You will fine' thees een eeds orreegeenal carnteghds here:
There’s a Cat in My Soup
Q. One of my best friends owns a cat that has complete run of her house. She allows it to walk on her kitchen counters and stove. The cat jumps onto the dining table during meals.
My friend thinks this is cute. I’m appalled — ever mindful that cats lick themselves to distraction, and are in and out of their litter boxes all day. Am I being too picky, or do I have a right to insist that my food be prepared and eaten in a more hygienic environment?
Anonymous, the Bronx
A. Your friend has some nerve! Shopping and cooking and serving you meals — all in plain sight of Puss ’n Boots! Obviously, mealtime at the kitty castle sounds downright disgusting. But be careful. In my experience, people’s pets are often bona fide members of the family.
Since your friend clearly finds her cat’s behavior adorable, I’d just grin like the Cheshire variety and keep your mouth shut — unless you’d also be apt to tell her that her husband is ugly or her daughter dimwitted. Better to avoid meals at her place, and invite her to yours or out to restaurants. As for the added costs, just think of the money you’ll save on dry cleaning — now that you won’t be covered in cat hair every time you see her.
Don Es. Whad do my cad frien's theenk?
Por the record. I yam nard allowed arn the counthair. I am allowed arn the table eef there ees no food there. Bod see the answer: "Een my essperience, people's peds are often bona fide membhairs ob the familia..."
Como, hello? Thees writehair has no cad. Nard eben a darg.
What abou' walkeen' ou'side arn the sidewalks where the dargs make kaka? Onless you taghe arf your shoes when you are home , your floor ees fool ob dargkaka.
Ob course we leeck ourselbes. Por thees reason we do nard smell. Lighe d.a.r.g.s.
We are nard "een an' oud" ob our leeder barxes. We go een. We do whad we need to do. We corm oud. We doan' need nobardy to peeck opr op a steameen' orp por os an' throw eed een the neighbor's trashcan.