Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Carckroach keelhair


Yos sayeen'.

My yoomans hab made corfew por me. No mas roop ad nigh'...Why? Een case I "deesappear", "fall down", "ged larst", "hord myselb"?...

Que?

Strange coincidence: two nighds, two carckroaches. EEN THE APAR'MEN'. An' who alords you to thees eenbasion? Me!

Nebber, ebber before we ged them eenside. Whyporquewhy? Be-cause, befoooooore,  I yam rancheen' arn the roop an' takeen' care ob the hordes. The yoomans can heear me ronneen' ober their heads dadadadada, There goes Estorbo, they say, seengsarngboice, geegle, geegle.

Dam righ', there goes Estorbo. I yam forheen' worgheen', man! Thees ees Brooklyn! We leab neghs to Raccoon House! Are you styoopeed? Ees a bermeen prarblem arn thees roop only YOU doan' know abou' eed because I, yo, Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana-heear-me-roareeeeeeep, I TAGHE CARE OB EED...

POR YOU!

Dios mio.

Led. Me. Oud.

Now!

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

The suitcase ees mine


OK.


Nobardy ees goeen' nowhere.


Eber again.

(Hab I tole' you abou' Masa Verde? NO?! Ees so eenteresteen'. I weell tell you....e-b-e-r-ytheen'. Bod fors' you moch wadjhe thees: Juan Miranda (Meester Steigher)  weeth his TERREEBLe aghsen' ees my new hero. Y Masa Berde - ees how he pronounec Mesa Berde....ees my my new Eldorado...Een Masa Berde, you can ged....eberytheen! Bod you mos' wadge whole mobie arn Netfleeghs. O-K?).

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Liair liair, pands arn fiair!!!!

 Seben (who calls a cad Siete, por fabor?). She ees a poossy.

The Wooman cheaded arn me!

She say they are goeen' away to stay weeth YOOMANS.

She corms bag weeth peectures of these cads~!

Me: Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicanaheearmeroareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!?

Whadtheforgh??? Am I nard goo' denough por hor? Ees my for nard blag enorf? Are my legs nard larng enorf? Whad abou' my tail? Does she theeenk becos I maghe panta wornce een my libe I yam a COWAR'? Ees eed because I larst my Claw (I deed, eed fell arf, sneeff)?

Has she no hear'? No decency?

She ees cole' as ICE.

Sisko. He is  mancad.

I need to know more. I am withholdeen' fabors, starteeen' NOW.

Weemen.

Friday, July 1, 2011

My roop


There was mucha gente een the apar'men' y arn' the terrace y arn the roop yesserday y las' nighd. My gard. Bod I lighe' them, y I pose' berber' professional een the peectures. Afterwor's we wen' to the roop y had a peecneec.


I yam only allow' arn the roop now weeth superbision.

Pffff. I yam nard a KEETTEN!


Bod...yes, I yam theenkeen, there migh' be bad theen' arn the roop, yes, Pappa Smoothman?

Maybe I yos stay here, neghs to you.
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Pee Ess: Eef you do nard know the story ob The Claw (whad I re-eenjure' the order nighd) pleease read the response to Anne Boleyn een thees comments.