Sormtheeen' bad happen' to me tonighd. I cannar' tell you whad. I cannar' tel the Wooman or the Man whad
I corm home farm the roof, maghe beeg howl arn the terrace, they open' the screendoor, I ron eento the room, y I yam panteen', como a darg, Panta-panta-panta, berberhar'. The Wooman maghe eyes beeg an' seet arn the floor weeth me an' say, Whad ees wrang, keedy, whad ees wrang, tell me! An' I maghe panta. She stroghe me, I start to porr berberhar' y the Man stroghe me. I yam porreen' y panteen'. They loogh ad me all ober and when they torch me I maghe the panta again, my mouth wide open and peenk. I can see the Wooman theenks I yam dyeen. Een thees moment I see she lorbs me.
The Smoothman looghs ad my badclaw, the worn whad the Argentinian bed broghe een the Eas' Billayge in 2003. The Wooman say, Thad's yos his badclaw. Bod the Smoothman, who has a brain, say, No, ees defferen'. So the Wooman loogh more close an' she see the claw ees bend sideways. Then she see blord. Estorbo! she say, you hab broghen your toe! Panta-panta-panta I say. I cannard speaghe. So bad.
They pour me meelk, I weel nard dreenk wadhair. I dreenk sorm meelk. I lie down. I yam nard panteen', bod my breatheen' ees queeck y my paws are sweateen' ligh ad the bed when I yam scare'.
The Wooman geds a new idea. Sormtheen' really scare heem bad (no kiddeen', I theenk). Whad eef he is poison'? She rosh to the carmpudehair an' fine emergency beds. Ees worn close. Oh, gread. Then she looghs orp poisoneen' seemptom' and try to decide eef I ead poison por rads, or por wile' cads, and looghs ad me por seizures. I doan' maghe worn.
Maybe he fall, they say. Maybe he ged storck. Maybe he fighd, bod we hord no fighdeen' when we wor eadeen' ou'side. Maybe the man een Raccoon House cadge heem, theenks the Wooman. My fron' claws are also damage', bod no blord. The Smootham feels my bardy and my tail y I start to panta again. They stroghe me. We mos leab heem, say the Wooman. He mos recorber frarm sharck, fors'. She geeb me more meelk, por poison, por calm. I rosh to the leedhair tray an pee lighe a champion.
Now I yam sleepeen' peaceful' arn the floor. No mas weeth the panteen'. Oh. Waid. How am I typeen eef I yam sleepeen'? I am a BERBER' clebber cad.
Ees a meestery. An' I doan' really speagh Eengleesh.
Whad happen to me?