What Cads are Sayeen'

Thees is me Estorbo frarm the Charbocks arn Courd Streed. I ordered a corp ob steamed meelk weeth notmeg an' am borroween' a labtarp. I had to loogh cude an' say Miaow? The wooman toogh hor labtarp to South Afreeca weeth hor so I yam depribed ob my only form ob communication weeth the world. My heets arn my blarg are goin' to go to sheed... Thanghs a lard.

Anyway, Beence, who ees a Hombre, has been more considerade an eben drew thees pathedeec' attemb ad displayeen' hees knowledge ob cads. Does he theenk he is fonny? Feesh? Dude, hab you been readeen' my blarg??? Do you KNOW the extend ob my bocabulary?

Si. I know he ees actuallee tryeen' to maghe the Wooman laugh. Ad my expense. Yos remember Boddee: I may hab the power een the future to maghe your libe oncomfortable, because you weel be storck weeth me.

Ok, The truth? Beence ees a preeedy good guy. Preedy good size, too. Lighe me. And he broughd me feesh. An' poolled streeng. An' made a Netflix rad por me.

Confession: I meess the Yoomans!

efrican cet

this is me kehdi i am a bleck footed efrican cet dont lissen to my brutha he says we are asian tabbies i am not he might be dussent mattu what our papiss say i did not go to school i cant type ok and no punctuashun neitha i hate dogs especially small corgidogs that give me palpitashins and make me go to the vet

don estorbo told us we can blog here so we will but i dont know what to say he is a bit full of himself to have a whole blog but he is a new yorka and we hear they are noisy peeple i mean cats so i will be noisy too even tho i am small

the end

While Estorbo is deprived of a keyboard...

...the Wooman and Faraway Cats have been permitted to Guest Post:

Kudos to Estorbito's friend Tomcat at workingclasscats.com. Read the NYTimes article (about deli cats who fight the rat scourge) that lists his blog.

other cets

my name is andre khamel. i was named after a french opposition attorni who worked on a case against my boss. my boss won. i live in constantia with my sista kehdi and white spook and wellington the maine coone (also known as that cat), with two small corgidogs and ben the big bleck barker. i am a heppi cet with no worries. my sista kehdi has worries. even though she is an asian tabbie like me she says she is a bleck footed efrican cet. she is jealous of the smalldogs who are new and cute. the boss and the big missus love the smalldogs. i love everybody. i am a noworri cet. i have a terrible voice that sounds like vultures.

i love prawns, man. i love them. here is the big missus letting me lick her prawn fingers. then i got two tails that i crunched up. yes, i sit on the table sometimes. you don't like it find another blog. estorbo says i can say anything here. actualli i am a polite cat and a pacifist. i am sorry if you don't like it.

but i will do it again.

Happee Chreestmas

The Wooman is leabeen' me. Por a larng time. Paulo weel loogh after me. I lighe heem. Bod I weel be lonely.

One day the Wooman an' Beence an' me weel be a nu-cuclear familee.

(I hope Meester Boosh choghes arn a pretzel. Maybe thees time they weel nard be so qeeck weeth the Hindleeck Manoeuvre)

Eed's torf bein' me...

I hab to fighd dangerous streeng marnsters thad hide onder the kikois.

I hab to waid porebber to ged my torn ad the compudair...

...an I ged blamed por meesterious shreddeen's ob paper.

Whad? I hab nebber seen thes paper een my libe. No, I deed nard do thad! Deed I heear you yelleen' ad me ad 3am? No, I hord nartheen', I was asleep. You threw a peellow agains' the door to maghe me starp? I tell you I was asleep!

I need a res'...

The Canadian has been exercising me so moch I needed to dreenk some nice fresh Brookleen water een the bath thees morneen', eben tho' I ged a corp meexed weeth my pelleds (por to make-a me pee como a racehorse).

I escabed eento the sonshine wheech lasted two minutes, to warm myself een a part...

Then she broughd me eenside an' tried to coddle me.

Rape! Help! Talk to the Claw!

Beence...we meess you.

There EES a Gard....

...an' hees name ees Beence:

I greed heem uparn arrible. He smeels como feesh. Thees ees a goo' sign.



He onpaghs sometheen', an' star' to prepare eed.



Oh. My. Gard.



Oh. My.Gard.



I yam een Heaben...

Eet's neearly Chreestmas

...sheet.

Beence? You breengeen' por your blag, forry son, a geeft?

Lighe....

feesh?

Deear Santa: por Chreestmas I woul' lighe:

feesh FEESH FEESH, an' feesh, feesh and some feesh and also some feesh an a leedle beet ob FEESH, feesh an feesh an' some feesh an' also feesh.

Gracias.