Friday, May 25, 2012

Caddle Dribe


Sí, Sí, I know I know.

I yab been beesy. Berber' beesy. Eed has been raineen' ebery forgheen' day y the weather ees warmeen' y my caddle are goeen' loco, ready por the spreeng dribe, bod bein' wash' frarm their grazeen' groun' ebery nighd... I yam stress'. I yab to go downstairs y rescue them frarm the gotthair before they are engolf' een the Nuebo York sewage seestem.


Y while I yam tryeen' to maghe strategize, the Wooman, the Wooman maghe bacuum een the aparmen'! WhyporqueWHY? I cannard carncentrade weeth thees terreeble sorckeen' death noise. I flee to the terrace.

(Beetch)

Mornday ees Memorial Day. Forghe: Porque thees ees the day when the caddle moss be colleghded an' mobed to their sommhair grazeen' arn whad the Yankees call Gobernor's Island. Agtually, eed ees called Mesa Verde (ees nice y green). Ees deeffecol'. Ees water eenbetween y the raf' I ordair arn EBay ees nard so, como si dices?...buoyan'. I yam afrai' eed maghe teep een the meedle ob Bottermeelk Channel when a beeg boa' goes pass. The watercab dribers are terreeble. My caddle weell drown. I weell ged wed.

I yab pawed een a peteetion to the yoomans to pleeaseporfabor maghe escor' weeth police boad or we weell nebber maghe eed, bod they yos loogh ad me say, Yes you can. 


Forgh. I yam gedddeen' too ole por theese. Ebery year the same theen'.

Porhaps eef you stan' weeth me, we can persuade the masters ob my uniberse to taghe me serioosly, y probide safe passage por the Crosseen' ob the Caddle.

Sí, se puede!




(Does anyworn hab Rod Steiger's phone nombhair? Oh, he's dead? HE'S DEAD??? You are keeddeen' me! ...forghe...eed's goeen' to be a torf weeken')

9 comments:

  1. Estorbo, mi fin de la semana's nard going to be any grade shaghes eithair. Mi hijo, mi bebecito ees un High School sophomore an he mos estudiar por todos la weekend. I expec there weel be some floggeen an wheedleen eenbolbed. Finals are next week! El tiempo es ob the essence, como you y su caddle dribe!

    I weesh you buena suerte een your effords. We should reconbeen a las Viernes to deescuss our essperiences...

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  2. Stress indeed, hermano. Maybe you can find some CFDs (carckroach flotation debices) on eBay. I wish you well on your weekend adventures!

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  3. I am laffin so hard, I don't even know what to say. I know it's serious and I hope it all works out. Still, I am laffin.

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  4. lo que dice denise! harharharharhar. ai, eres the cad ob constand sorrows!!

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  5. Ad thees momend eed sorghs to be ju hermano. We hab almos' no rain een Oreelia, so eef we carn hab sorm ob jurs both our prorblems weel be solbed , jes?

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  6. Estorbo, I theenk you are ridgh, you are getting older. Do I see grey hairhs on your back and in your ears. No insult! You look sooo disteenquished you handsome cad.

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  7. Estorbo,
    First, you are not getting older you are getting better. So sayeth Tino.
    Second, Tino believes that your Caddle will have no problem surviving the caddle dribe. He would like to direct your attention to the pony penning at Chincoteague, VA held the last Thursday of July each year. Perhaps your people will take you so that you can get pointers. Mrow.
    --Tino

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  8. CFD's, that's hilarious Ikaika!

    Storbie, great shot of you between the chimneys...

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  9. I see the carckroaches floadeen arn their leedle baghes weethe their leedle CFDs baghestrogheen for orl their worth....jajajaja

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