blank'/> The Libe ob Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana: Me an' Jesus

Friday, November 9, 2007

Me an' Jesus

Thees morneen’ I yam eadeen’ my pelleds. Cronchee, golden, deleecious. I look orp ad the weendow, an’ whad I see? A bord , a forgheen' peegeeon, walkeen’ acrars the grabble arn the terrace to the weendow. He see me ronneen’, rosheen’ to heem, an’ he keep walkeen’, walkeen’... he is SMILEEN’ and walkeen’ and I yam rosheen’ and rosheen’ an he ees walkeen’, smileen’.

Who ees thees bord, I cry, an’ then I know the answer. Thees bord’s name ees Jesus (prounced como en Español, pleease: Hay-zoos, hokay? Hokay). I know thees bord ees Jesus because he ees walkeen’ eento the den ob Don Estorbo della Bodega Dominicana an’ he does nard geeb a sheet.

I look at heem. He look ad me. The Wooman open the door an’ say, Jesus, you waar arn the wrarng terrace. An’ Jesus look ad hor an’ say, Bod I yam hongree, an’ she ees holdeen’ me tighd an’ I yam stareen’ at heem weeth my mouth open an’ she geeb him granola an’ he ead an’ then he want to WALGH EEN THE HOUSE!!! He has reebons arn hees feed an’ also a halo. Then he walgh oud again.

Then she close the door an’ Jesus look ad me por five minutes an’ then walk slow away an’ look onemoretime ober hees shoulder an’ then fly slow away, y I tell you I yam sorree por all the bad wor’s I yab ebber said an’ I weel nebber ebber keeck my leeder oud ob the tray again por the Wooman to brosh orp. Madre de Jesus...

So now I know there ees a gard y my Meesers says he leebs down the blark arn the roop. So. There ead ees. I yam a cattoleec again.

My salutations an’ blesseen’s. May the peas ob the worl’ be weeth you,

Padre Estorbo


  1. I have a different version to offer. Maybe the pigeon was... your conscience. Coming to see you up close, looking back at you with the calm attitude of someone looking at themselves in the mirror, knowing it all. Had you attacked it, you would have brought bad karma on yourself, bad juju. But you aced it. Go in peace my son.

  2. You are beginning to sound like Her Indoors. She talks like this all the time. 'Don't scare the dear little dicky birds' (she says) 'For they are Angels coming to visit us'. 'Don't kill mice for they are also God's Creatures like wot you are' (she also says). But THEN when Jeremy came to live with us (Jeremy is a mouse Mr. Lennie brought in and who took up residence in the kitchen) she changed her tune. 'Hey Cats' (she ordered) I'm calling in rent. Please catch Jeremy for he is creating havoc in the kitchen and leaving his calling cards in the food cupboards'. 'No' we say 'He is one of God's Creatures and our friend.' The end.

  3. Jeremy?

    Jeremy Mouse?

    My gard.

    You cannard catch sometheen' whad had a fors' name...

    I once had a carckroach call' Eugene. He was my frien'.

  4. hhuwi: i bring in frogs from the garden, last summer at least 40. i am not allowed to keep and play, even though i don't hurt them. they get scooped into a plastic box, tipped into the shower for the remains of the night, scooped back into the box and returned to the garden in the morning. maybe is the same frog over and over? they J U M P, so exciting.

  5. Exactly Estorbo. Trevor and Huwi's Meesers reckons Jeremy is the next Messiah - maybe. Anyway we are leaving his destiny up to Her Indoors and she can stain her own conscience and soil her soul. We are whiter than white inside (come Omo) even though our outside fur is black.