blank'/> The Libe ob Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana: So close y yed so far away

Monday, August 15, 2011

So close y yed so far away

Eef you are joineen' me frarm the New York Times, ees goo' to see you! Diiiiiiiiiiios mio. They leenked to a cad weeth an aghsen' lighe mine! Ees beeg progress por anti deescreemination.

Pleease beeset their gallery ob bodega cads y cleeck arn peectures ob cads por story.

Eef you doan' know me, I yam Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep (ees my boice due to loss ob cojones. I doan' wan' to talgh abou' eed, OK? OK).

The bodega was a larng time ago, arn the Lower Eas' Side, where I was a keetten y where I caugh' my fors' mouse. I yab leebed arn the LES, Staten Islan', een the Eas' Billayge, y now I leeb een Brookleen.

Bod as my frien' Ikaika poin' oud een the carmends, I yam nard retire'. I yam seemply worgheen' now een pribade sector ob secureedy: carckroach' rancheen' arn the roop, bermeen carntrol (I hade squeerels). Y ob course, Raccoon repulsion.

Bag to the beesneess:

Las' weeken' the Wooman maghe steaghe. She coogh eed arn the fire. I hade fire. Eed maghe smoghe. Born the buildeen' down. See the way the Smoothman ees loogheen' ad me? So rude. I was nard beggeen'. I do nard beg. Dargs beg. I as'. Polide. Eep?

Thees was arn my borthday. I yam steel weareen' the reebbon. The Smoothman was prepareen' my feesh. I was a leedle, como se dices?...desperade.

These ratton ees fantasteec! Eed remine' me ob the ole' days honteen' the beeg rads ad the Chelsea Garden Centhair on Eas' 2nd Streed. Before the Terreeble Theen' happen'. I doan' want to talgh abou' thad either, OK? OK. Yos setteen' sorm groun' rules. BTW - my feed hab nard torched the groun' een abou' a decade. I leeb arn the rooptarps.

Arn the weeken' the Wooman eeds breakfas' een bed. Lazy peeg. Bod I ged a leeck ob bodhair. Sormtimes. When she remembair. When she loogh orp frarm hor forgheen' boreen' boogh. So I waid, I waid.

Thad ees my libe. Always neear to sormtheen' I wan'. Perpetual torture.




  1. So NOW the few people who weren't already worshiping you are onboard. High time, I'd say. And I hope this means that you'll be posting more often because of the forgheen demand for you.

  2. What Anne B. said.

    I also sent a link to the article to your last sitter who lives in Australia so she could join in the fun, too.

  3. Finally you are getting the notice and respect you rightly deserve. Ole!

  4. Oh, guapito, that first picture of you is so dramatic and beautiful. Now we'll have to share you with all the newcomers. *sigh* I hope they admire you as we do...and they send you fish and mangos!

  5. Wow! The NYT! Now the whole nation will get a clue. But I think the word "retired" may be a bit misleading ... I mean after all, how can you be retired and work an organeec carckroach farm? And what about your side job chasing bermeen (dadadadada) on the rooptarp? Hmmmm?

  6. ayyyyy, storbie--dat look on yer face inna furst picture sez bolumes!! oh, the huMANity ... er, ... the CATmanity of you, wantin', waitin', nefur gettin'. *sigh*

    an' you is furry smart to keep all the dargs away--we haf had soft grey gutless mousies like the one you got, but our damnbrowndawg eats 'em as soon as we leaf 'em unattended. no amount of whappin' her onna nose wif claws can dissuade her. we do not fink she is teachable, so we gets no more grey fur mousies. bah.

  7. I love this photo of you. You feet look so shiny and soft.

  8. Estorbo, leeveen een Los Angeles (por fabor to say weeth agsent - AHN-hell-es), I see famous gente now y then. I eben had un amigo who wrode a screenplay weeth a famous actress een eet an now he ees jetteen aroun an we doan see las peliculas togethair nada mas. Doan forget the gente pequeno who hab been here antes de the New York Times. We lob you por who ju are... remembhair your roots...

  9. I yam eempress'...NYT! I yam eempress' orlso weeth thees peecture... the dramadeeghe hansormness of Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana. Forgheen A!