Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Eschange bedween cad y yooman


So I'm lyeen' arn the floor ob the keetchen, eef you can call eed thad, nine an' a halb tiles een worn direccion an' worn an' a halb tiles wide...an' the Wooman looghs ad me, an' says, Doan' you wan' to go and shau-jua weeth the Smoothman? 

...

I yam nard sure were she ees goeen' weeth thees, so I yam silen'.

I mean, Estorbo, when ees the las' time you toogh a shau-jua?


....I canar' remain silen'.

I shau-jua weeth my tongue seberal times a day! I say.

She pay no attention.

The Smoothman walghs een. Pre-shau-jua. She says to heem, Thees cad was arn the terrace. He sad een all my parts. He sad arn my harleyharck, he sad arn my begonia, he sad een the rose, he sharpen his claws arn the WALL, an' then he threw orp the grass he had yos eaden and I deed nard ged there een time so he slimed the grabble.

The Smoothman loogh ad me. I loogh ad heem

No, there ees no poin' to thees story. Thees ees yos my libe.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Eenbasion!

Whad the forgh!?!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
Alort! Alort! Man the battle stations!
 
Brace por action!

Straighten the tail!

A-i-i-i-i-m... 

 
FIRE!
Sheet. Where EES he???

Can you see me now?

Oh, squeeeeeeeerel?

Corm an' play weeth Da-a-a-a-a-d-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y...

 
Northeen' weell escape me.

 
 [Squirrel]: Yee-ha!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Fall trend

I yos wanted to say thad I weell be weareen' my short arff the shouldhair thees Fall.

When I tole' the Wooman thees she said many badwor's. 

Soch bad language, I say, You mos' wash your mouth oud, I yam embarrass' por you.

=^^=*&!!*&!;%^$#ng cad, she say. 

She say eef I eenseess' arn thees fashion I weell nebber, ebber, be allow' to be naked again. WHY mos' you leeck the padge arn your arm, she say: whywhwhywhyyyyyyyyy?

Ayayayay. Cheell, Seester, I say. You know I yam Cattoleeckleeckleck...

You need sorm new yokes, Estorbo, she say. You are geddeen' stale.

Th, I say.

Dayeen. dayoud.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Man cad

I lighe the Smoothman. He nebber geebs me bagchad. Nebber lighe the Wooman: yadadadadadablablabla.

SILENCE, Wooman!

Eep. Always the eenstrorctions, always the rules, always the ideas. Can you nard be a leedle beed Zen?

Zen, whad ees thees? says the Wooman

Eed's como Leddeen' Go! I say

Bod eef you led go, Estorbo, she says, everytheen' falls down an' maghes a beeg mess.

Sigh.

Always you mos' tab an answer.

Can you led go of pelleds, Estorbo? she asks. Deed the fibe days een the copboard teach you northeen?

Si, I say, The fibe days een the copboar' weeth the bag ob pelleds taugh' how nice SILENCE ees. Also thad pelleds are golden, cronchy, deleecious, fragran', perfecdly roun', creespy, Dayeen, Dayoud!

Then why deed you beg your suppawrters to free you frarm the copboard? she say.

Because I coul' nard maghe stretcha eenside the copboar'!

Lighe thees!