The Wooman and the Hermano are talkeen' arn Skype an' she ees sayeen', Oh, I lorf you so moch, you are the man ob my dreams, lighe when I was a leedle gorl I would eemagine a cowboy cormeen' op to rescue me arn his blag an' whide horse, an' you are yos lighe heem, especial when you wear jeans, hmhmhm...egh (hairball) ...
An' he say, You are the Wooman ob my dreams an' so wonnerful an BLA.B.L.A.B.L.A.
My Gard.
Escuse me, Hermano? I say, polidecuriousboice, eenteropteen' thees larng deestance lorf fest, bod:
Am I how you imagined me????
...
...silence frarm Canada.
Estorbo? he say...
Si! I reply, ears ready por the answer.
Um...are you how I imagined you? carnfusedyoomanboice.
Si, exacto! I say. Well, am I?????
Um....I deedn't eemageen you, Estorbo.
...
...
...
Estorbo?
Si..? I say, bersmallboice.
Estorbo, whad do you mean?
I mean, Am I the CAD OB YOUR DREAMS?????
....ah...er....um...
WELL??? desperadeboice...
A leedle fadder, a leedle blagger, a leedle more hairy, maybe? Whad? Whad? Whad??? - tellmeIcantagheead!
Estorbo!!!!!
You wor nard theenkeen' abou' me. You wor nard anteeceepateen' par' ownersheep een a cad como yo. You had no esspetations, no desire, no dreamcad.
Eenshort:
I do. nard. madhair.
ESTORBO! Snapoudobeed!
Oh. Reeally? I yam makeen' drama? Well, escyoo-o-o-o-ose me!
Estorbo?
Si? How do you lighe your new food?
Oh. Food. Ebo ees goo'. I doanlighe the dorck so moch. Cheecken an' torkey ees good. Beef ees good. The Wooman forgard to buy beeg sorply today. Tonighd I had to eat Heells sheet. Eed was goo' too. I reeally doan' care whad I ead. The Wooman care.
Bod I do wan' cheecken soup por my soul, lighe Ikaika.
Are you feelleen' bedhair Estorbo?
I yam fine, why?
Because...you know, the cad ob my dreams, an' so on?
I hab no idea whad you are talkeen' abou'...
...
You lighe cads...lighe...thad? I am so sharcked.
Estorbo!
Hermano? Thad ees...seeck!
...
Cleeck.
Estorbo, you have too vivid an imagination and have distorted the whole conversation! But yes, if you ask me, you are just like I imagined you. Wanna know why? Easy. You 'espeak-a 'Spanish. And most of all, you belong to the woman of my dreams. ;-)
ReplyDeleteQuote:
Another cat to Estorbo: "Why do you think the woman loves you so much?"
Estorbo: "It's because I am handsome, black, powerful, charming and I make a scratcha like no other."
The other cat: "And what do you love about her?"
Estorbo: "That she thinks that I am handsome, black, powerful, charming and I make a scratcha like no other."
Estorbo, I don't know if it has the power to make you feel better, but you are, hands down, the cat-in-law of my dreams... there...I spent years imagining you.
ReplyDelete'Storbie,
ReplyDeleteI'm heartbroken you have not answered my email...
-Marzipan
thisismekehdi thee bleckfootedefricancat u r thee cet of mi dreems storbeeboy
ReplyDeletepee ess i luv u
Beence: I was pullleen' your leg, hermano. Bod the leg ees so larng you thought I was bideen' you ad the food.
ReplyDeleteMarzeepan, lo siento! I yam a peeg.
Segreed. Ad las', a pearson weeth tasde an' excellent yodgemend.
Kehdi! - your Wooman tells me you are geddeen' plomp. Be careful or they put you arn Heell's Lighd sheet! Keep eadeen', leedle keetten.