I heear a beeciouoos rumour.
Ees eed true? Does anyworn know?
The Wooman weell retorn?
Ees eed yos chatt-hair?
Or truth?
Because, como, I hab a new routine...
Lighe the bed. Hombre. I yab halb the bed. When the Wooman lefd I was nard sleepeen' arn the bed, no. She use' to say, Remembhair the days when Estorbo use to sleeb arn the bed, sigh?
Well, I yam sleepeen' arn the forgheen bed now y there ees only space por two. Heem, y me. I yam the 1% y I own the bed OK? OK. The 99% can sleep arn the terrace.
We doan' negotiate weeth desertors.
Also, the Wooman ees fire' as my official photographer. There ees no deman'. The man ees bedair. The truth horts. Whad can I say. Eed's New York, baby: Eef you cannar' taghe the head, remobe frarm the kitchen, yes?
Whad else? Oh.
Yeah.
I forgard. Streeng.
Sheet.
...(theenkeen'). Well, she ees allow' eenside to pull the streeng por me, because the Smoothman cannar' pull streeng por sheet. I doan' know how she do eed, bod the Wooman maghe' the streeng ber' animated.
Ees also a prarblem pequeno: my temphair. I doan know how to say thees, bod I yam becormeen' (smallsmallboice) a nice cad.
Whad eef the Wooman does narn lorb a nice cad? I yam the only kine' she ebber had. She ees use to War. She seeng, I bide hor. She stroghe me too many times, I bide hor. She tybe too loud y I maghe attagh frarm behine'. Now, I porr all the time, I maghe lorbeen' soun's een the morneen', I no bide. I no heed.
Maybe Dr Slade maghe hypnoteesm arn me? The Smoothman say ees because my typhoid made me angree. Hyper. Loco. I doan eben know eef I yam Estorbo Loco no mas. My identeedy ees crombleen'.
I yam habeen' a crisis.
Does arnyworn know a shreenk?
holy bast! we do not know either, storbie!! we only know that when our mommer is at home, we are happier.
ReplyDeletean' that personality change? maybe it is somethin' inna almost-springtime airs, for black cats only: igmu has been gettin' all cuddly, an' like "pet me", an' even sleekin' upto the dbd.
no matter what happens, we fink you will come out OK!!
Oh that picture is sex-ay. Storbito, it is ok that you are becoming a nice cat. The same thing happened to me ..sort of...when I stopped drinking caffeinated drinks. It can take a while to adjust. Besitos.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure there's anything wrong with a nice cat...big voice or small voice. We are 6.5 nice cats and life is good.
ReplyDeleteToday's picture is really great. shows off your emerald eyes and gorgeous fur.
As for the bed....2 peoples will keep you warmer than 1.
What about bunkbeds? That could be a win-win-win.
ReplyDeletedid you see a cad whisperer?
ReplyDeleteEes jus forgheen cah’nip to magh sure da Wooman comes home. Don Estorbo ees playin with her head.
ReplyDeleteMaybe when you can't sleep on half the bed, you will stop being a nice cat, and the Wooman will recognize you. But I also think you may have something there about the typhoid. Also maybe you should make sure the Smoothman tells the Wooman that you will be expecting Beel Tarng when she returns to stay nice.
ReplyDeleteTheenk about the bed situashoon, Estorbo, es hard to fin a good streeng pullor....
ReplyDeleteGreat post, kitty, and very funny replies from all!
ReplyDeleteI have to say the bill's tongue has been shipped repeatedly to us from South Africa, but despite our greatest expectations and unbearable suspense every time I open an envelope, bill's tongue just doesn't travel well. Nobody but the garbage can benefited, here. And the Don almost went into a depression at the 4th envelope discard...
Other than that, and despite the kitty's tone, we are quite psyched at the perspective of our woman getting off a plane in two weeks.
He clearly thinks at this stage that humans X 2 = pellets X 2 = endless bliss and high investment return. Who am I to disappoint him?
Instead of string you should make your people buy you a toy called cat dancer. This is the best toy in the whole world, and my person says it it is inexpensive online (too bad, because I deserve rich things but I still cannot keep from playing with it). With the cat dancer toy instead of a string, you would not need to base your negotiations on string-playing abilities of different people.
ReplyDeleteBut of course I am sure you are secretly thrilled the woman is returning. Just don't let on. :)
Maybe the nice butcher, the one who learned to make borewors, can learn to make Beel Tarng?
ReplyDeleteFear not, Estorbo, we love our nice cats. I miss mine right now.
ReplyDeleteAnd, one more thing to consider, Don. The Wooman sends out nice letters for you. I think you should keep her and just see if she can sleep in less space. You'll enjoy having her back.
ReplyDeleteThey have to love us, hermano, nice or not. It's in the contract. But yeah, it's probably the typhoid thing, and I think you're really happy the Wooman is coming back soon.
ReplyDeleteWho needs an expensive shrink when you feel that good?
ReplyDeleteHey, Storbie, life ees about changes.
ReplyDeleteYu gatta go wid da flow!
Estorbo, Since I am in deep cat doo-doo (He who must be obeyed hurt his leg and I had to take him to the vet tonight-sprain, probably) I can not call upon him for advice. However I am certain that he will tell you that it is your right to act as you will, and you never need to explain. You are cat.
ReplyDeletenice cad.
ReplyDeleterite.
way to go with keepin' em off balense, hermano
~^:^~
Check your email, hermano.
ReplyDeleteI lorb your cad. I can hardly write, I don't want to break the spell. now to sleep.
ReplyDelete