blank'/> The Libe ob Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana: The reeal NYTimes

Friday, November 14, 2008

The reeal NYTimes

You will fine' thees een eeds orreegeenal carnteghds here:

There’s a Cat in My Soup

Q. One of my best friends owns a cat that has complete run of her house. She allows it to walk on her kitchen counters and stove. The cat jumps onto the dining table during meals.
My friend thinks this is cute. I’m appalled — ever mindful that cats lick themselves to distraction, and are in and out of their litter boxes all day. Am I being too picky, or do I have a right to insist that my food be prepared and eaten in a more hygienic environment?


Anonymous, the Bronx

A. Your friend has some nerve! Shopping and cooking and serving you meals — all in plain sight of Puss ’n Boots! Obviously, mealtime at the kitty castle sounds downright disgusting. But be careful. In my experience, people’s pets are often bona fide members of the family.
Since your friend clearly finds her cat’s behavior adorable, I’d just grin like the Cheshire variety and keep your mouth shut — unless you’d also be apt to tell her that her husband is ugly or her daughter dimwitted. Better to avoid meals at her place, and invite her to yours or out to restaurants. As for the added costs, just think of the money you’ll save on dry cleaning — now that you won’t be covered in cat hair every time you see her.


Don Es. Whad do my cad frien's theenk?

Por the record. I yam nard allowed arn the counthair. I am allowed arn the table eef there ees no food there. Bod see the answer: "Een my essperience, people's peds are often bona fide membhairs ob the familia..."

Como, hello? Thees writehair has no cad. Nard eben a darg.

What abou' walkeen' ou'side arn the sidewalks where the dargs make kaka? Onless you taghe arf your shoes when you are home , your floor ees fool ob dargkaka.

Ob course we leeck ourselbes. Por thees reason we do nard smell. Lighe d.a.r.g.s.

We are nard "een an' oud" ob our leeder barxes. We go een. We do whad we need to do. We corm oud. We doan' need nobardy to peeck opr op a steameen' orp por os an' throw eed een the neighbor's trashcan.

Dios mio.

11 comments:

  1. broder! we are also not allowed on the counters or the table, especially if there is food (it is never, sigh, feesh) AND we are discreet about our habits, unlike d.a.r.g.s.! Licking keeps us clean and smelling like warm toast, yes??

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  2. the part about tossing it in the neighbour's trash can really gets me.
    It took me weeks to track down the d.a.r.g. owner who was doing that to mine in the hot summer and making it reek..... I saved several bags of it...went to her house and threw it on her windows, door and porch...some of it even stuck....it worked. At least she quit throwing it in my can. However,I do wish we could own guns here....I would have cheerfully taken some shots at her as she was leaving her deposit on my property....

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  3. rusty,geiger and sporranNovember 14, 2008 at 1:55 PM

    Best friend? Really? If the cat bothers her so much she should not visit.We know children with worse habits!

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  4. Bailey is 'way too polite to jump up on counters and furniture --thank goodness. I didn't have to teach him this, he brought his manners with him. People food is not for him either, even if I offer it to him. He does jump up on my knee but sits with his back to me. I like to think he is protecting me from what ever might be coming our way! I just have to show him his grooming brush and up he comes. Lest you think he has no bad habits: he does not scratch furniture nor scratching post, but loves to scratch the carpet like a motor revving up. We are training him to scratch on an extra piece of carpet which I have put in the den -- (or what is really Bailey's room). The other bad habit he has is one we'd rather not talk about because it involves 'payback' for when we left him with a cat-sitter. Let's just say he decided our expensive brand new carpeting was better than the litter box for a few days while we were away. Still haven't found an effective remedy for the tell-tale odor.It won't be more new carpet, that's for sure.
    Estorbo, I'm sure you would never do that to your wooman.

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  5. T an H-h-h-! You steell hab your Wooman weeth you - ees gread! Warm toast, si!

    BB...eh...OK. I theenk we hab some issues weeth the Secon' Amendment an Gon Control, bod the CATtorneys woul' be able to adbise you.

    RGS - si, bes' frien'? You TELL hor you doan' sneakasneaka behine' hor bag!

    ChreesJ: Bailey ees ber' polide. Me I doan' yomp ebber arn the Wooman's lab, bod eef she poots me there I say an' porr. Eeef she ees eadeen' hor food an' eed smells deleecious I maghe tappatappa weeth my paw, noclaws, arn hor arms an' say polide weeth my head arn worn side, some por me?

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  6. Lenniean'sollie here: Compadres we are with you on this. We are not allowed on the counters (but we jump up anyway to get away from the d.a.r.g.); we are not allowed on the table ever. Never ever. Never. (But we do when You-Know-Who hasn't a clue and can't stop us). The d.a.r.g. wants a word:

    I lick myself clean too because I copy everything lenniean'sollie do (or try to)and my kaka stays out of neighbours bins and goes over the fence into the nettles. x

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  7. Hermano,

    Where do I begin with this one?? Of course we are family ... sheesh! And we are allowed pretty much anywhere except on the counters and on the keyboards.

    And as for the "best friend" thing, like the human says, "Love me, love my cats." And as far as our licking ouselves goes, what does she expect .. we're cats, and like somecats already said, kids can have some TRULY disgusting habits. And doesn't this writer know that cats can actually make kids more healthy -- verdad! There are studies that find that kids who grew up with pets have stronger immune systems than those who didn't.

    The human used to get r-e-a-l-l-y upset, too, when she lived in the city and d*gs used to make kaka in the yard, but now that we live in the country, she doesn't worry so much about d*g poop anymore ... now she looks out for bear poop!

    Ikaika

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  8. Wow, that a cat could have complete run of someone's house is beyond me...

    Cats are so... Gentle. (Ouch, my finger!) So quiet. (Shut up kitty, it's only 4:00 am!) So low maintenance. (Would you like to come in, kitty? Would you like to go out, kitty? Would you like to come back in, kitty? Would you like to go back out, kitty?) So subtle. (Was that a police siren I heard in the background? No, it was the kitty pointing out the emptiness of his food bowl.) So...

    ok, yeah, I'll stop now... ;-)

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  9. Hi Estorbo. We're not allowed on the counters nor on the table, but her table is so covered with stuff, there's no room for one of us there anyhow. The whole rest of the house belongs to us. Obviously this person doesn't understand a thing about cats...we lick ourselves, so we're clean. We clean our feet, too! That so-called best friend should just not bother to visit.
    quiltcat's cats

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  11. I love to get on tables and the piano, but they yell at me. I'm allowed on desks, though. I get yelled at if i lick my places or push things off though. Or if I start nomming on things I shouldn't. Like hiliters. Hmmm...
    ~Henry~

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