Night ees cormen'

My peecture from the CadCam las' ebeneen'...

The Wooman nearly broghe eed. Beence feexed eed.

My weegh

Fors', I resded...Beence made me berbery tired. So moch adbenture. So moch attention. So moch storf to carry aroun' my negh...He toogh thees peecture because the Wooman tole' heem I loogh como a beeg, blagh torkey. He deed nard agree. He tole' hor thad a cad my size shoul' ead more then a teeny carfee corp ob pelleds ebery day.

Cleeck. You're arn CadCam...

I mos' exercise!

I yam a panther. Een a zoo. When's deenner?

Eh...are you goeen' to ead thad?

Welcarm to my worl'...

At las', I yab been geeben a boice: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

No, nard thad one. Thad one deesappeared weeth my cojones.

Thees one. The libe behine' the lens. Pleease, loogh ad whad an eye I yab.

Below: Keetchen steel libe frarm behine' an orange basket.



Holy Sheet. Thees man ees beeg. Doan' heet me!!!!!!!!

Arn assignmend

Beence sent to me, an' we onpaghed thees weekend, my Meester Lee Catcam! Eed's cool.

Fors', I had to train weeth a collar. Easy. Beence boughd for me especal snabcollar so I no choghe to death. Eed had a bell. I wanted to keell the bell. So they keelled eed for me. How the forgh do you hont carckroaches weeth a bell goeen' teenkleteenkle heeeere carms Estorbo to keell you?????



Me weareen' my new camera. Eed ees arna timer, so I can taghe action peecs all the time. Waid teell you see how excideen' my life reeally ees.

Waideen' for the meelion dollar shart...

I can dance

1. The roas' cheecken dance.

2. The pellet dance.

3. The meelk dance.

Har' day ad the orifice

OK, I say to hor, Eed's time to pay the beells. No, really, I'm nard keedeen', I hab been loogheeen' ad them, an' you shoul' pay. Yes, I open' them! Eed's nard my beesnees to open the beells? Whyporque? I leeb here. I wan' to make sure they doan' sweetch arf the gas. I need warm meelk een the morneen'. I'm nard kiddeen'. Pay the beells.

Ok: I'll be cute. Pay. The. Beells. There are only four. Pay them. How do I know there are four?? I counted them! I cannard count? Are you keedeen' me? I ged 47 pelleds ebery day for deenner! I yam deelusional? Maybe, bod nard abou' pelleds. Speakeen' ob delusions:escuse me?? Hello? Who ees speakeen'? No, I'm serious. Who ees speakeen'. Who ees reeally speakeen'? Nard me! I yam a cad. I cannard speak! I yam een your head! You are talkeen' to yourself.

Are you talkeen' to me?

Corm closer. I need to tell you sormtheen': you made. me. orp. Yes. I doan' esseest. Why yam I arn the bed eef doan' esseest?

......

Sheet.

You mean I do esseest? Ok. So, are you goeen' to pay the beells?

When you are feeneesh', weell you read me a story? I doan' lighe stories? How do you know? - because you own me? OWN ME?! You do nard OWN me. I stay here because...because...becausethereeesabagobpelledsondertheseenk!!!

News Two

Ees berbery sad. We read the deleecious food blarg, Las' Nighd's Deenner, and Meess Hen has larst hor belorbed cad...so we sen' our lorf an' cad soppor' to hor. We are ber' sorry.