Noo Year ees too moch pressure, man. Eberyone say you mos' make-a pardy. Parp champagne cork. Throw streamers.
Porque? Why? Essplain to me!
Ees one sorounded by one's lobeen' friends an family?
No!
Does one hab feesh?
No!
Deed anyone pool streeng?
No!
Ees there a friendly poossee to hang oud weeth?
Nard one!
Eenstead, the Yooman who ees suppose' to lorf you, an who hole's you when she need to coddle sometheen' sarft an' forry, an' who says Thank Gard por you Estorbo...she goes AWAY. She leabs. Depar's. Deesappears. An' stays there!!!
Does she send teecket?
No.
Does she mail feesh?
No.
Does she leab Chreestmas presen' por me to tear open weeth expectand claws arn Chreestmas Day.......?
No.
No. No. No.
Sheet.
I know she weell carm bag. She always does. Bod I yam telleen' you: NEBBER again. NEBBER. Read my leeps. The neghs' time she go, I go too. I am nard the cad who walked by heemself. I walk weeth someone. I lighe company. I yam Latin, man. Nard forgheen blordee Anglo-self -sofficient-Saxon...I need libe, company, action!
...and FEESH.
I cannard waid to see thad Canadian again. He knows how to tread a man.
You WILL get a package, Bobo, when the woman comes back. Dis-moi, en ton âme et conscience, sans avoir peur de me choquer, do you prefer tin sardines à la Italiano, with garlic and lemon, or shark fin flavored?
ReplyDeleteOh. My. Gard.
ReplyDeleteFeesh.
Plain. Sardines con nada mas, por fabor.
No spikka French.
Send teecket to Canada???
Now, Estorbo, your last sentence has me a little worried. Would you care to rephrase? ;-)
ReplyDeleteFelices something or other hermano. Enough with the negative vibes already (we have been watching Kelly's Heroes. By next year you will have forgotten and who knows??? You may not be alone! May you be surrounded by fish.
ReplyDeletexx
Beence: teecket por me to emegrade to leeb weeth Breege.
ReplyDeleteLennie an Sollie: muchachos, I yam nard always Orp, you know. I yam nard a porky, cheeper cad. Also I lighe warm wairder.
Si, my mood weell change. Bod when, when?
No Estorbito, the last sentence of your post! ;-)
ReplyDeleteBeence...would I care to rephrase, "...he knows hw to teard a man?"
ReplyDeleteNo! I lighe ead.
=^\/^=
Sheet.
ReplyDeleteEstorbo, happy new year from us, your long lost brothers. We have also been ABANDONED over the holidays, our Meesers she's gone and left us for a LONG time, she's in India in a tea shop in Darjeeling (check your map). No presents for Christmas, no champagne for new year. We miss you (and her). We have our great friend Clare looking after us, she loves us, we love her, but she is not the Meesers. XXXX Your broders
ReplyDeleteEstorbo, happy new year from us, your long lost brothers. We have also been ABANDONED over the holidays, our Meesers she's gone and left us for a LONG time, she's in India in a tea shop in Darjeeling (check your map). No presents for Christmas, no champagne for new year. We miss you (and her). We have our great friend Clare looking after us, she loves us, we love her, but she is not the Meesers. XXXX Your broders
ReplyDeleteEENDEEA?
ReplyDeleteEes she crazee? She leab you??? Como the Wooman??? They are both crazee. I feel for you my brorders.
I feel so negleghted: nobardy to tagh peectures ob me, dayeen, dayoud. My star has fallen.
Bod eed weel rize. Eed weel rize.
I hope she sendeen' corree een tiffinbarxes por you...
PS...Hola, Jane...you een lotus poseetion?
Hey! Estorbo! Why you been so quiet lately? Cat got your tongue?
ReplyDeleteDargs arn my blarg...
ReplyDeleteI need an iPhone, Man.
Oooooh, Bobo? Donde estas? I miss you! I miss hearing "feesh".
ReplyDeleteEstorbo, we missing you! She still in India, in BOLLYWOOD!!! But we get lots of treets, ham, catnip sweeties (mmmmmm!!!) from our friends who have not deserted us. We send you lots of love Estorbo, your abandoned broders XXXX
ReplyDelete