Friday, March 30, 2012
Same ole' same ole'
I wen'. I came bag. I doan' wan' to talgh abou' eed.
Bod you see whad I had to endure, yes? A waideen' room. Weeth...d a r g s. Thees darg's name was Rex. You know whad thees means, yes?: KEENG!
Por fabor. I yam DON Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana hearmeroareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
I yam AOK, they say. My blord tes' say the Typhoid lebels are 3.3. Good.
Can you essplain to me eef I yam so normal why I maghe projectile bomeet all ober the bathroom?
Ees "bleep" in my treadmen', they say. The Wooman ees happy. I yam normal.
She has no i dea.
She say maybe eed ees the essitemen'.
Ob wad? I say.
Frarm bein' a celebretay! she say.
Como? I say.
Arn the corber of a boogh! she say.
Oh, thad. Thad's northeen'.
(An' where ees my forgheen' cheghe?! Een the mail???)
I wan' my own forgheen' boogh!
Ees new word. Ebery time I say forgheen A! the wooman say I mos replace weeth "oh, goody". She say my language ees bad.
Pee Ess: a messayge frarm my oh goody sponsor: The Wooman say I mos say thad VERG arn Warren Street are the best oh goody vets een the whole oh goody world!
They are OK. We hab been to manymanymany vets. We know.