Home eenbasion

Yesserday my Meesrs larcked horselb oud ob the aparmen'. I heear hor walk orp the stairs. I waid por hor ad the door lighe I always waid. I heear hor pood down hor sharpeen' bags - tj tj tj. I hear hor openeen' hor han'bag an loogheen' eenside, sh-sh-sh. I heear hor say, Sheet.

I say helpfully, Eeeep?

She say, Estorbo, open the door, I yab forgarten my keys.

I say helpfully, Eeep?

She say, Forgh the conbersation, cad, could you please open the door...

I say, I can see the keys, they are righd here!

She say, Open the DOOR, Cad!

I say, steel helpfully, no Spicka Eengleesh!

I heear hor walk away.

I cry, Why are you leebeen me, Porque? Whad hab I done to offend you?

I heear hor open the trabdoor aborf the landeen'. I heear hor climb the ladder to the roop. Then I heear the soun' whad terrifies me: stompa! stompa! stompa! Workboods arn the roof. Poleesh carnstrarction workers! Help! [I essplain abou' Poleesh carnstrarction workers an order time, OK?]

I rosh to the bedroom an' taghe refuge behine' the fileen' cabinets behine' the screen. Swat team! Homelan' Secureedee! Help!

Frarm the terrace I heear CRONCH as someone yomps down frarm the roof to the grabbel. I heear squeezeen' noises lighe someone poosheen' through the slideen' door. I ron to the bedroom door. I canard stan' deed, I mos' escape. I yam trapped. I peep aroun' the corner ob the door weeth my wheeskers. I looghe.

Eed ees my Meesers. SHE ees squeezeen' through the slideen' door. Useless securidee.

Hi Estorbo, she say. Why ees your tail all florfed orp?

No spicka Eengleesh, I say. Geev me a double shart ob meelk.

She ees nard all bad. Ad nighd I sleep arn hor bed. Sometime eef she need adbice I geev eed. Yoomans are also quide goo' for reduceen' stress lebels ob peds. Eef you feel stressed you stroghe them a leedle, then your blood pressore go down.