I yam berber' beesy.
Mucho trabajo.
I yam stampeen' ebery thank you ledhair to Los Amigos de Estorbo...
(I yab many more frien' than the Wooman y the Smoothman combine'. Losers.)
Ees eesy to maghe stampa because my feed are blag. When I yam feeneesh' they weell be peenk.
I also theenk I weel star' to maghe adbice column. The ledhairs geeb me idea. I weell be, como si dices...? Agony Oncle...
You wride to me:
Deear Don Estorbo
I yab beeg prarblem, I need your adbice.
My prarblem ees, blablablabla, paraquararaquara, etc.
Please, whad shou' I do?
Sign'
You Adoreen' Fan
...
Then I reply!
...
You can star' to sen' me your prarblems.
No prarblem too beeg or too small.
Pee Ess:
Arn Sonday I weell be transpor' to Manhattan. Then to orpstade cleenec. So I weell hab sorm prablems, myselb. I weel theenk abou' your prarblems while they are microwabeen' me.
Atomeec keedy. Thad ees me.
Forghe.
Hugs to Marie and Beence, I mean Vince. Try not to worry.(HA) A leedle ear scritch orlso for Storbie, y goo' thoughds por nex' weeghe por ju orl.
ReplyDeleteGood Luck, Don Estorbo---you've always been an Atomeec Keedy!
ReplyDeleteHermano, I always thought you were a radiant blag cad, but now you will truly radiate! All will be well, amigo, no te preocupes! I also think you might just be onto something - an adbice column - brilliant!
ReplyDeleteDear Oncle Estorbo
ReplyDeleteAt last! Someone I can talk to about my problems. Today, my wooman and her not-so-smoothman are taking me to my hotel - again. I was there last weekend and now they are going away for EIGHT days.
How can I stop them going away and leaving me?
Yours in admiration
Bertie
Cat advice is fascinating. Great idea to have a regular column based on the experiences and thought process of a beeg, blag, Dominican cat. But will the Wooman give you enough time on the laptop?
ReplyDeleteGood travels, my buddy, and I hope you spend your time away sleeping and dreaming, and contemplating how tasty those birds just outside the window would be if they would just let you out of you luxury condo for 5 minutes. How many days until the arrival party? Eight? Must stock up on champagne.
Sending you a big dose of courage and hope, Estorbo. Lots of us will be rooting for you over the next few weeks.
ReplyDeletexoKaren (and Henry).
I second this, (Estrobo!) A big dose of courage and hope, bigger than the microwabe.
DeleteDear Don Estorbo,
ReplyDeleteWhile you are getting radiant please consider how I can make my slaves understand that I will not use a litter box? They went away overnight and left me in the house with mucho food, but did not leave the door open for me to go out. Since I do not use a litter box I found a nice bed - and not one that they sleep in! Why are they so angry and how do I get them to understand that they must be around to serve my desires and needs on a 24/7 basis? I will admit that this past winter there were some days that I did not want to go out I did use the litter box, but I will not do this except when I think it is ok. Simply because they must go to a "family" event is no reason to leave me alone overnight. And I laugh at the threat of the "pet spa" for I know they will never do that to me because I lost weight the last time they sent me there. So how do I train my slaves properly? I do have the one getting up at whatever hour to let me out, at least most of the time. Well, after 6 am anyway.
-Tino
Tino, it was an unusual circumstance, but I found a slave who wanted to 'rescue' me (pa-leeze!) -including having me sleep indoors. She found a kitty communicator to convince me that it was "OK" to use the litter box, inside. It worked. Now I am truly the Queen of Sheba. I have it all.- Baby. (oh, brother!)
DeleteHermano, our thoughts will go with you to the microwabe place.
ReplyDeletesending hugs and best wishes for your travels and the radiating.... and just want to mention ...you could do some paintings...and sell them... to raise a bit more cash. Have you seen the book Why Cats Paint? ...I bet you could do some great paintings ...... I wonder what colours Atomic cats paint? ....
ReplyDeleteHi Mr Storbie,
ReplyDeleteI am Montie, a black and white cat from New Zealand. Firstly, I send my positive/purring thoughts for your microwaving and recovery.
Secondly, can you tell me how to train my human better? She is okay, but how do I tell her that I can't live on the kaka food she gives me? I see your humans give you fish and chicken and avocado, and all I get is some dreck in a silver packet.
Also, she is very negligent and goes away from me for hours. Then when she does deign to come home, she won't let me sit on the benches or sleep on her pillow!
She says I should be b* grateful, that I was a street cat and she rescued me from the SPCA. I say I rescued her from being a lonely crazy lady!
Storby, I am 15 and the human will not keep fresh kibble in my bowl. I think that dry kibble that has been in my bowl more than an hour is stale. There is usually 1/4 C of food in the dish. I demand new kibble by clawing at the best chair, knocking things off tables, crying and beating up the dog. The human tries to ignore my pleas. What can I do? The kibble is kept in a sealed container in a cupboard. Do please advise as to how to either get human to obey,or how I can stop being so OCD.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Your humans will be quite lonely while you are in Manhattan. Please do well and come home feeling better! Your Amigos will also miss you.
Amigo! Travel safely and enjoy your spa (and microwave) vacation. Will be thinking of you and your humans. You'll feel better soon. And tell the Wooman, enough with the cards already. Amios help amigos. Right? Right.
ReplyDeleteCan't improve on webb's truism that friends help friends..
ReplyDeleteVaya con Dios, Storbie.. We're pulling for you!