Thees eemage corms frarm the webside ob Meess Heathair. Here eed ees een eeds oreegeenal conteghsd: and thad, my friend's ees an example ob prarper blarg Etiquedde. No steal nada frarm the blargs, OK? OK!
Mees H sent eed to the Wooman, por me. Muchas gracias! Neghs' time sen' feesh, OK?
I meessed the parade arn the 11th ob Augus'.... I was asleep. Bod I had a barbecue down the streed arn Paceefeec weeth my compadres, for a blarck pardy.
I hab nard forgarden the ole' days, leebeen' een a barx ad the bag ob the bodega. I hab leebed een Manhattan, Staten Island and Brookleen. I hab been to Miami.
I hab been aroun'. Bod there ees steel a lard to see.
The Wooman ees makheen' noises abou' leabeen me soon to beeseet the Main Man. Leabeen' me... Again. She says, Estorbito, fors' we mos' fine someone to loogh after you, feed you an' clean the leeder barx. Whad we do now thad Constanza has mobed to forgheen' North Carolina???
The Main Man says I shoul' leeb arn the roop an ead cicadas for five days. And las plantas? Who weel wader them.
You see whad I mos worree abou'. Eed ees nard a bed ob roses, my frien's.
Sure, cicadas for a few days, and a crunchy marmite thing here and there...
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