I yam shathaired.
Today, een El Nueva York Times, ees beeg story abou' the Wooman. Y the Smoothman, y...ME!
Soun's berber' nice, yes?
No!
You can read eed here. Carncrete Yongles een Nueva York.
Arn the fron' ob the arteecle ees peecture ob the yoomans arn the terrace. Y whad do they show ob me? MY ASS!
Forghe.
Y whad deed they say abou' me, DonEstorbodelaBodegaDominicanaheearmeroareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep?
Thad I yam "EERREETABLE CAD"!
Whad.
The.
Forghe.
I cannard comprehen' these.
I was nice. I leesten, polide, the lady askeeen' the Woooman all the questions. I waid por my questions. Polide. Quied. Then I ged bore' y go to seed arn the table arn the terrace. Yoomans: Blablablabla.
Neghs' theen' I know ees ENORMOUS man makeen' yompa arn the rooftarpo, pointeen'' his Neekon ad me: cleekc cleeck cleeck. PAPARAZZI!
I stare ad heeem with roun' eyes. Can I be nowhere een peace? He ees makeen' peectures weethoud askeen' my permeesion. Biolation ob my righ's. He ees also seeppeen gin-dreenk thad the Wooman geeb heem. Arn my roop.
Forghe.
Eerreetable. Ees slandair. I show them eerreetable.
Sigh.
Doan' I deserb more respeghd? Does no one lorb me???? Sarb.
I yam so sad
Later een thees story ees wreetten, Estorbo try "halfheartedly" to scratch worn ob the beeseetors.
...
Que?
I doan' remember theese? Porquewhy? Porque eed nebber happen! Estorbo does NORTHEEN "half heartedly". When I scratch you, you bleed, you die.
Pag ob lies.
I yab email' my lawyer.
I read that article yesterday (one of my spies sent me the link)and I had a little smile about the scratching.It's OK-my scar has faded.
ReplyDeleteI miss you, Storbie and I'm glad you were at least mentioned in the NYT.
Outrageous!!! A pissed-off Letter to the Editor is in order. As you said, the journalist and photographer were drinking heavily during their visit. Heads will roll! To make it up to you, they must write a flattering article about you and you alone.
ReplyDeleteTo show our solidarity, I'm canceling my subscription.
My darling Don Estorbo;
ReplyDeleteI know this post must be in jest. "Irritable" should be a badge of honor to a cat of your exquisite taste and superior intellect.
Would you rather be described as a sweet, gentle poody-tat.
I think not.
You eternal admirer,
Coco
We read the article and it is all very nice EXCEPT for what the author says about you! THREE negative references to you. My belief is that the author is not a cat lover, probably not even a DOG lover!
ReplyDeleteMy dear Estorbo, though this is an otherwise lovely article and answered many of my questions about the Wooman and the Smoothman , you are right!
ReplyDeleteYou are the "star" of one of my favorite blogs, inciteful and hilarious and you deserved much more attention and many compliments.
But for the time being, I hope you will consider that you and your people have many appreciative and well entertained
fans who love you.
Congratulations on the article!!
Disrespectful, at the very least. You should definitely organize a boycott of the NYT for treating you like a mere housecat. Clearly they did not realize in whose presence they were. To the barricades. Down with NYT!! The article was nice about the humans, tho.
ReplyDeleteIt's about time someone found you -- your unique jungle, owners and of course the irrepressible Don Estorbo.(Notice I didn't use the other 'ir' word.) But never mind the 'ir' word. How could they call your owners 'lanky'? The wooman is slender and beautiful and I bet she keeps the smoothman's head nicely polished. You all deserve all the recognition you can get. Incidentally, I now understand why you have to keep all those creatures under control. They need you, Storbie to keep the bad guys away from the jungle.
ReplyDeleteThe cat protests too much. As usual. Penelope Green, the New York Times reporter, in fact likes cat. She is simply astute. And the cat IS irritable. Very few people see the cuddly, purring kitty we -onceinabluemoon- see. And she was not drunk - she sipped abstemiously from minted water all along and turned down offers of pink gin.
ReplyDeleteStill, I think he feels genuinely wounded. I'll up his dose of fullfad meelk.
Hola! Hermano, we think our Secretary is a milk toast! She should have supported the legal action.But now we see the Wooman is on your side.Ask her for some mango yoghurt.(say please!)
ReplyDelete"Does no one lorb me????" We do! WE DO!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI read the article, and saw that you had a broken jaw. I can sympathise - my jaw is damaged, and if you are irritable, tell them they do not know the pain that you suffer!
Estorbo,
ReplyDeleteI was very worried that the medications had changed you as there had been inklings that you had mellowed. I am very happy to learn that you are still you. As to the other, well, journalists have to write a story. Just let it go as journalistic twittering.
Estorbo, what do you have to do to get the respect you deserve....I do love your garden....
ReplyDelete