blank'/> The Libe ob Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana: Bad nighd

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Bad nighd

Sormtheeen' bad happen' to me tonighd. I cannar' tell you whad. I cannar' tel the Wooman or the Man whad

I corm home farm the roof, maghe beeg howl arn the terrace,  they open' the screendoor, I ron eento the room, y I yam panteen', como a darg, Panta-panta-panta, berberhar'. The Wooman maghe eyes beeg an' seet arn the floor weeth me an' say, Whad ees wrang, keedy, whad ees wrang, tell me! An' I maghe panta. She stroghe me, I start to porr berberhar' y the Man stroghe me. I yam porreen' y panteen'. They loogh ad me all ober and when they torch me I maghe the panta again, my mouth wide open and peenk. I can see the Wooman theenks I yam dyeen. Een thees moment I see she lorbs me.

The Smoothman looghs ad my badclaw, the worn whad the Argentinian bed broghe een the Eas' Billayge in 2003. The Wooman say, Thad's yos his badclaw. Bod the Smoothman, who has a brain, say, No, ees defferen'. So the Wooman loogh more close an' she see the claw ees bend sideways. Then she see blord. Estorbo! she say, you hab broghen your toe! Panta-panta-panta I say. I cannard speaghe. So bad.

They pour me meelk, I weel nard dreenk wadhair. I dreenk sorm meelk. I lie down. I yam nard panteen', bod my breatheen' ees queeck y my paws are sweateen' ligh ad the bed when I yam scare'.

The Wooman geds a new idea. Sormtheen' really scare heem bad (no kiddeen', I theenk). Whad eef he is poison'? She rosh to the carmpudehair an' fine emergency beds. Ees worn close. Oh, gread. Then she looghs orp poisoneen' seemptom' and try to decide eef I ead poison por rads, or por wile' cads,  and looghs ad me por seizures. I doan' maghe worn.

Maybe he fall, they say. Maybe he ged storck. Maybe he fighd, bod we hord no fighdeen' when we wor eadeen' ou'side. Maybe the man een Raccoon House cadge heem, theenks the Wooman. My fron' claws are also damage', bod no blord. The Smootham feels my bardy and my tail y I start to panta again. They stroghe me. We mos leab heem, say the Wooman. He mos recorber frarm sharck, fors'. She geeb me more meelk, por poison, por calm. I rosh to the leedhair tray an pee lighe a champion.

Now I yam sleepeen' peaceful' arn the floor. No mas weeth the panteen'. Oh. Waid. How am I typeen eef I yam sleepeen'? I am a BERBER' clebber cad.

Ees a meestery. An' I doan' really speagh Eengleesh.

Whad happen to me?

18 comments:

  1. Estorbo, you scare me!See? This is why I would not let you go outside at night.Remember the night we heard something on the roof by the bedroom skylight and you howled to get out and "keel eet!"? You should not scare your yoomans like this. (But I'm happy you seem OK. Maybe the vet needs to give you a shot for that foot? )

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  2. Sherlock The NYC CatJune 24, 2011 at 12:31 AM

    Senor Estorbo...maybe you need to go to vet...eees unusual for us kittehs to pant...mebbe ur Woomen and Smoothman neeed to take you in fur a veesit to the vet. Ees not divertido, pero maybe es necesario. :(

    Thees link ees scary, mebbe u need doktor. Normally I think things are nuthin but this does not seem gud.

    http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2008/apr/11/panting-cat-may-be-in-serious-trouble/

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  3. I hope you will be ok. I imagine a scenario where you slipped and had to climb back up the side of the building, thus hurting your paws, and becoming frightened. But another animal such as a raccoon could have been involved. I hope you have your rabies vaccination up to date, Estorbo. Raccoons are bad news. Stay home for a while, ok?

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  4. Maybe a hawk or owl tried to get you?

    Anyway, Storbie. How you pee like a champion??

    But I'm glad you're home and in safe, loving hands. Stay well and out of harm.

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  5. Years and years ago, when my Rupert was quite young, he went missing for three days. We lived in the country, and there were foxes in the fields. I was scared for him. Then, on a Sunday afternoon, I was gardening and I heard something by the hedge. I looked up, and saw my little boy stagger towards me. He had dried blood on his face, and looked exhausted. I cried. I asked him how on earth I was supposed to look after him if he didn't stay near home. He just whimpered. I took him into the house and washed his wounds. It was either a fight or barbed wire in a hedge. For weeks he stayed close to my ankles, and was never such a confident little boy again.
    Stay near home, Estorbo. Take care. Let your humans look after you. That applies to all cats out there!

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  6. Estorbo, Get well real soon!

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  7. I hab deer een my backyawd sometimz dat scarez me. Perhaps juan of Santa's reindeer got wost on your rooftop an wuz abter you?

    Rowdy the Boxer.

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  8. Poor Storbie.
    So sorry for your scary mystery.
    This is why my amico, il gatto Federico Feliney and I are happy to live our lives indoors.
    Lots of windows, toys, food, sleep everywhere and safe.
    Hope you feel better very soon.

    Tizzy Cat

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  9. hijo! ten cuidado when you are oudside! maybe you haf fallen an' can hardily get oppp? de panta-panta makes our mamacit worry; she hopes smoothman will escort you to the bet. como dice sherlock de NYC, no es divertido, claro, bud eeven eef eet don' mak you enny diffrence, eet will at leas' mak the 'ooman feel bedder--aftair all, she lorb you!!

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  10. Let's see close-ups of the horrible wounded, already had too much, toe!

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  11. Don't know, but what a dreadful fright you all got! I hope you are better now. Please let us know soon.

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  12. of course, she lorb you. you're special. get well soon.

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  13. Outdoor cats don't last long in my area- SoCal beach canyons full of hungry coyotes, racoons, hawks, and bobcats- no kidding- 2 miles from Ritz Carlton & St Regis.

    Neighbors have lost kitties to racoons and I have seen hawks swoop and carry bunnies/rats off.....

    Supervise your pets or keep them inside.

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  14. Excuse me, but could you elaborate on "the worn whad the Argentinian bed broghe een the Eas' Billayge in 2003"? If this has been explained in an earlier post, I missed it, and it's berber intriguing to wonder if someone dropped a bed, made in Argentina, on his toe, or if there was an Argentinian veterinarian who cruelly broke Estorbo's toe. Please clarify.

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  15. Holy Sheed! Eed was nard fonny ad the time I yam sure, bud I cornfess I geegle sorm when i hab thees peecture een my head ob ju, the wooman, y the beetchkeety. Feelm ad eleben o.O

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  16. =:o Marie, you are a hero. ees true.

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  17. Ay, gracias eberybardy.

    Anne Boleyn. Story ob The Claw ees larng terreeble story. Ees dorble story ob badness.

    Was before I was dreenkeen' my pelleds een wadhair, por my keedney health.

    Was 2000 y two. Was when my Wooman was house seetteen' por hor frien' (ad the time, ees eben larnghair story, no frien's no mas), Meess Marly Reengwal', si, thad worn, een the Eas' Billayge:

    I gard seeck weeth the leedhair barx parblem - could nard pee. Blord, pain, ees terreeble. The Wooman tahghe me to the bed arn E 9th Streed. He as' my name. She tell heem Estorbo. He say, You know whad thees means een Spaneesh? She loogh ad heem, como, Why woul' I name my cad weeth a wor' I do nard onnerstan'? Yes, I know whad eed means she say, bod we lorb heem anyway. Ees rude wor', says bed, ber' streect. Whadebber says the Wooman, now feex my cad.

    She fedge me after 3 hours, while I yam catheterize (ees terreeble). When she loogh ad the bed hees face ees whide lighe ghost. Now I know why you call theees cad Estorbo, he say.

    The bed say I go crazee. I yom to the ceileen', to the walls, I escabe, I maghe attagh, y I eenjure my claw, so I yam bleeedeen. Theese ees the same claw, comprende? The bed was feeleen' ber' guilty y he theenks the Wooman weell Sue heem (who ees Sue, again?). The Wooman doan' tell heem that I gard thees eenjury ad the rooptarp where we are house seetteen', when Marly's cad, Lolita, the leedle black y whide beetchkeetty, maghe BEEG attagh arn me. I was weareen' harness arn roop because I yam then nard use' to roops yed y the Wooman want me to nard fall arf to my death. So the beetchkeetty Lolita make-sneak orp arn me and maghe attagh an' weeth all hor claws standeen' oud y I yam TRABBED by the harness y the Woooman een paneec pull me eento the air to ged away frarm the attagheen' beetchkeetty Lolita an' I ged soch a frighd, than now my beelly eees espose' to the talons of the beetchkeetty Lolita thad, y I yam forgheen' DEFENCELESS....hangeen' een the air, thad...I....pee. Een the air. Arn the head ob the beetchkeety Lolita. Een the essitemen' the towel thad the Wooman ees weareen' frarm the bath falls arf hor bardy an' she ees standeeen' there naked een the meedle ob the rooptarps of the Eas' Billayge, holdeen' me een the air while the beetchkeety Lolita maghes the attagh.

    Ees true story.

    I doan' wan' to talgh abou' eed no more.

    Bod the forgheeen' Argenteenian bed theenks he ees the worn who broghe my claw.

    I hade beds.

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  18. hahahhaha..... oh, boy.... that would have been worth a video for sure...... where is somebody with a camera when one is needed? ..... serves the bitch kitty right to get peed on.....

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