blank'/> The Libe ob Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana: The terreeble eendeegneety ob my libe

Monday, September 17, 2012

The terreeble eendeegneety ob my libe


I yad a ba', ba', BA', BA' weeken'.

BA'.

I was wash'.

Een the bath.

Weeth organeec senseeteeb shampoo.

All because ob a leedle messonderstandeen' weeth my forgheen' leeder tray whad ees abou' the size ob a hamstair's matchbarx. Har' to maneuber.

Forgh. The Wooman put me een the shower/bath. She close the door. She ees eenside there WEETH me. Y then she begeen' to feell the bath weeth WADHAIR! WARM WADHAIR.

Led me oooooooooooooooud, I beg.

She splash me. She sopa me. She reense me. My, you hab skeenny legs, she say, an' she GEEGGLE.

I cry. My eyes are blag.

Ad las' eed eees ober. She open the door y I maghe yompa y I sliiiiiiiiide across the floor. My pads hab no greep. She wash' away my tread!  She close the door an' now she dry me weeth the yooman towel.

I swear badwor's...Wor's yu hab nebber read here.

Then she puts me ouside y my worgh begeens. My toes are wed. Deesgosteen. I shaghe my feed. I leeck. Leeck Leeck Leeck. Forebber.

Thad nigh she say to me, Estorbo you are so shiny y saft, I migh' wash you more arften.

Keess my forry ass, I say.

Oh, Estorbo she say. You are soch a bad temper cad.

...

...

To eemprobe my mood she eenforms me that I yam goeen' to the bed por a check orp arn Thorsday. Dr Slade want to know abou' my typhoid y how abou' my keedneys?

My happiness ees carmpleet.


18 comments:

  1. aaaaaauuuuuuugh!!!

    Time to run away with your caddle.

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  4. She WASHED you? That's one brave woman.....

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  5. You did not fight and struggle and swear enough. At our house it takes TWO to even wash my booty off. Never tried to give me a full bath. Even then, I bide them.

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  6. I am so sorry, hermano. But Simba is right, you gotta fight! The humans have never given me a bath *shudder* and never will. It takes two of them to brush me and clip my claws, but I exact a price -- blord and cheeken.

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  7. Oh Estorbo, I feel for you. Bath and the Vet. What else could go wrong? (Remember things come in threes.)

    (Snort, hilarious laughter, I can just view the mayham!!!) Off to rake grass. My penance for laughing.

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  8. Kiss it is right! Is the wooman's life insurance policy up to date?

    BTW, this might be a good time for a casual stroll over to the neighbor cat's terrace, Coco, whatever her name.

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  9. Hey Storbie, a kleen cad ees a nize cad.
    Ged ober eet! Da Wooman takin good care ob yu!

    Maghes me theenk my 2 cads cud usa bad too! =^..^=

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  10. Its all because she loves you....

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  11. Hola! ay-ay-ay, hermano! The Secretary has never bathed us, but we have heard such tales (Rusty told us)and can imagine your disgust.
    Good luck with the ved!

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  12. I am not a famous NY newspaper, but I love you and your blog so much, I wanted to share you with my readers. I have posted a link to your very talented Wooman, Smoothman y you, the beeg blag cad at Practically Magickal on blogger. I hope you will be pleased Storbie. OmaLinda

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  13. Oh dear! Perhaps a bigger leeter barx...?

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  14. The wooman is fearless. My person has never attempted to bathe me. I've trained her well.
    I hope the vet visit is full of good news. Do not bite the vet, it makes them cranky.

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  15. Hi Storbie, a parfumed guard-cat is good. All the soldiers on the roofs have his yearly bath as you.

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  16. At least you did not get the 'latest' homemade version of bath-for-getting-skunked (thought she was a CAD!)- that bath turns you into a bottle blonde: peroxide.

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  17. Pssst! Hey Estorbo, I hear that yur woooman is goin' to a festival with ... feeeeeeeesh!

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