Ad las'!

My CadCam uses a lard ob jugo, man. One treeple AAA baddery por every session. Ees bad. So Beence, my hombre, sent a rechargeable sed ob batteries weeth charghair. I can use then again an' again an' again an' again an' again an' again an' Ow!

Fors' I am feetted oud weeth my equeepmend: eed onsnabs eef I ged stork. I nebber ged stork.

An' the the Wooman tells me, Go somewhere essiteen'! Go to the neighbours, Estorbo, go to see the sonset, the dawn, the raccoon, the carckroaches, the peegeeons. Are you crazee, I as' hor? Do you theenk I wan' you an' 11 order people to know where I go, whad I do, weeth wheech and to whom? No! I yam an artees'...I loogh ad form, stroctchair, mood.


I call theese: Forebodeen' Sky ob Eell Omen

What? No! eed's nard forgheen' sushi, eeds' art!

Red Wall Reflecteen' my Honger

The Feeg: Desolade Seelhouette of Forbeeden Fruid

Thank you very moch. Si, I know, your chile' coul' do thees. Bod the meaneen', the years ob esperience, the relleenquisheen' an' then olitamade dissolution ob teghnique...no, only a Master ees capable ob thees. An' thad Master woul' be me.

Miaow

I woghe the Wooman yos before 2am. Porque? I was hongree. She tole' me to go bagh to sleep. Then she had a fighd weeth the mosqido ned. Then I woghe hor at 6am. Why? I was more hongree. She stombled oud ob bed.

She say, Sheet! I say: ?

Then I say, You hab dorn eed again, haben't you?

Yes, she say, I hab. Sheet.

You hab ron oud ob pelleds again, hab you nard?

Si, she say, I hab. Doan' worry.

Do I loogh worry'? I as'...

She open the corpboard. She open the drawer. She make-a click soun'.

WHAD?????

She starts to open a teen ob ....FEESH! Toona. For humans. Frarm Spain, een arleeb oil.

......! .......

Eed ees a dream. I peench myself. Ees deefeecolt. I hab no opposeen' thombs. I steeck myself weeth a claw. OW! I yam awaghe. Eed's real.

Ugh, she says, Estorbo, 6am ees to orly to be smelleen' toona.

Forghedabou'eed, I say, geeb eed to me!

My Gard.

While I ead, she goes bagh to bed.

Tonighd? same theen'. Again she forgheds the pelleds. Yippee! An' you know whad thad means: toona for breakfas'.

I lorf the pope, man!

Las Plantas

The Wooman receibed some bolbs frarm the Wes' Coas' today an she onpaghed them thees ebeneen' when she came home. I helped.

I theenk I see a darg...


Thees bolb was named after me, you see:

She tells me eef I use the empty part whad now has leelly bolbs een eet por a toilet she weell keell me.

The End.

Happee cads

Cad arn a cool tar roof

My poind ob biew

She keeps telleen' me, Estorbo, Go! be free! Do sormetheen' eenteresteen' weeth your CadCam! She doan' realize I yam a ZenCad. I seet. I theenk.


The lacey leabes ob the rose maghe shadows...

These tar-painded cornair ob the roop ees so scolptural.

I reeally respeghd the angles ob thees tar-painded cornair. You shoul' see the order twenny peectures I toogh ob eed.

Downtown Brookleen een the ebeneen' lighd. I weesh I had a pelled weeth me.

Thees sky looghs omeenoos.

Maybe she has some more pelleds eenside...

She say, Estorbo! You are boreen'. Doan' you go nowhere? Doan' you remembair the time you gard larst an' I had to rescue you een the abando' buildeen' down [orp? I soggest?] the crazee fire escapbhe? Si, I say, I remembair, and I was nard larst. Afthair thorty seex hours you wor nard larst, she say ? No, I was nard, I say. I was medeetadeen'. You eenterropted me when you clime' down the fire escapbe and carry me arn your shoulder bagh orp to the roop arn the crazee fire escapbhe. Why deed you nard taghe the stairs?

I deedn't know there wor any, she replies.

So whaddayou gonna do? I say. I yam a cad. Ees thad a pelled onder the freedge?

Two Square Guys an' Three Cool Cads