Dios Mio

I yam baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! Madre! Whad ees wrarng weeth the Wooman, man! I habn't been able to ged close' the compudair por a weeegh! WTF??? She seets, seets, tybhes, laughs, cries. She ees seeck! She need some grass an' catneep.


So I lefd the apar'men' and hab been playeen' arn my rooftarps.

Friday nighd I sed a new recor'! Four carckaroaches!!! I ron eenside, the Wooman, say, Estorbo, whad ees een your mouth?? I say, Mhhwhahmmmmhgh (ees deefeecol' to talgh weeth legs weegleen' een your mouth).

I know whad comes nex': when I poot the carckaroach careful arn eed's bagh so eed can't ron away, to show hor whad a GOO' CAD I yam, she weell go SMACK weeth the beeg book and no more carckaroach. So I hab new plan:

I EAD HEEM!

Cronch, cronch. Deleecious. Lighe shreemp.

She nearly die. Heheheheh. She cry, Estorbo, where do you ged them?? I loogh ad hor lighe, You theenk I'm gonna tell you? Forghed eed, Seester. I hab a stash. Ees mine, all mine. Catch your own.

Thees ees Trebor. My Gard, yos loogh ad his biew, man. Thees ees een Cape Town, he tell me, een Kalk Bay...Some cads hab eed lorcky...I woul' lighe to beeseet an' catch feesh weeth you.

The bes': breakfas' time. My shartglass ob pelleds. Cronchy, deleecious, golden, dayeen, dayoud pelleds.

Yesserday was cool so I coul' seet ou'side weethoud fryeen' my brain.

I promise' H-H-Huwi an' Trebor some more heestory. They wanna know abou' the Mexican. I tole' them I doan' talkabou' eed. I carm from a broken home, man. Bod I weel sorch through my heestorical correspondance weeth Beeg Blue an' see whad I can fine'. Watch thees spaze...An' yes, I yab peecture ob Beeg Blue, bod I mos geev to my Meesers to scan. Ees old. OK?

OK.