the country, eef you hadn' notice'...Hey, eed ees fotohournaleesm! Eed was there! We toogh a peecture! Eed happens to re-eenporce a prejudeece we hab, bod so whad?

    Cassociates:You' berbery fonny. An' eed was een recepcion.

    Hallow een: the Wooman ees Giganteec.

    ChreesJ: Madre de Dios. Sh...I mean....oops. Hey! I grew orp rough! You shodul hab hord me two years ago. I try. I try. Bod ees so esspressive!!!!

  7. some reception. oof.


  8. We relate to all this Hermano we relate. When we went to have our pockets picked when we were itty bitty little kittens of ONLY 6 months we BOTH fitted in a horrid beige box like yours. The smell of the vet is unfortunately ingrained on our collective memory but luckily now we (being big boned like you) can't fit in the beige box singly or together so we don't go to the vet. We send you virtual fish to feed the little grey cells for you to obliterate this memory or to feed your BMI so you can't fit in your unnatractive grey box.

  9. L and Ess

    You theenk H-h-huwi an' Trebor weel ebber wride again?

    I yam workeen' arn nard feedeen' eento thad barx, trost me!

  10. Estorbie don't worry Hhhuwi and Trebor are offline while their Woman is in the Karoo learning something called Permaculture. We asked ours what this is and if it has anything to do with curling hair. She is so curled up with laughter she hasn't been able to answer us coherently. But those are the facts. They will be