Hard libe

Oh, good. Brake fas'!

I lorb bodhair you know? Yesserday when the Wooman was nard lookeen' I ade ALL the bodhair frarm the tray. Today she shoud ad me, BADCAD!

Who, me? Bad? You mos' be keedeen'!

Are you goeen' to ead thad?

So the bodes por the morg shart: Sorry por the poll bein' so forgheen illegeeble een the sidebar...Bod eed's a DRAW! Between Whad the Forgue (spreadlegs een the greenshort) and Talkgh to the Paw. So we mos' choose worn more time, y the Wooman say I should geeb a few more choices, also. I say, why? She say, Because I pay the cable beel.

Whadebber.

Manana, manana.

Pleease bode por a morg shart.

 

1. Whad the forgue?

Pleease bode een the poll arn the lefd por whad peecture you wan' arn a morg...

The captions are sobyeghd to change. We decide ladehair. Also, eef you lighe a peecture frarm the blarg, please tell me wheech posed eed was, y whad dade, OK? OK!

 2. Born een the Yoo Esse Ay.

 

 3. Go. Away.

 

 4. I lorb you.

 

5. Keess me.

 

6. Sheet.

 

7. Don Estorbo.

 

8. Talgh to the paw.

 

 9. Th.

 

10. The Paw.

 

 11. Waghe orp!

12. The Don

 

13. The keeng ob cads.

WAR

 You though' I was dead, deedn' you?

You thoughd I yad abandon' my thousan's y thousan's ob adoreen' fans, Yes? Admeed eed, yes? Yes? I mean, Si?

Nebber!

Nebber woul' Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana (eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!) leab those who lorb y appreciade heem! Nebber! Only eef he was prebendted by some crazylocogaga WOOMAN woul' he be kepd frarm blargeen por ELEBEN days!!!!!

I mean, Whad the forgue??

No. I do nard essagerade.

Crazy.

Loco.

Nard all ob hor peegs are een their sty, eef you know whad I mean? Yes? Yes? I mean, Si?

Two peegs shord ob a peecneec eef you as' me.

 She ees weareen' camouflage. I keed you nard.  She say she need to "blen' een."

I say, Oh yes, I mean si, thad ees easy, you are seex food weeeth red hair, you TODALLY blen' een.

Blen' eento whad, anyway? I as'.

The fores', she wheesper.

The fores'??? I wheesphair bag...

Yes, she say, I yam ad war.

I know! I say, weeth me!

No you stupeed hairball. Weeth the leederhairs.

....

Que? I say. Thees ees deefeecol' por me to onnerstan' - hor aghsen' ees nard so easy. Leeder hairs. Hairs. Hares. Fores'. Leeder...hares?

Hares = Rabbeeds? Rabbeeds + Leeder.

YOU MEAN THERE ARE RABBEEDS EEN MY LEEDHAIR TRAY???? I knew eed looghed fonny! An' you are magheen' war arn the rabbeeds weeth my taghs dollars? Why deed you nard tell me?

No, you moron, she say. Leederhairs! Persons whad throw garbage arn the groun' een the fores'.

Oh, I say, you mean d.a.r.g.s.

NO! Yooooooooomans, she say.

Peegs! I say.
 
Peegs, she say.

...

Ees esshausteen.

Oud een the cole'

I yam oud een the cole'. I need the Wooman to help me weeth merchandiseen' an she say she weell, bod only eef I coogh hor deenhair.

Whad the forgue???

I doan' know how to coogh!

Why I need hor? Because I cannard use Phodosharp an' I theenk I need these eef I yam goeen' to maghe a forgheen' calendar or morgs por sale. The Woomans say morgs ees a good idea. She no use morgs She use corps. Bod whadebber.

So whad can I coogh? I can reach the gas bod I doan' know whad to do when I ged there. Fry pelleds?

Sheet.

Soon I weell pose' sorm peecture por chooseen' whad to pud arn a morg. Or corp. You mos bode por wheech worn you lighe.

I need $'s!

 Escuse me.

The Wooman says I need to orn parket morney eef I wan' to fly to Australia. So I wan' to know. Does anyworn wan' an ESTORBO callendar, starteen' een March???

Por the wall (more beeg 8.5 eenches x 11) , or por the desk (more small, 10 eenches x 5 eenches)?Ees abou' ninteen $'s y porteen. Plos sheepeen'.

The Wooman says nobardy uses calendars no mas, y eed ees too espenseeb. I say, "Th."

Sheet:

The Wooman also yos tole' me thees ees the price weethoud prarfeet. I weell maghe no morney.

Dios mio. How can  I maghe morney? My caddle CSA barx ees nard selleen'.

My libe ees een the toilet.

Larst

Can sormworn pleaseporfabor tell me how to ged to Australia? Where do I torn lefd?

Hola Hola Hola!

I yam bag!!!

Madre di dios, bod the yoomans are pull ob drama.

Yesserday dinahmow lefd to fly bag down ondhair an' I was ber' sad. She gabe me feesh. Sardines een oil. Yom. Also she gabe me peecture of a feesh. Thees I can reepreepreep to waghe orp the yoomans ad 4am, yes? NO! Shoud the Wooman.

Same ole' same ole'.

Styoopeed yoomans lose a bag ad the aeroporto J. Effe Que. Rosh aroun' como cheeckens weethoud heads. Almose' lose thees carmpudehair so I can blarg no mas. Eediots. Portunadely the ordhair yoomans ad the aeroporto hab brains an' sabe their bacon.

Now thad the Wooman and the Smoothman are bag I weell onbeil my gran' plan por the Roop:

I yam goeen' to raise organeec caddle. Hab I tole' you abou' my caddle? I hord them een the sommhair time. I rosh arn the roop an' shoud, Git, git, git arn leedle dargies, an' they ron, ron!

The Wooman says Eeeeeeeeeee, you harreeble cad, thad ees a carckoach, when I breeng hor worn ob my caddle frarm the roop to show hor how nice an' fad they are...Bod those were wile', free range. Now I wan' pasture-raise', super local caddle...

Anyworn eenterest' een CSA barx of caddle? I geeb you goo' price. Righ' now they are theen, bod I yam goeen' to fadden them orp.

Led me know.