Essplanation

Noo Year ees too moch pressure, man. Eberyone say you mos' make-a pardy. Parp champagne cork. Throw streamers.

Porque? Why? Essplain to me!

Ees one sorounded by one's lobeen' friends an family?

No!

Does one hab feesh?

No!

Deed anyone pool streeng?

No!

Ees there a friendly poossee to hang oud weeth?

Nard one!

Eenstead, the Yooman who ees suppose' to lorf you, an who hole's you when she need to coddle sometheen' sarft an' forry, an' who says Thank Gard por you Estorbo...she goes AWAY. She leabs. Depar's. Deesappears. An' stays there!!!

Does she send teecket?

No.

Does she mail feesh?

No.

Does she leab Chreestmas presen' por me to tear open weeth expectand claws arn Chreestmas Day.......?

No.

No. No. No.

Sheet.

I know she weell carm bag. She always does. Bod I yam telleen' you: NEBBER again. NEBBER. Read my leeps. The neghs' time she go, I go too. I am nard the cad who walked by heemself. I walk weeth someone. I lighe company. I yam Latin, man. Nard forgheen blordee Anglo-self -sofficient-Saxon...I need libe, company, action!

...and FEESH.

I cannard waid to see thad Canadian again. He knows how to tread a man.

Happy Forgheen' Noo Year

Life sorks, Man. Beegtime.

What Cads are Sayeen'

Thees is me Estorbo frarm the Charbocks arn Courd Streed. I ordered a corp ob steamed meelk weeth notmeg an' am borroween' a labtarp. I had to loogh cude an' say Miaow? The wooman toogh hor labtarp to South Afreeca weeth hor so I yam depribed ob my only form ob communication weeth the world. My heets arn my blarg are goin' to go to sheed... Thanghs a lard.

Anyway, Beence, who ees a Hombre, has been more considerade an eben drew thees pathedeec' attemb ad displayeen' hees knowledge ob cads. Does he theenk he is fonny? Feesh? Dude, hab you been readeen' my blarg??? Do you KNOW the extend ob my bocabulary?

Si. I know he ees actuallee tryeen' to maghe the Wooman laugh. Ad my expense. Yos remember Boddee: I may hab the power een the future to maghe your libe oncomfortable, because you weel be storck weeth me.

Ok, The truth? Beence ees a preeedy good guy. Preedy good size, too. Lighe me. And he broughd me feesh. An' poolled streeng. An' made a Netflix rad por me.

Confession: I meess the Yoomans!

efrican cet

this is me kehdi i am a bleck footed efrican cet dont lissen to my brutha he says we are asian tabbies i am not he might be dussent mattu what our papiss say i did not go to school i cant type ok and no punctuashun neitha i hate dogs especially small corgidogs that give me palpitashins and make me go to the vet

don estorbo told us we can blog here so we will but i dont know what to say he is a bit full of himself to have a whole blog but he is a new yorka and we hear they are noisy peeple i mean cats so i will be noisy too even tho i am small

the end

While Estorbo is deprived of a keyboard...

...the Wooman and Faraway Cats have been permitted to Guest Post:

Kudos to Estorbito's friend Tomcat at workingclasscats.com. Read the NYTimes article (about deli cats who fight the rat scourge) that lists his blog.

other cets

my name is andre khamel. i was named after a french opposition attorni who worked on a case against my boss. my boss won. i live in constantia with my sista kehdi and white spook and wellington the maine coone (also known as that cat), with two small corgidogs and ben the big bleck barker. i am a heppi cet with no worries. my sista kehdi has worries. even though she is an asian tabbie like me she says she is a bleck footed efrican cet. she is jealous of the smalldogs who are new and cute. the boss and the big missus love the smalldogs. i love everybody. i am a noworri cet. i have a terrible voice that sounds like vultures.

i love prawns, man. i love them. here is the big missus letting me lick her prawn fingers. then i got two tails that i crunched up. yes, i sit on the table sometimes. you don't like it find another blog. estorbo says i can say anything here. actualli i am a polite cat and a pacifist. i am sorry if you don't like it.

but i will do it again.

Happee Chreestmas

The Wooman is leabeen' me. Por a larng time. Paulo weel loogh after me. I lighe heem. Bod I weel be lonely.

One day the Wooman an' Beence an' me weel be a nu-cuclear familee.

(I hope Meester Boosh choghes arn a pretzel. Maybe thees time they weel nard be so qeeck weeth the Hindleeck Manoeuvre)