Februaree fourteenth, two thousand eighd...she walgh through the door: whad she say? Happy Balentine's Day Estorbo, here are some candied feesh?No!
How ' bou': Oh Estorbo! Eed ees so goo' to see you aftair two larng mornths...?
No.
Maybe: Oh, Estorbo, you loogh so byoodeefool...?
No. No, no, no.
She say:
My gard Estorbo, You are so FAD!!!!!
Eed's nice to see you, too, I say.
Meanwhile Tina, the new Wooman een my life (larng blarnde hair, blue eyes) por the las' two weeghs, ees steel packeen' hor theengs to leab. I wheesper to hor, Doan' goooooooo: staaaaaaaaaaaaay...She wheesper bag, Eed's no goo' Estorbo, we are yos nard meand to be togairther, we mos par'...
Sheet.
The (original) Wooman say to me, Estorbo: you hab a new farder.
I say, Who ees eed thees time?
Beence, she say!
Oh. I know heem. He broughd me feesh. Also I beet heem. He deed nard mine'.
OK, I say, so who geds costardy ob me when you spleet?
Estorbo! she cry, we are nard spleeteen'! Here ees my reeng. She show me. Preedy, I say. How many people died to make eed? How many han's charped arf?? Hey? hey? Hab you wadged Blord Diamon'???
Oh gard, cad. she say.
Thad's bairder, I say.
You eediot, she say, eed's an ole' reeng. 19th century.
When was thad? I as'.
Larng ago, she say. Eed ees the prardorct ob ordinary persocution, nartheen' onnusual.
Oh, thad's deefferent, I say.
Shall we star' again? she soggest.
Okie dokie, I say. When's deenner?
Estorbo? Fat? I can't believe it! What did the visiting witch feed you, butter? Or was it tuna? (Get it? Tina, tuna... Oh never mind...)
ReplyDeleteShe fed me sormtheen' thad made the Wooman go eugh when she cleaned my leeder tray las' nighd! heheheheh!
ReplyDeleteMan, I mean, cat, I wanted to send you fish, right? But then I remember how you had received salmon, SALMON, and the Woman threw it away. Now that scars a cat for life. So anyway, all I can send you is ordinary canned stuff. Think she'll let you have it? I'll put a bribe for her in it. That might work. Anyway, I'm so glad to have you back, fat or not. I mean, bien en chair, of course. Healthily corpulent...
ReplyDeleteSeesta:
ReplyDeleteI yam nard fad. I am blordy porrfeghd.
Ohmygard: feesh. Yesssss. Teen! Teen! Essept maybe you shoul' wride arn it, Pelleds: otherwise the Wooman mighd EAD.EED.
Doan'sen hor no bribe, OK? I yam tryeen' to teachg hor thad corroption does nard pay. Eed's a larng story.