Sunday, May 1, 2011

Mayday!


I yab been arn eenboluntary leab. You notice'? I swear to you, today, Sonday, ees the fors time een three weeghs I yab been able to aghsess thees carmpudehair!

The Wooman refuse to geeb me a chance. Beetch. She an' I mos "share". Como?

Fors, hor new carmpudehair arribe, then eed was sen' bag to Dell (dude!) then she use' the ole' worn ob the man, an' she swears so moch when she does thees, an' then she ees beesy weeth peectures an' stories por order people, een order countries, an'...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Ees ber' boreen' yes? An me? Me? DON Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana? Me! I yam tole', You mos waid, you do nard hab tarp prioreety.

?????

I yab FANS! I yab commeetments! Do you hab fans, do you hab commeetments. You doan' hab no fans, you doan' hab no commeetments! I wan' my blarg! I wan' my labtarp!

(Sorry, am channeling Neeck Cage een Moonstrorck, bakery scene...I yab been watcheen' mobies neghs door, through the weendow.)

I yab a resparnsebeeleety. People are COUNTEEN' arn me.

I cannard eben chegh my forgheen email! I yab leddhairs frarm people who theenk I am seeck, dead!

I YAM ALIBE!



To cope weeth the onbeliebable stress, I yam force' to ged high.


Arn tarp ob thees ber' defeecul' seetuation, the Wooman says the morgs are makeen' hor crazy. She say to hab more than worn morg, weeth deefferent peectures ob me,  she mos sed orp separate sharps por me arn Cafe Press,  an' declare eencome with taxes. She say, No way Jose. I say my name ees Estorbo, nard Jose, an' you promeese me I can maghe morgs. She say tough cookies.

I say, Are cookies como pelleds?

Ees har', har'. I yam embarrass. Bod thees ees my libe. Only worn theen' could maghe eed worse.

I coul' be a darg...

18 comments:

  1. Welcome baaagh! We missed you and can't wait for a morgh with your morgh. Sophie and Pam in Joburg.

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  2. Pobrecito! Have you suggested to the wooman that your fans would offer computer access 24/7 if you visited them? Just a suggestion....

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  3. Revolt On !! D.
    We meese you, meese you

    Oliver, Virgil & BleetNess

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  4. Glad you are Alive, D.E., and looking like yu don't have to wear a shirt, which is good. Sorry the mug thing is so complicated.

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  5. Hola, hermano! Great to know you are still thinking of us, your fans.

    So...this mug business is turning into a taxi business.Hmm...we will tell The Secretary to ask her friend(he counts beans, whatever that means.)if there is a way to make this work without taxis.Why does she need a big yellow car anyway?

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  6. Ah, Don Estorbo. Meest yu so much!!

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  7. So glad you are well. Have meest you!

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  8. Thank God you are alibe. I missed you!

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  9. If you were a darg, kitty, you'd have to learn how to pee on sidewalks. And worse. Can you do that? It's pretty extreme...

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  10. At last you're back Don Estorbo! Have another chew on the catnip. Never doubt your fans are waiting for your next post.

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  11. Hermano, you are the most tormented cad I have ever known. Nip on, my brother, nip on!

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  12. Oh Estorbo! The days, weeks and months keep passing and I wonder where you are. I don't need a mug, I just need to know what's going on in your life....day in day out. And I loved Moonstruck. If the humans are making your life difficult....just tell them, "Snap out of it!" And they will come to their senses, giving you priority on the computers.

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  13. I missed your post so much - it made me "estress oud". You look good in nature - inhaling herbs could be a good outlet for you - but won't help you when you need to be on the top of your game when squirrels come calling.

    sheet

    we meesed ju

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  14. Estorbo! Sheet man, ees goo' to see you. There ees a sayeen' thad 'neep weel ged ju through tines ob no mornee bedhair than mornee weel ged ju through tines ob no 'neep, or sormtheen' lighe thad.... so I hobe ju are habeen' a fine stress free day hermano.

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  15. Storbeeeeee ....I have been waiting and waiting and waiting. You stayed away too long and even if I am a dog/darg/dawg I like to converse with a cad/cat. We are short of cats/cads here and now the Raasbaas won't let me sleep on the cat/cad cushions. He says I am a MAN dog/darg/dawg. No cushions for me.

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  16. Looks like you need to remind the humans about you being the boss. As I tell the humans here "If kitty ain't happy, aint' no one happy" They just laugh-but one of these days......

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  17. dear don: we are furry glad to see you back postin' again, an' we share yer frustrashun at gettin' no help. we, too, haf a public ready to adore us, an' our mom is a big lazybonze. there is no fresh 'nip in our yard to help us, an' even if there was, we ain't aloud to go outside! we hafta wait until she finely gets offa her big fat culo an' open up the freezebox (which is the only place she can hide it frum us--bwahahahahaha) an' dish some out. if you efur decide to haf a revolution ofur bein' denied help by yer humans, kin we please join up witchoo??

    thanyewberrymuch! yer furriends,
    ed, nitro, xing lu, an' igmu

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  18. Hi, Estorbito, what a big trauma!, ideal inspiration for a Bergamn swedish film!!! I love exagerations!
    yes, the fans chequeamos tu blog and... nothing! Dónde está the most guapo cat? WELCOME back,amigo!

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