blank'/> The Libe ob Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana: Feeleen' Blue

Friday, November 5, 2010

Feeleen' Blue



Thees pose' ees dedeecated to Alexa. I doan really onnerstan' hor messayge (las' carmment arn prebious pose'), bod I feel hor pain. The Wooman is neearly seex feed tall (excesseeb, yes?) an' the only time she wear high heels I theenk she ees gonna ead Manhattan.

Speakeen' ob dresseen' orp. You see my prarblem. The reason por my larng, larng silence ees....

...

...


shame.



I hab had a terreeble weegh. The stupeed yoomans say their weegh has been terreeble, too. Yeahrigh'. All because I was leeckleeckleeckeen' my bag lefd leg. My arm ees nearly bedhair, bod I wash the leg an' now is small padge whad ees red. So the Wooman FREAGH oud.


She and the Smoothman wen' to the bed. Weethoud me, Gracias a Dios por small morcies. BOD. They came bag. Weeth:


A CONE OB SHAME. Por real.


Blue. Made frarm tarpauleen' or somekine' ob sheet lighe theese. They say ees bedhair than plasteec, whad I hade. They poot eed arn my head arn tie eed with whide bow an' I walgh an' go bompa bompa bompa eento their legs, the chairs, the copboards. They laugh teell they cry. Then they cry. Teell I fine' the bow an' ontie eed an' pooll eed arff.

Ha!

Then they torn eed eenside oud so I cannard reach the bow. Now I can read label: These season I yam weareen' Webstair Beterinary. You see the shame een my eyes, yes? I wan' Prada.


Then the Wooman fole' the cone bag so ees no more cone bod collar: OK, now ad leas' I can see. Bod I steel loogh lighe a forgheen' eedeot.


An' ebery time I mobe I craghle. An' when I sleep I craghle. Een the nighd I craghle so moch the Wooman dreams she ees walkeen' arn fallen leabes.

Bod I porr. I porr an' I steel play weeth the streeng an' I still bide.

Then came the Day Three: I DEFEAD THE CONE! I ween! I ween! I can reach my leg eef I maghe force and I leeckleeckleeck. Yee ha!

The Wooman see me. She nearlee cry. She taghe arff the cone. You are a clebhair cad, Don Estorbo, she say sadly: Be careful wad you weesh por.

?Que? I say. No speagh Eengleesh.


Then. The Smoothman go the carmpudehair. Oh Sheet. He maghe Google.

He corm bag. He say:

We can:

1. Poot streeps arn hees skeen whad tasde bad, lighe cayenne.

No, says theWooman.

2. Geeb heem blow-orp collar weeth air een eed, como un donut.

No, says the Wooman.

3. There ees a mozzle especial por cads...

NO! says the Wooman (I nebber thoughd she an' I woul' agree arn antheen')

Well, said the Smoothman (who I thoughd was my FRIEN'!), we can:

4. Pood short arn heem baghwar's, so the tail corms oud ob the hole por the head.

The Wooman theenks.

...

OK. she say.

I ron.

They fine' me. They poot me een short. Then they fall down laugheen'. Lighe hyenas nebber laugh. Lighe hyenas arn cragh, man. They cry. I porr.

I wan' pelleds. NEBBER led them see you cry.


Bod there ees no way por the short to stay orp. Eed fall down. The Wooman say she weel fine' me wornsie weeth arms y legs por los babies and poot eed arn me bag to fron'.

Yay. I hade my libe.


The Wooman say she weel allow my readhairs to bode. Allow, allow? You are MY readhairs, mine, mine all mine!

1. Taghe me to the bed to ged peels/steroids/newcone (pleeaseno)?
2. Led me go naked an' see whad happens?
3. Wornsie so I yam cobered head to food weeth hole por tail.
4. Your own breelliant soyyestions.

Corrently, I yam naked.

Bode eeen the poll een sidebar an' leab soyyestions here.

I cannard forgheen' waid.

Pee Ess, sorm clues:


My food has been change', ees nard allergy por food.
Anytheen' you poot arn my skeen, I weel leeck arff.
I ged Velcote sopplement por the eetchy skin.
I play every day.
I yab been to bed three times por thees.  Same ole' same ole'.

22 comments:

  1. You could try Vetericyn. Linda at
    7MSN Ranch blogged about it the other day and swears by it.

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  2. hahahahahha..... oh, sorry Estorbo.... can't help it...you are just so damn cute with your droopy drawers and your spiffy collar....

    has anybody tried some Vitamin E drops in your sardines? or anything else that might help itchy skin from the inside out?
    No way I believe this has anything to do with nerves ... it can't be...you are so laid back it is crazzzeee man... it has to be something to do with dry skin or an eczema type of thing... or maybe nerve endings close to to the skin.... hmmmm.... I wonder if anybody in your area does animal chiropractic or acupuncture? ..... I'm serious... there is a great chiropractor here who does animals.... and it seems to help with all sorts of things....

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  3. My cat was once troubled by itchy ears, which he would sometimes scratch until they bled. Sometimes they were red and much warmer than they should be. I suspect he had food allergies. I changed his diet, and in the meantime applied Cortaid, a topical steroid cream for itchiness from a local drugstore. He didn't like it, but it soothed his ears; they went from red to their normal pale color, and no more itching. As he got older and I bought other cat food brands, the problem disappeared. Perhaps that or something similar will help.

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  4. henry gets half a drop of "liquid derma-3" by sogeval with his breakfast. it "helps support healthy skin and coat in (dogs) and cats". maybe it would help don estorbo?

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  5. Just found 'your' blog. My dogs have food allergies and maybe that's it? Sorry Estorbo, but I laughed at your bloomers. It's hard to be sexy in floppies isn't it.

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  6. Hola! Hermano, I am not laughing.Dinah is "keeping an eye on" my thin patch of fur on one leg. She thinks maybe the Vet touched a follicle or nerve when he did my plastic hip operation.It does not hurt me, but the fur does not grow properly.
    You are still a very handsome black cat.(But those trousers? Not so much!)

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  7. Cats in pants, ROTFLMAO!!!

    How about socks? Or the cat equivalent of leg warmers? They might require a strap or string running up over his back (I'm concocting the idea in my mind as I type) to prevent Estorbo from leecking them off, but it would be less obtrusive than pants and shirts. I am a knitter... (with cats)

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  8. Wow, I love the picture of you rockin' the Elizabethan ruff. Estorbo = sex-ay!

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  9. yes, I did laugh at first - really, its the perfect look of disgust on your handsome face
    it seems there is not a perfect answer but to laugh
    the cone is not a good answer for a cat - dogs can be manipulated with cones but not cats
    i suggest OCD therapy (12 step programs are less effective than the cone) and possibly a gentle tranquilizer... it may help your relationship with the wooman

    i am sure your vet has ruled this out - but i would want to make sure you were not hiding skin cancer - i.e. mast cell tumors. my Guido Luigi Bambino could not stop leeking his - but there were wart like things on his skin - and they began to grow rapidly

    i remain a loyal fan - you have a story to tell so i read

    dayeen dayoud

    :-)

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  10. If only I had a solution. The cone of shame worked for our dog but cats are perhaps a little trickier....

    I hope there will be a solution. People around the world are laughing, I mean worrying about your poor, poor skin.

    xo ( don't hurt me) Jane

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  11. Estorbo,

    Ever tried Prozac? Sorry to say, this could be a feline form of obsessive compulsive disorder. My bird feather picks and he has OCD. I know...I can see you rolling your eyes at me, but stranger things have occurred in animals.

    Perhaps you need an hour with Dr. Phil! Ha Ha Ha (just kidding)

    Estorbo, you know how much we love you out here in bloggerland. You are such a fine feline. It sounds like the wooman has tried everything under the sun. Give her a break or the next option might be amputation! (I'm just pulling your tail, you know).

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  12. O my gard,I am ber' sorry, I yus' carnod commen' righd now. I carnod stop laugheen... soun' lighe hyeena! I yam try' ber' hard to be seemparthedeec but then I see yed anothair peecshure ob yor baghword short (sneekhair, chortle). I yam feel bad eber'one has soch a bad weegh. I hobe somone can helb.

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  13. I will warn you right from the start that you will probably not appreciate my suggestion but hear me out as this may work. There is a product called Gentian Violet and it has been around for a long time and is very safe but it will turn your skin purple and stay that way until it wears off...now just think about it for a minute, if your skin where you lick is kind of dark like your fur you might not think about licking it and if it itches then the Gentian Violet will probably help that too. It is used for fungal infections and yeast infections, not that you have that, and even used in babies mouths. My dog had a itchy spot and I put it on him and it dried up and went away but stayed purple for awhile. Here is the info for the woman or smoothman if you are interested.

    De La Cruz
    Gentian Violet
    I got mine at Walgreens for under $3.oo. I had to search around for it but it is out there.

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  14. Storbeeeee - ever heard gedoverid ?
    You do look cute in those pants though

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  15. My Monte recommends Dr Deva, who does holistic and conventional vet medicine.
    http://www.doctordeva.com/
    She might be able to help wi' d'lickin, without the cone of shame.

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  16. Estorba - I don't mean to get too personal here, but how do you..um...do your business when wearing pants? Or a onesie??
    Good luck big guy - I hope this clears up soon!

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  17. Oh, 'Storbie. I really am so sorry about all this. You and your yoomans have been through it, haven't you? And even though they laugh at you (such humiliation!), I know from experience, they only want the Very Best for their darling boy.

    I'm with the folks who suggested holistic vets, chiropractic and/or acupuncture.

    I'll also suggest a book, The Natural Cat: The Comprehensive Guide to Optimum Care, by Anitra Frazier.

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  18. Tell the Wooman that people are only voting for the onesie so they can laugh at you some more. I admit, it makes me LOL, but this voting isn't right for you!!!!
    I like the Gentian Violet idea. I remember that stuff from 60 yers ago and didn't know it was still around and over-the-counter.

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  19. You would have liked my dog ..... she took off her lampshade collar, took off the bandage on her leg ..... and took out her stitches!!

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  20. Poor Escorbo - how about a teaspoon of vegetable oil in your food. It helped our - I'm sorry to use this word - dog.

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  21. I missed voting, so I thot I'd offer this suggestion:

    http://www.dinovite.com/

    good for hot spots on dogs and cats.
    The onesie would make me laugh, but that's not gonna help our hero.

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  22. Hilarious pictures! Sorry I'm so late posting my comment 'Storbie but I was busy dealing with you live... And the comments are funny too. If only they had seen you in the full suit...

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