blank'/> The Libe ob Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana: The terreeble eendeegneety ob my libe

Monday, September 17, 2012

The terreeble eendeegneety ob my libe

I yad a ba', ba', BA', BA' weeken'.


I was wash'.

Een the bath.

Weeth organeec senseeteeb shampoo.

All because ob a leedle messonderstandeen' weeth my forgheen' leeder tray whad ees abou' the size ob a hamstair's matchbarx. Har' to maneuber.

Forgh. The Wooman put me een the shower/bath. She close the door. She ees eenside there WEETH me. Y then she begeen' to feell the bath weeth WADHAIR! WARM WADHAIR.

Led me oooooooooooooooud, I beg.

She splash me. She sopa me. She reense me. My, you hab skeenny legs, she say, an' she GEEGGLE.

I cry. My eyes are blag.

Ad las' eed eees ober. She open the door y I maghe yompa y I sliiiiiiiiide across the floor. My pads hab no greep. She wash' away my tread!  She close the door an' now she dry me weeth the yooman towel.

I swear badwor's...Wor's yu hab nebber read here.

Then she puts me ouside y my worgh begeens. My toes are wed. Deesgosteen. I shaghe my feed. I leeck. Leeck Leeck Leeck. Forebber.

Thad nigh she say to me, Estorbo you are so shiny y saft, I migh' wash you more arften.

Keess my forry ass, I say.

Oh, Estorbo she say. You are soch a bad temper cad.



To eemprobe my mood she eenforms me that I yam goeen' to the bed por a check orp arn Thorsday. Dr Slade want to know abou' my typhoid y how abou' my keedneys?

My happiness ees carmpleet.


  1. aaaaaauuuuuuugh!!!

    Time to run away with your caddle.

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. She WASHED you? That's one brave woman.....

  5. You did not fight and struggle and swear enough. At our house it takes TWO to even wash my booty off. Never tried to give me a full bath. Even then, I bide them.

  6. I am so sorry, hermano. But Simba is right, you gotta fight! The humans have never given me a bath *shudder* and never will. It takes two of them to brush me and clip my claws, but I exact a price -- blord and cheeken.

  7. Oh Estorbo, I feel for you. Bath and the Vet. What else could go wrong? (Remember things come in threes.)

    (Snort, hilarious laughter, I can just view the mayham!!!) Off to rake grass. My penance for laughing.

  8. Kiss it is right! Is the wooman's life insurance policy up to date?

    BTW, this might be a good time for a casual stroll over to the neighbor cat's terrace, Coco, whatever her name.

  9. Hey Storbie, a kleen cad ees a nize cad.
    Ged ober eet! Da Wooman takin good care ob yu!

    Maghes me theenk my 2 cads cud usa bad too! =^..^=

  10. Its all because she loves you....

  11. Hola! ay-ay-ay, hermano! The Secretary has never bathed us, but we have heard such tales (Rusty told us)and can imagine your disgust.
    Good luck with the ved!

  12. I am not a famous NY newspaper, but I love you and your blog so much, I wanted to share you with my readers. I have posted a link to your very talented Wooman, Smoothman y you, the beeg blag cad at Practically Magickal on blogger. I hope you will be pleased Storbie. OmaLinda

  13. Oh dear! Perhaps a bigger leeter barx...?

  14. The wooman is fearless. My person has never attempted to bathe me. I've trained her well.
    I hope the vet visit is full of good news. Do not bite the vet, it makes them cranky.


  15. Hi Storbie, a parfumed guard-cat is good. All the soldiers on the roofs have his yearly bath as you.

  16. At least you did not get the 'latest' homemade version of bath-for-getting-skunked (thought she was a CAD!)- that bath turns you into a bottle blonde: peroxide.

  17. Pssst! Hey Estorbo, I hear that yur woooman is goin' to a festival with ... feeeeeeeesh!