Cad bersus The Corg

Negotiations hab begorn weeth The Corg.

You sen' the Wooman. You ged the squeaky toy.

Forgheen' halfweets.

Chreestmas een Harlem

I yam sorrounded. There ees a man een thad house orp there! He ees MOBEEN' aroun' een hees room!!!

I yam NARD scared frarm the man, I yam scared he migh' loogh down y see me dressed orp lighe a forgheen' clown arn my terrace.

Happy forgheen' Chreestmas.

Gravitas

Prarblems.

I yam theenkeen' berber har'.

The Wooman deed nard retorn.

All day I yam lef' alone while the Smoothman worghs...

The Smoothman cannard starp eadeen' farndue.

A cad can only ead so moch cheese.

So I yam theenkeen'.

There can be only worn answer.

...

The Corg.

Agua.

Thees ees no way to leeb. I need an adeqhade watereen' hole'.

When are we goeen' home?

My new libe

I say to the Wooman: Wooman?

She say: Cad?

I say: When are we goeen' home?

She say: We are home, Storbie.

I say: No, we are nard.

She say: I know. Bod we mos 'stay here.

I say: Porquewhy? I meess the roop.

She say: I know, keedy, I meess eed too.

She say: Een the spreeng, eed weell be bedhair.

I say: Porquewhy?

She say: We weell seed ou'side more, y we weell fine' you a nice new borch larg to maghe scratcha.

I say: Oh.

....

I say: Are you sad?

She say: Yes.

I say: Me too.

Pee ess, I say: Theese ole chair you bough' ees forgheen' sleepery. Whad ees the beeg deal? I wan' a cashmere couch!

She say: We all wan' a cashmere couch Estorbo, now seed down y shorddop.

I say: I yam tryeen' to seed, bod I keep sleepeen' bagwar's.

She say: Then ged a greep.

I say: You ged a forgheen' greep. Eef I ged  a greep I weell maghe-a scratcha arn thees ole' forgheen chair y you weell shoud ad me. Again.

She say: Estorbo, you are high maintenance.

I say: Taghes worn to know worn.

She say: *&%%$* cad.

I say: &(^$&* Wooman.

...(to be carnteenued)

Harlem

Wha' the FORGHUE ees goeen' arn oud there????

Ees eed ober?

I was habeen' a bad dream. Dream' there was mobers. MEN. Trock. NOISE. MEN. Barxes. NOISE. Strangeplace.

Nigh'mare, yes?