Saturday, September 3, 2011

Arn the roop afthair the storm


I yam sorry! Ees berberhar'. The Wooman. She ees always tybetybetybe ad thees carmpudehair. No chance por Estorbo to do whad a cad's garda do, you know? Lighe orpdade my forgheen' BLARG! I start my blarg fors' ,you know. She gard the idea frarm me. 

Irene, she came, she wen', was boreen', lighe beeg storm bod no thondhair. I yam nard afrai' frarm thondhair. Was ween', morch ween', y thad made me loogh orp ad the skylighds an' say, Whadtheforghe? a few time'...

Now I yam bag arn the roop, y I ade my emergencia rations already, y I use my shelter leedhair, y now my caddle hab all lefd the roop. P. P...roopffffffffffffffffffffffffff. Ees har'. (The Smooth man has eessues weeth my prononciation.) So, I yam no longhair a rooptarp gaucho. Where hab all my caddle garn? The Wooman say they blow away.

Bod: I deed cadge a cicada. Myeeee cicada! Green, the bes' flabor. I ade eed. Was muy delicioso! Que rico...the Wooman made a mobie ob the meal bod she say I cannard pose' eed because PEDA weell be angry. Who ees he? Eed was myeeee cicada, nard PEDA's cicada.

So, afthair patrolleen' the roop een bain por days por my larst y meesseen' caddle I deed fine oud Worn New Theen': Ees a POOSSY leebeen' arn the order rooptarp! She ees blag! Name ob Coco...Serious. Bod I cannard beeseet, ees no connection between roops. The yoomans ob Coco wabe ad os worn day, an' say to the Wooman, How are las plantas afthair the horricane? The Wooman scream bag, FINE! Then they wabe ad me, and they peeck orp their poossy frarm their deg and hole' hor een the air an' I say, Madre de dios, a blag, preedy poossy, and they scream, Thees ees Coco! Then they yell, Whad ees your keedy's name? Y the Woomam  scream:  ESTOOORBO!

...

...

Whad? they yell.

Nebbermine, says the Wooman, weeth hor han's.

She tole' me she weell leab a node ondhair their door y tell them to fine' me here. 

Then they weell nebber led their poossy speaghe to me again. I know. She weel deescreeminade agains' me.


So depresseen'...

11 comments:

  1. Estorbito,
    Porque you theenk Coco the Keedy weel descreemeenade aghainst you? thees leetle display of laghe of confeedence ees nard becomeen of
    Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!! any girl cad would be lucky to receibe the attentions ob a beeg blag cad como se llama Don Estorbo. Doan you forgheet eet!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You will be her hero, Estorbo, do not fret so. She will adore you, and spend her days watching for you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Happy Day when we find out that you weathered the storm and that you are bringing us up to date. My darg loves to eat the crunchy cicadas too. I don't want to talk about it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. How can Coco or any pretty lay cad resist
    you, Estorbo. You are the MAN...I'mean the CAT Man!!

    PS, So sorry your caddle blew away. =^..^=

    ReplyDelete
  5. Discriminate? Against you? Oh Honey, she's not gonna discriminate, she's gonna fall madly in looove with you!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm not sure she's good enough for you, Don Estorbo. She let them pick her up and wave her at you? How much pride can she possibly have to allow them to handle her that way? I think you can do much better!

    ReplyDelete
  7. What a great new theen' to find out! A blag girl cad! I'll tell you, hermano, blag girl cads are the best -- I should know, I live with two of them. Midnight and Sgian Dubh (aka Blackie).

    Oh, y no te preocupes about your caddle -- they WILL be bag!

    ReplyDelete
  8. The wooman is berber selfeesh with the computer.

    ReplyDelete
  9. With a name like Coco, she may well be too refined to accept your colourful language, Estorbo. But when she sees your delicious tummy with the white sporran.....

    ReplyDelete
  10. Estorbo, you are playin' us my friend. We all know how guapo y macho you are. What wooman...I mean keedy could resist?

    ReplyDelete