The yoomans hab been borgheen' me again. Leddeen' me oud ob the red coad to wash "onder soophair beesion". Sheet. When I try to wash the mose' eemportan' plaze, arn my tormy, they yomp orp and say Nooooooooo, Estorbo! Doan' maghe leecky leecky there, eed ees sore plaze!*&%$#@!!*&^ I know! Doan' you know cadleeck ees anteesepteec???
No! They cry, you hab O.L.D. Obseseeb leeckeen' deesorder an' you doan' know when to starp.
I know how to maghe you starp, I say. Prepare por attagh:
Sorry.Tole' you.
Doan' worree, the Smoothman ees beeg. He has lards ob spare blord.
Nooo, Storbie! Don't attack Beece! Stai calme, tranquillo!
ReplyDeleteTell Beence to stroke you gently, and murmur loving things, and you'll stop licking and calm down. Worked a treat for my poor old Robert. If he's not gentle enough, then fine, bite him! Humans think they can boss everyone around.....
ReplyDeleteEstorbo! Tell you human to get some Hartz anti-itch spray, or Humilac from the v-e-t. I'm a compulsive licker, too, and I make my tummy bald sometimes. Both these products help soothe my itchyitchy tum.
ReplyDeletexx KonaKitty
ps your red coat is STYLIN!
This post is such a great play on words, Storbie. Your picture, of course, utterly said Starp, with you paw up like that. Then the hoomans want you to Starp lickin, and then YOu want them to Starp telling you what to do, or interfering with your lickin. And of course Beence wants you to stop biting him.
ReplyDeleteAnd the photo, itself, belongs on a greeting card.
But...... DO starp lickin - are you stressed? Are you bored? Are you itchy? Or is it now just a bad habit?
Pobrecito! I hope you get the itches under control soon. You don't want to be wearing a red code in the summer. Did the v*e*d diagnose you with an obsessive leekeen' disorder? Maybe you have an allergy? My sister Tanith (who hates me) has eosinophilic granuloma complex, and she is allergic to clay litter. It made her lick her paws and chew holes in them. The human changed our litter from clay to newspaper pellets and she soaked Tanith's paws in nettle and plantain tea to help the itching and she hasn't had the problem since.
ReplyDeleteHope you get the problem ... er, licked ... soon.
Pee Ess: I think what happened to Beence is called collateral damage ... ouch!
ReplyDeleteAy!ay!ay! Hermano, this is worrying.
ReplyDeleteOne time, a cat Dinah knew was like Ikaika's sister and stress made the allergy worse.
We hope you are not stressed. Even referred stress is not good.Teach you yoomans to make stretch-a, like all cats can. They will feel better. (And you can have a good laugh.)
This is the Wooman:
ReplyDeleteEstorbo has been a bitey cat ever since I first met him, ten years ago. It's just who he is. Irascible. One must look at his eyes, ears and tail carefully to judge just when to stop stroking and to beat a quick retreat from the left hook or the fangs. Vince is the most gentle cat person ever. With Estorbo, I am the Decider. Vince is the tidbit giver.
The licking - it started last year, and started with an already present scratch. Lick lick lick then the scratch is small raw place that won't go way because the licking won't stop. Hence the clothes. When we returned in March we found a tiny raw place where his belly button would be, and back into the clothes. I took them off too early, and he licked again. It may be an allergy, but I doubt it. So we'll give it another ten days or so and see.
I saw a picture of a kitty with a knitted or crocheted "jumper" on to help out with the cold in England or somewhere. Maybe Estorbo would like a knitted "tube top" to go over his belly area.
ReplyDeleteOh dear Estorbo! You shouldn't bite the hand that feeds you...
ReplyDeleteFor summer maybe you can ask Marie to get you a cool cotton knit jacket - I think BLUE would suit you!
"Collateral damage"! ROTFL... Except the damage usually is rather unilateral...
ReplyDeleteOh well, makes me feel like I work in a circus. Around lions and tigers, one must always stay alert. Same around Dominican cats.
Estorbo, I hab beeg smile arn my face befar I eben reed wot you say! Bailey, he had dis beeg leeken problem too. I tink karm an' quite helps most, but eet's hard 'speshally eef you born dat way.
ReplyDeleteSi, ChreesJ ees correghd. I was born thees way. I yam whad I yam. Taghe me or..no...!DOAN LEAB me!!!!!!
ReplyDelete