blank'/> The Libe ob Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana: Meeami Treep, contd.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Meeami Treep, contd.

25 March 2001 21:22

So I ‘spose you wanna know 'boud Meeami?

Ees deeficult to know where to begeen. Eed ees berbery far away now an’ I yam a beed sad about being bageen thee Beeg Apple. Sometimes I theenk ees stupid name por thees seedy. Bod eef thees ees Beeg Apple, then Meeami ees Beeg Feesh. Ees bery good seedy por feesh.

Led me tell you, ees beeg blordee beesnees to get there when you are a cad.

You hab to travel in Onattractive Grey Plastic Barx weeth weendow eenfront.

You hab to drive een car serbice weeth Meedle Eastern driver who ees bery lade an’ no say sorree, then dribe like maneeac to get there een time.

You hab to be een queue ad airport por 40 meenutes weeth people lookeen’ ad you like you gard contagious disease (my meesers ebentually say to them, Well, I hope his rabies sharts are workeen’... Then they starp lookeen’.)

Then you ged scream’ ad by ground-attendant who say, Thees barx no feed onder seat of airplane! And my meesers bloff an’ say, My VED measured eed and eed weel feed! Then we pay at counter $75 por my teecket (beet stupid, because teecket person no see me arn floor an’ my meesers say, I hab cad...orderwise teecket person no noticean’ I fly free, bod my meesers scared from regulations).

So we go through secureety and I ged carried through beepeen’ door by security an’ I no-beep. Bod we mos’ let them look in Onattractive Grey Plastic Barx so my meesers leeft me out for a second an’ nice lady look een and I go bag eenside. Bod I theenk I could be smoggling drogs because she no look onder Turkish-cloth bought frarm bazaar een Eestanbul an’ maybe I gard sometheen’ onder there. Bod I gard nartheen’ eenyway.

Een essidement from seeing cad as hand loggage they no check the teecket from my missus an’ so she could be terroris’ too [Ed. 9/11 no happen yed]. Shee's nard. Bod no good secureety. Een Meedle Eastern car serbice I howl all way to airport an’ sweat a leedle from onder the paws, so when I yam een buildeen’ again an’ nartheen’ ees mobeen' I yam more quiet.

My meesers buy me bottle-water but I say to her HOW you theenk I can dreenk thees?? Through straw?? Bod I leeck some frarm horfeengers. I theenk she leedle afraid I pee in Onattractive Grey Barx. Whad she theenk I yam? Darg?? She also no feed me so moch breakfas’ een case I decide throw op in barx.

Een aeroplane we seed on aisle next to Asian man who read Korean newspaper - my meesers ask heem, he no afraid from trabel weeth cad next door? - he say no, he like cad. Een Meeami my meester say, perhaps he mean he theenk cad ees deleecious. My meesers say thees ees racist. So we fly an’ I howl yos’ a leedle frarm airplane noise then I shortorp an’ meesers can concentrade on being terreefied aboud flyeeng. Korean also terrified an’ together they preten’ to be asleep, bod I know they are prayeen’.

As we descend we theenk we go too fas’ an’ Korean theenk so too an’ hees hands are greepeen’ the sead, bod my meesers look relaxed even though she no starp being berbery releegious We land an’ Korean lets out all hees air an’ smiles. Meesers say thanks Gard. My Gard thees ees larng lairder.

Een airport we fine’ my Meester an’ he ees bery happy to see me and we fetch loggage an’ people look ad me like I yam bery eenteresteen’, an’ so I say nartheen’ abou’ rabies. We arrive at bery beeg, bery fancy hotel and go orp an orp een leeft to 37th Floor an’ eento apartment. Eed ees nice an’ whide an’ view ober downtown seedy an’ Bay of Biscayne an’ sweemeen’ pools an’ jacuzzis down an’down the 37 floors arn the groun’. I yam release’ arn nice cream carpet an’ meesers look in cage an’ see I no wed my pants. Why would I wed my pants?? I yam nard keetten.

I walk aroun’ a leedel lookeen’ an’ my Meester show me bran’ new cad toilet een my own bathroom, and I lie down and sharpen claws arn cream carpet een leeveen’ room. Then all hell break loose an’ they scream, ESTORBO! an’ chase me roun’ an’ roun’. They bery fonny an’ theenk I scratch all leather furniture wheech ees whide.

My meesers feed me some food wheech ees same food as een Brookleen an’ I ead an’ go an’ lie down at glass slideen’ doors to balcony. Thees blordee long story an’ ees only DayOne.

Een nex’ eenstallment we talk abou’ feesh and Cuban cats. I’ a leedle eenfluence' frarm them...they no put consonan’ ad the en’ dob words. They say they no’ go’ to pu’ co’sona’ a’ en’ ob wor’ becau’ sees too mu’cheffor’.

1 comment:

  1. yes, we want to hear about meeami. long letter, day one, mmmmmm we fascinated about yor trip estorbo. you sat onna seat next to yor meesers, we were in unnatractive wooden boxes in a big dark noisy plane with no meesers, no praying koreans, only lugij and horrible screechy enjin noise. we remembering the trip onna underground train. our meesers she was on same plane but somewhere else, maybe with a praying korean, she didn say. we look forward to day 2 (how many days in meeami?) love, your brothers XX