OK. I yam a cad. A beeg, blag cad. Ees obbious frarm the peecture, no? My full name ees Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana. Ees a larng story. I was born arn the Lower Eas' Side ob Manhattan. Een a bodega. Een a barx. I deed nard know my farther. I yab seence larst my morder. I yam alone een the world. Yessept por the Wooman. I also call hor my Meesers. She ees female yooman an' nearlee seex feet tall. Ees excessive, doan' you theenk? I yab leebed weeth hor for abou' seex yors, now, I theenk. I deed nard go to school so counteen' ees nard so good. We leeb een Brookleen, een Carble Heel, een a small apar'ment weeth a leedle terrace por me to ron aroun' een. I also hab free access to the roobtarps arn my blarck. No doan' freak oud, I weel nard fall off. I yam a cad, nard an eediot.
You mighd hab noticed my aghsent. As my tidle eemplies, I yam Dominican. An' proud. No fonnee yokes, OK? OK.
The porpoise ob my blarg ees to share my libe weeth you an' weeth some frien's and fans I yab een the world. Also I hope to meed more...I yam a correspendent weeth some cads een Soud Afreeca and een Eengland. Also one darg (he ees yesseption to "Theengs I Hade"). Also there ees a poossee een Nord Carolina, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, who I meess. Eben eef she ees a beet too orptighd an' ober-educaded. My mose' esteemed frien', howebber, is Ambrose, who leebs weeth his small staff een Cape Town, een a billage called Kommetjie. Hees full tidle ees Jasharvin's Ambrosius, an' he ees a Breeteesh Blue. I call him Beeg Blue. He ees nard, how do you say, lighdweid?
So, ees enorf por one day. I mos go. There ees a peegeon stareen' ad me through the weendow.
You mighd hab noticed my aghsent. As my tidle eemplies, I yam Dominican. An' proud. No fonnee yokes, OK? OK.
The porpoise ob my blarg ees to share my libe weeth you an' weeth some frien's and fans I yab een the world. Also I hope to meed more...I yam a correspendent weeth some cads een Soud Afreeca and een Eengland. Also one darg (he ees yesseption to "Theengs I Hade"). Also there ees a poossee een Nord Carolina, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, who I meess. Eben eef she ees a beet too orptighd an' ober-educaded. My mose' esteemed frien', howebber, is Ambrose, who leebs weeth his small staff een Cape Town, een a billage called Kommetjie. Hees full tidle ees Jasharvin's Ambrosius, an' he ees a Breeteesh Blue. I call him Beeg Blue. He ees nard, how do you say, lighdweid?
So, ees enorf por one day. I mos go. There ees a peegeon stareen' ad me through the weendow.
Estorbo - I usually do not like cats. However you, my friend, are changing my mind about cats. I think your exploits might continue to entertain me. I've put a photo of you on my blog to entice more people to visit yours. Don't worry, your Wooman gave me permission!
ReplyDeleteHey! A marnkey! Grade! Eed's a forgheen' zoo, man. Obbiously you hab nebber ebber med a cad. We yab brains. Thees threadens some persons. You hab, porhaps, a DARG?
ReplyDeleteMuchas gracias por makeen' a leenk to me. I lorf eed.