blank'/> The Libe ob Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana: Feesh no mas

Friday, November 28, 2008

Feesh no mas

Weetneess: the las' sardines I weel ebber ead, EBBER, oud ob a can slash teen.

The Wooma said BEEG TREAD, Estorbo, you're geddeen' sardines een arleeb oil to help your digestion whad ees a leedle...slow.

Yom! I said.

I tasde. I leeck the oil. I ead halb the feesh. I stare ad eed. I walgh aroun' the plade whad Ambrose, my deear deparded frien' sen' to me. I stare. I sigh.

I star' to corber orp the plade weeth imaginary san': scrape, scrape, scrape. Eef my enemies smell thees they weel fine' me. I mos' hide eed.

Scrape, scrape. I torn my bag arn eed an' walgh away, deegneefy'.

Estorbo? Que paso? she says. Those wor eemported Portuguese sardines!?

YOU ead them, I soyyest. She deed. Frarm the can nard my plade, whad was buried onder the sand.

They tasted fine' she say.

Whad. Ebber. I say.

Those sardines can keess my tail, I say.

Estorbo, you're weird, she says.

You can talgh, I say. Who's talkeen' to themselbes?

Woul' you lighe sorm pelleds, she as'.

WOUL' I LIGHE SORM PELLEDS?

Breeng them arn, I shout!

Teenkleteenkleteenkle eento my deesh whad deeardedepartedAmbrose sen' me. She adds water, como siempre, por my keedneys.

I dance arn my hine'legs.

She puts eed down.

I ead. I dreenk! Thees ees Paradise.

Dayeen.

Dayoud.

6 comments:

  1. 'Storbie, something about all this is... fishy. How could a big black cat not like fish???

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. sowns ta me like the portugeese feesh mita put ya in mind of why ya had to leev lisbon -- which ya menshunned breefly in a prrveeus post. [i doan meen ta pry, sum things is betrr left unsed, i just thot the wooman'd be mor sensitiv to ya feelins.]

    i brry food when it remines me of the stuff in that othrr place whrr i dig an brry my stuff. . .

    ~^:^~

    ReplyDelete
  4. rusty, geiger and sporranNovember 29, 2008 at 2:08 AM

    Hermano! We hope you do not have kidney problems? Go easy on the c.r.e.a.m, OK? Drink water.
    (Today She bought us some catnip;the label says it is "recreational drugs for cats who have been there-done that." She says we will turn into hippies.)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Beence: - I do lighe feesh. Fresh feesh.

    Hallow een: I hab no recollection.

    None.

    Nada.

    RGS: I use' to hab ceestisees regular. Many treep to ved. Terreeble, terreeble. Then the Wooman started the theenk. Then she poot moch water een my pellets so I hab to go bobbeen' por the pelleds, and dreenk the water. No more ceestisees por three years now.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Estorbo, hermano, i think i would have eaten those canned fish, but i like fresh fish better, too. Your Wooman is so smart to add water to your pellets...i have had terrible urinary tract problems including two urinary tract blockages that almost killed me. And then i had to have surgery that i'd rather not talk about. I still get crystals in my urine...which the v.e.t. says wouldn't happen as often if i only ate my pellets instead of munching in all the other cats' food.

    ReplyDelete