Yes. Eed ees me. I yam nard fad. I yam florffy. Arn my las' bed beeseed, Dr Slabe, I mean Slade, say I yab larst weighd: 0.2 poun'. So the Wooman says now I can ead how moch I wan'. Madre de Dios. My whole libe I yab been waideen' por thees.
So I woul' lighe to share weeth you my new fabouride foo', deescober las' nigh'. The Wooman was eadeen' lefdobers cheecken salad while she wadge forgheen' Nedfleeghs an' een the bowl ees sorm cole' cheecken een dresseen' ob beenegar, arleeb oil, raw shallot, whide balsameec beenegar, y golden raisins soag' y poach' een the beeneegar. Y chile. Mucho, mucho chile. She geeb me smallpequeno piece of cheecken after she has clean eed ob dresseen', then she puts the bowl negh's to hor, leabeen many raiseens y shallot.
I walgh arn tarp ob hor y ober hor to ged to the bowl.
Peeg, says the Wooman
(!? - You are the worn eadeen' een fron' ob the forgheen' TB?)
There ees no more cheecken lef' een the bowl, cad, says the Wooman,
Ees OK, I say, I yam eadeen the deleecious, nutritious golden raiseens soagh' y poach een beenegar y leecken the dresseen'.
The Wooman star' the laugh. LAUGH! Ad me!
Estorbo, thees ees Seeceelian-inspire' foo'!
OK, I say. I yam inspire'! Whad eees the beeg, forgheen' deal?
She star' tagheen' oud the raiseens frarm the shallot y pusheen' them towards me, y I say, Gracias, y I ead all the raiseens y then I star' to ead the shallot. Thad ees when she taghe the bowl away frarm me.
She call me crazee.
She call me loco.
I call hor cruel.
...
Borpa (do I yab ba' breath?)...
Eeeek. Cats are not supposed to eat raisins, they are on the list of bad foods for cats. No mas, ok? Sorry, mi amigo.
ReplyDeleteDoan' worree. I yam AOK por 24 hours. No bad seempton. Goo' appetide. Happy cad.
ReplyDeleteHermano, if someone tells me I am fad I stand on their toes and say I am jus' well-built.
ReplyDeleteOil is good. Very good.
Señor Fluffy? That's not right.
ReplyDeleteStorbie, you're eating better than me. Ask the Wooman to make the pork belly-lettuce wraps again, for your hit of chlorophyll!
Storbie, have you heard of a cat food called Sojo's? It's a dehydrated complete cat food, made with high quality, *real* ingredients, made here in Minneapolis. You can add anything you like to it to make it more interesting, or you can eat it as is. I work at a fancy pet food boutique here and would be happy to send you some samples to try. You seem like a cat of sophisticated, discriminating tastes who would appreciate this food, plus the Wooman will like that you have to add water :)
ReplyDelete--Leigh in MN
Ay yi yi! Both raisins and shallots are on the "toxic to cats" list, but the Wooman already knows this. That's why she took the bowl away, hermano. She lorbs you. Now Cheecken, well, you grab as much of that as you can!
ReplyDeleteUh oh, I don't want to be near your litter box today!
ReplyDeleteWell, actually, The Wooman didn't know about cats and raisins. Only about the onion.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is he is fine, 36 hours later. No bad litter box experience, no throwing up, no lethargy (all associated - on the Web - with raisin ingestion).
Most of the literature seems to talk about dogs. Perhaps cats are different. Also, there is absolutely no hard evidence for this - so I am a tad sceptical, but was no less concerned by the revelation.
Perhaps the white balsamic vinegar in which the raisins poached neutralized whatever the bad thing is. And no one knows what the bad thing is.
But I am sorry I fed him raisins, anyway...He LOVED them.
Grapes and raisins can cause kidney failure in cats. However, some cats are apparently not affected. I wouldn't push my luck with them!
ReplyDeletegreen beans in a shallot-free dressing might be just the thing for 'Storby.. followed by cantaloupe- my family of cats dined on these bits and I've read that big cats eat melons in the wild too.
ReplyDeletei have looked for this chicken dish on "the food" with no luck. will you share the ingredients? i have a cooked chix breast to use up.
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog and have to say eet ees forgheen' hilariouz. I may never speak proper Eegnligh again.
ReplyDelete