I yam goeen' nucuclear feesheen':
I yab been EENFORM' thad I weell be goeen' atomeec arn Cinco de Mayo!
FORGHE!
sheet (smallboice).
Arn Cinco de Mayo (ees 5th May, eef you no speagh my language) I go to Manhattan.
EEN A CAB!
sheet
I yab essameenation at Animal Endocrine Clinic. I mean, Cleeneec. Ees call Hypurrcad. I hade pons.
I yam then taghen' by Dottore Peterson to Westchester, orpstade. There, they weell microwabe me.
!!!!!
All because I bomeet a leedle. I promeeese. I weell nebber bomeet again!
Een Westchseter they yab deeferen' law abou' radioacteeb cads. They release me before Manhattan can release me. Ees why I mos trabel.
TRABEL.
sheet
I mos stay abou' five days. Cinco dias.
Leesten, Estorbo, says the Wooman.
Eep, I say.
Estorbo...leesten: You hab been to Miami arn aeroplane. You hab reedeen' NYC sobway. You sorbibe 9/11. The Blagout ob '03. The weareen' ob clothes when you leecked your for. A leedle treep orpstade eees northeen'.
Easy por you to say, I cry.
The Wooman say I weel hab "condo" (yos lighe Miami?) y telebision weeth program por los gatos, y "libe entertainmen" (streepers??? danceen' pooosies????).
Who the forghe ees payeen por thees, I as'.
YOU! she says.
Me?
Yes, Estorbo. The Bank of Los Amigos de Estorbo is helping to pay for your star treatmen'.
Oh, I say.
Do I yab signeen' powers arn these accoun'?
No, she say.
WTF?
I know you, Cad. Eef you coul' ged your paws arn your fonds you woul' boogh a wornway teecket to La Republica Dominicana y spen' the res' ob your days bomeeteen' onder a palm tree.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep...
...
...
Maybe I weell glow in the dark?
I hope this trip is a yawn. Cinco de Mayo is a long way off. Or, Estorbo, is it purrty soon?
ReplyDeleteEstorbo, when I first came to know you on this blog, the biggest concern was your licking and the dreaded orange shirt. Now it is radiation and typhoid. If a trip upstate is necessary, then you will have to do what it takes. Make sure they know your demands/needs/wants before you go and perhaps you can turn it into a spa-like retreat.
ReplyDeleteYou are quite a celebrity, Estorbo. The Doctor tking you to the other Cleeneek himself? I bet they don't do that for many cads.
ReplyDeleteStorbie, I checked out the spa, they have photos and a video. You know, looks forgheen A-OK to me! Pack a large suitcase.
ReplyDeleteBe sure to sign up for a massage every day during your spa vacation. All that entertainment (streepers) will bw tiring. You'll be fine, hombre.
ReplyDeleteThat radioacteeb typhoid spa looks preety good, hermano. You'll have live-streaming cat TV and videos, lots of toys and your own suite. WOW! The humans and your public will miss you, but this is a cutting edge vacation -- medical tourism!
ReplyDeleteHola! We wonder if we could have a trip like this...? But Dinah says we are not sick enough.
ReplyDeleteOn Cinco de Mayo, we will make the secret sign.
Oh sweetie, I know it sounds scary, but try to think about how much better you'll feel afterward. No glowing in the dark, just the glow of good health! And perhaps the Wooman will pack some of your favorite foods (sardines, enokis, las cucaraches) for your stay.
ReplyDeleteI'm leaving tonight (from CA) for a week in Manhattan, so my good vibes will be closer to you. (((((Estorbo)))))
Storby, my person said she is sending some $ to Banco de Estorbo after she gets her paycheck. We wish we could make a more generous donation.Your familia (and your amigos) will miss you terribly while you are away from home. Be sure to give us updates while you are away and get well super soon!
ReplyDeleteLap up the attention Storbie! (Sorry for the baad pon) Don't forget to keep us posted, I'm sure the time will fly by and you'll soon be back on the roop. Jaffa and the Lemon Pie send big puuurrrrssss : )
ReplyDeleteWe are sending lots of purrs--no green bills as the human is still unemployed. We hope the "microwaving" will be successful. Pay attention to that television--you may learn how to catch that squirrel!
ReplyDelete