Das Poot

I yam told than poot means paw een Afrikaans. When the Wooman speaghs Afrikaans eed sounds lighe people fighdeen'.

I yam so seeck of my red coad an' the orange short, I decide to pose' a peecture ob the beesneess en' ob my naked paw. I yam greepeen the table.

As my frien' and 'neep sopplier, Heem, woul' say: Hab you ebber really looghed ad your paw?

Tonighd the Wooman says to me, Estorbo?

I say, Wooman?

She say - Tonighd I med the Head ob the Cad Appreciation Society.

That's nice, I say: Show em the han' shaghe.

Whad han' shaghe? she says, eerreetable.

THE han' shaghe, I repead, polideboice.

There's no han' shaghe , you stupeed cad.

Thad's whad you theenk, I say. An' I know I yam blag bod you loogh como a part righ' now.

...

Hello? Wooman?

Eed's your aghsen', Estorbo. Sormtime' I fine' you har' to follow.

Tell me abou' deed, I say.

I yos deed, she say.

Gard. I roll my ojos.

Well, she says, to ged bag to the poin'...

You had a poin'? I ask...

Cad? She say - you wan' pelleds een the morneen' or nard, because I yam pearfectly capable ob depribeen' you ob sostenants!

Sure, I say, bod the Smoothman weell feed me.

Whadebber, she say. Can I feeneesh???

Por fabor, I say, I weesh you woul'. I need to wash my feed.

...I forgard whad I was goeen' to say.

Teepeecal. I doan' sorpose I cou' hab breakfas' now?

No. Eed's 1 am, Estorbo.

I yos thoughd I woul' as'. So, you goeen' to bed?

Yes, she say. Afthair I shower. You wan' to sleeb arn the bed?

I mighd...

I'll see you there, then.

Nard eef I see you for's...

Geeb eed orp, cad! Why mos' you always be so orbstrocteeb?

Hello? My name ees Estorbo? You change eed frarm Meednigh' por a reason?

I know, she says, the constan' carmbad ees yos exhausteen'.

So feed me.

No.

Thees coul' go arn all nigh'.

Fine. I'm goeen' to bed.

Fine.

Fine.

Whadebber.

Fine.

See you there.

OK.