blank'/> The Libe ob Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana: I yam whad I yam...

Friday, September 3, 2010

I yam whad I yam...



&^$(*%%#!^&

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

Si.

I yam bag een a forgheen' short.

Weeth LARNG sleebes.

Why?

Yos because I was neebleen' arn the last leedle padge arn my lefd arm where the for was groween' bag so nicely (thad ees whad the Wooman said). Thees morneen' the Wooman looghed ad eed again, an' say, Estorbo, WHY? You hab the nice, esspenseeb Wellness food, you hab no more mango, you hab the Velcode oil por the shiny for, why?

Why? I say

Because I yam a Catto-leeck-leeck leeck!!!

Why? Because ob all the stress weeth Mordhair Chorizo.

You know, eed was hor borthday, an' the Empire Stade Buildeen' refuse to lighd orp especial weeth the blue and whide por Mordhair Chorizo, and the order Cattoleecks gard ber' mad an' made protes'. I was so stress' I started to leeck-leeck-leeck my arm again.

Ees lighe bideen' your nails. I bide my nails, too, bod thad ees OK. An the Wooman cleeps them ebery mornth. I lighe thad. Ber' relaghseen'.

So this morneen' she open the corpboar' to loogh ad the ole' shorts. The Home Depot worn was tighd arn my arms, an' maybe THAD ees why I star' thees padge arn my lefd arm whad was neearly bedhair onteel I started to leeck-leeck-leeck eed again.

Then she saw the new shord weeth larng arms thad we neber use' yed. Eed had larng legs, too, bod she cort these arf. We try eed arn. I was ber' polide abou' deed. The arms came down ober my paws. She taghe eed arff again an' make adyostmen'.

Ad las' eed was OK, yessepd she cort small arm holes so I can maghe stretcha more confortbale.

Sigh.

The Wooman say two weeghs.

I say, Breeng eed arn! I can taghe whadebber you throw ad me.

Dayeen. Dayoud.

My only prarblem...arn Mornday Deb y Heem, y Ereec y Mimi, corm por deenhair (feesh!). I yam afrai'...yos a leedle afrai', that they weell...

...laugh.

13 comments:

  1. Most seriously, I doubt that any of your guests will laugh. I know (at least from Deb's postings) that they love you very much.

    As an aside, it took me forever to figure out that Morder Chorizo was Mother Teresa. I was thinking something along the line of food and why the Empire State Building would turn blue for that. But then I'm not Cattooleek.

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMG, Estorbo! You are so much too much! If we didn't already hab the biggest blackest cad in the white house, I'd have to make you president, or king or something magnificent. I just lorb you! (And you do hang with an impressive crowd, and I'll bet they won't laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Maybe the woman will let you go shirtless for the duration of the dinner party.

    Storbie, you would have looked quite interesting if she had no cut the legs off that "shirt".

    I do think your play on words for Catoleek-leek-leek was awfully clever - you're getting really good!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ber' relaghseen'. Snort.
    Me too with the Morder Chorizo. we've missed you D. Estorbo ... a lot !

    You are tres handsome.
    Oliver, Virgil & Bleet

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love the little holes cut so you can stretch out properly. The woooman is so considerate. Don't let anyone laugh at you. Now if she hadn't cut off the legs of the shirt that would be a different story!Oh and I did get the Mother Teresa reference. I must speak Storbie language bery well.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh let them laugh... I know I am!! hee hee

    ReplyDelete
  7. I would never laugh at Estorbo, but I am STILL laughing at Mother Chorizo.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hermano! Mordhair Chorizo! Great story ... and you should stick to it. And I'm very sure your dinner guests will find you charming with or without the short!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Estorbo, those guests won't dare laugh at you! the blue shirt looks good on you...we're amazed at your patience in keeping it on. We meowed out loud over Morder Chorizo.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh estorbo, how could anyone laugh when you look so macho in your new shord?

    Kat x

    ReplyDelete
  11. I doan' ged eed.

    Whad ees so fonny abou' Mordhair Chorizo?

    Ese berber' serioos!

    ReplyDelete
  12. No way dey laff a you. U are mui styleesh in ur polo short!

    ReplyDelete