My frien'sGracias to all ob you who made polide soyyestions abou' a feedhair automateec or help-myselb feedhair. The las' worn ees a goo' idea: The las' time the Wooman tried thees, I helped myselb. Eed was grade. You bomp eed, eed delleebhairs pelleds. So I bompa bompa bompa teell eed was empty. Then I pass' oud.
Also, I hab eencluded leenk to ole' pose' abou' the Feedhair. Notice my spelleen' has changed ober time. I eemprobe, I try. You see, I hab a forgheen' feedhair!
I had a depribe' keeddenhoo'. Ees why I need to ead. Lighe the Wooman, she was stress' yesserday, immediate she buy a packade ob Doritos an' ead them all while she ees sharpeen'. Peeg. Ees therapy. Pelleds are therapy too. Carbohydrades agains' homelessness, lighe I wornce neearly was een the days ob cadgeen' rattons to orn my leebeen' arn the Lower Eas' Side, an then bein' deported to Staten Island afthair I gard eento fighd weeth a car whad broghe my jaw. You shoul' dab seen the car.
Staten Island ees penal colony por gatos. An' Beence.
Here ees peecture of Feedhair, wheech fed me four meals when they wor een Fire! Island las' mornth. I push thad Feedhair frarm worn side ob the apar'men to the order, to ged all the meals worntime. Deedn't work. Eed's muy strong. More than me....
I yam geddeen' weagh. I need mas pelleds.
Oh pobrecito! If you come live with me I will give you many, many pellets. I will give you catnip toys and let you sleep on my down comforter. Don Estorbo, come live with me and be my cat!
ReplyDeleteyeah, an' if all the wurrrld an luvv wirr yung, etc. etc.
ReplyDeletehermano, ya shudn't be so hongree alla tyme. ya noe i hate to bring up bad memrees, but next tyme yer at the [v-e-d-s] maybe get a thyroyd test? wen we reech a sertin ripeness, age-wyse, we need ta hav theez things looked into. Mine's cat chessie whut wuz heer wen i came but haz since passed on [not becuz a me] had sum thyroyd trubble. she was alla tyme screeming for fud til it wuz fownd owt and she got treeted.
~^:^~
Estorbo, this is heartbreaking. I'm sending a link to your blog to Amnesty International.
ReplyDeleteHola! Hermano, we are healthy young cats, but maybe Halloween makes a point. Rusty is always asking for more and he is very skinny. Dinah says it's because he is old.But we support our ginger hermano an' we ask for more, too.
ReplyDeleteYour wooman really is the best kind of feeder, but she seems to be resisting your training of her...might have to make do with the feeder, at least for early morning feedings. And halloween might be right about the thyroid, too. Diabetes is another possibility. But then again, so is absence of an adequate quantity of pellets!
ReplyDeleteHermano, I gotta agree with the thyroid testing suggestion, if you haven't already had it done. When we get a certain age, our human takes us to the v*e*t for bloodwork, just to make sure everything's OK. Just sayin'. We worry about you, dude.
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up, Estorbo, with your, scratcha, scratcha, scratcha, cruncha, cruncha, cruncha and now, bompa, bompa, bompa!
ReplyDeleteBailey says, "If I don't get food when I want it, I sleepa, sleepa , sleepa." He's just way too polite!