blank'/> The Libe ob Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana: Das Poot

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Das Poot

I yam told than poot means paw een Afrikaans. When the Wooman speaghs Afrikaans eed sounds lighe people fighdeen'.

I yam so seeck of my red coad an' the orange short, I decide to pose' a peecture ob the beesneess en' ob my naked paw. I yam greepeen the table.

As my frien' and 'neep sopplier, Heem, woul' say: Hab you ebber really looghed ad your paw?

Tonighd the Wooman says to me, Estorbo?

I say, Wooman?

She say - Tonighd I med the Head ob the Cad Appreciation Society.

That's nice, I say: Show em the han' shaghe.

Whad han' shaghe? she says, eerreetable.

THE han' shaghe, I repead, polideboice.

There's no han' shaghe , you stupeed cad.

Thad's whad you theenk, I say. An' I know I yam blag bod you loogh como a part righ' now.

...

Hello? Wooman?

Eed's your aghsen', Estorbo. Sormtime' I fine' you har' to follow.

Tell me abou' deed, I say.

I yos deed, she say.

Gard. I roll my ojos.

Well, she says, to ged bag to the poin'...

You had a poin'? I ask...

Cad? She say - you wan' pelleds een the morneen' or nard, because I yam pearfectly capable ob depribeen' you ob sostenants!

Sure, I say, bod the Smoothman weell feed me.

Whadebber, she say. Can I feeneesh???

Por fabor, I say, I weesh you woul'. I need to wash my feed.

...I forgard whad I was goeen' to say.

Teepeecal. I doan' sorpose I cou' hab breakfas' now?

No. Eed's 1 am, Estorbo.

I yos thoughd I woul' as'. So, you goeen' to bed?

Yes, she say. Afthair I shower. You wan' to sleeb arn the bed?

I mighd...

I'll see you there, then.

Nard eef I see you for's...

Geeb eed orp, cad! Why mos' you always be so orbstrocteeb?

Hello? My name ees Estorbo? You change eed frarm Meednigh' por a reason?

I know, she says, the constan' carmbad ees yos exhausteen'.

So feed me.

No.

Thees coul' go arn all nigh'.

Fine. I'm goeen' to bed.

Fine.

Fine.

Whadebber.

Fine.

See you there.

OK.

10 comments:

  1. Wioud de aghsen' thees cou' be me an' Dinah...ebry nigh'.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ignore my sister. Go and read about poor Scooter.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's a very fine paw with a very fine claw. Looks like you could do some damage with that. Why's she going to bed at midnight? I thought I was the eccentric one. I go AFTER midnight and get up LATE the next morning. Suits me just fine. Suited Bailey too. He liked to play at night. He was so mellow that I could clip his claws with very little trouble. He lived only indoors so didn't have the chance to develop the toughness you have and he didn't need his claws the same. I only clipped off the sharp tips so that they didn't catch in the carpet as he walked. Speaking of carpet. The memory lingers on, so to speak, especially on damp, warm evenings. Don't ever do that to her, Hermano. It could mean ber, ber, bad trouble

    ReplyDelete
  4. Humans - so quarrelsome! I see that your beautiful paw is gripping the table with some dinner plates on it?? A meaningful grip, then.....

    ReplyDelete
  5. There is a campaign among some cat bloggers to post pictures of a "paw bump", so I google-translated that into Afrikaans and it suggested "klou stamp". Perhaps that is the han' shagh you refer to. I like the sound of it. So here's a klou stamp to you, Estorbo!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Insert that claw into a nostril...much more persuasive.

    ReplyDelete
  7. A very fine paw that certainly means business! That's quite an exchange you had with the Wooman last night ... keeps life interesting, no?

    Speaking of claws, Keli'i threatened to clip mine after I did happy feet on her chest last night. Needless to say, I'm keeping a very low profile today.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ahora thad ees mor' lighe eet.
    Eet soun' lighe you hab jour mojo back. You are fool ob pees an' veeneegar aghain! All ees righd weeth de worl'...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Don Estorbo ees greeeat. Minino estupendo.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hab pidee and do nod blame 'de wooman, Don Estorbo. 'Umanz are stoopid, and we muz feel sorry for 'dem 'dat 'dey are not cads.

    ReplyDelete