My black kitty told me to tell you this: "I feel so sorry for you! My human does this to me sometimes too. She gets her lazy ass out of bed (the bed that incidentally she won't let me sleep in with her...such a meanie) and wanders out to the kitchen and every once in a while starts to make her hot black liquid without first feeding me my turkey giblets in gravy! I mean how rude is that?! Here's a tip. I still have my claws and when I stretch up to remind her that 'hey! Remember me and MY needs?!' I put my adorable paws on her fleshy thigh and sink my claws in just a teeny tiny bit. Works every time! Adios amigo mio!'
Beence: ROTFL And look at Bobo! They always look like they haven't been fed in days and haven't seen a pellet in weeks.. How do you say, Beence? oh yeah. It's all a scam.
Blag keeddy: I know. Sormtimes when she ees sleepeen' een the morneen', way pass' 5am, I poot my paw (weeth claws steeckeen' oud yos a leedle,) arn tarp ob hor faze. Worghs ebery time.
Beence. No. Nard afthair meednigh'. Are you forgheen' loco????: Pelleds ad 5am! Pelleds ad 6pm. Dayeen, dayoud, por Fabor!
Seegreed? Bobo? Who ees thees Bobo? No comprendo nada.
Rosty, Geighair, Sporran: twiceaday. Ees downrighd abuseeb. An' you're righd:
Abba?
Beence? Ees there sormtheen' you maybe wan' to share weeth os...ee's OK. We are your frien's...
As your CATtorneys, and in order to bill the Wooman correctly and accurately for your services, we need a list of your daily services for the woman that earn your twice-daily pellets.
Oh, and the Woooman keeps describing your mighty meow as a mere "eep." We need a recorded exemplar of your meow to disprove her assertions, and possibly serve as a basis for a defamation claim against her for slandering your mighty meow...
P.S. Estorbo, I love you just the way you are. You are the cat of my dreams! My pellet mate. My hero. My furball synthesizer. You make me whole. We are one. [sob]
My black kitty told me to tell you this: "I feel so sorry for you! My human does this to me sometimes too. She gets her lazy ass out of bed (the bed that incidentally she won't let me sleep in with her...such a meanie) and wanders out to the kitchen and every once in a while starts to make her hot black liquid without first feeding me my turkey giblets in gravy! I mean how rude is that?! Here's a tip. I still have my claws and when I stretch up to remind her that 'hey! Remember me and MY needs?!' I put my adorable paws on her fleshy thigh and sink my claws in just a teeny tiny bit. Works every time! Adios amigo mio!'
ReplyDeleteOk, I'll go out on a limb here...
ReplyDeleteThere's not a soul out there,
No one to hear my prayer,
Gimme gimme gimme pellets after midnight... ;-)
Beence: ROTFL
ReplyDeleteAnd look at Bobo! They always look like they haven't been fed in days and haven't seen a pellet in weeks..
How do you say, Beence? oh yeah. It's all a scam.
Hermano, does She only feed you once a day? Ay-ay-ay! You need a union rep.
ReplyDeleteAnd Beence - Abba? Really?
Blag keeddy: I know. Sormtimes when she ees sleepeen' een the morneen', way pass' 5am, I poot my paw (weeth claws steeckeen' oud yos a leedle,) arn tarp ob hor faze. Worghs ebery time.
ReplyDeleteBeence. No. Nard afthair meednigh'. Are you forgheen' loco????: Pelleds ad 5am! Pelleds ad 6pm. Dayeen, dayoud, por Fabor!
Seegreed? Bobo? Who ees thees Bobo?
No comprendo nada.
Rosty, Geighair, Sporran: twiceaday. Ees downrighd abuseeb. An' you're righd:
Abba?
Beence? Ees there sormtheen' you maybe wan' to share weeth os...ee's OK. We are your frien's...
As your CATtorneys, and in order to bill the Wooman correctly and accurately for your services, we need a list of your daily services for the woman that earn your twice-daily pellets.
ReplyDeleteThx.
NyM
Oh, and the Woooman keeps describing your mighty meow as a mere "eep." We need a recorded exemplar of your meow to disprove her assertions, and possibly serve as a basis for a defamation claim against her for slandering your mighty meow...
ReplyDeleteNeko Y Marzipan, my byoodeeful CATtorneys...(I eemply no gendhair bias): I weell compile the berber' esstensseb leest.
ReplyDeleteEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
Ok, for the record... I officially deny ever having owned the entire Abba collection in my weird late teen years.
ReplyDeleteLuckily, the Sisters of Mercy were lurking...
P.S. Estorbo, I love you just the way you are. You are the cat of my dreams! My pellet mate. My hero. My furball synthesizer. You make me whole. We are one. [sob]
ReplyDelete