blank'/> The Libe ob Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana: December 2009

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Weenter

Sheet!

Forgue!

Ged me oud of here! I yam goeen' to freeze my quarks arff!

I yam frarm the Domeeneecan Reporbleec, I yan NARD Canadian! Que frio, man!

I yam LEABEEN!

Bod nard before I maghe scratcha so I can KEELL YOU!

I weell KEELL the scratcheen' larg fors'!

Sheet!

Eed's me, I'm Storbee, I've carm ho-ho-ho-ho home! Led me eento your ween-do-hoho-ho ho?

Monday, December 28, 2009

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Canadian cads

The Wooman send me peecs ob the cads een Canada. They are crazee, man. They lighe the snow! She say they stan' ad the glass door (yos like mine to the terrazza) an' beg to go oud. The Wooman say eed ees so cole' she die when she go ou'side. Bod the cads go yompeen oud. Beence played weeth them weeth meenee sowball and they chaze' them.

Aborf ees Mees Saphi (que?) the tabbi cad. She ees nine mornths an berber' preedy. I weesh she woul' beseet Nuebo York.

Below ees Senor Pachito arn the righ' weeth whide starckeen's.

My forr ees geddeen' all florfy yos lookeen' ad them. Loco, man.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Nedfleeghs

Well, the yoomans mighd hab forghed arff eento the sornsed, bod my CATtorneys came through!

Nedfleeghs, ead my dorst!

Neko y Marzipan, CATtorneys ad law. Norn bedhair. Anywhere.

I yab yos worn question: where deed thees cads frarm the Meedwes' lorn to speagh Afrikaans?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

NAKED

OMGard eed feels good. I yam led oud ob the clothes onnhair superbision.

My forr ees groween' bag arn the shouldhair.

I lorf bein' naked, man. Who knew whad freedom we cads enjoy onteel the terreeble coads an' payamas wor pood arn os?

Yessepd...there ees thees strange felleen' ob shame.

Whad hab they dorn to me?

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Whad a weegh

Thees ees me een my recendly deceazed oudfeed, Numero Tres. The Smoothman attemt-ted to make some couture weeth eed an' eed died. So now I yam back to the baby clothes, 0-3 mornths, thees time, porque thees negh size does nard sleep an' allow me to leeck The Shouldhair.

Too morch eenpormation?

Forgh you too.

Si. I yam een a badbadbad mood. ' Melanie who was here arn Sornday nighd, weeth greeteen's an' geeft frarm Halloween, weetneessed my feeleen's:

I heess. I made howl-soun' when they peeg me orp. The Yoomans was morteefied. Ees how say? They say, He's nard usually lighe thees, he ees angry because ob the clothes.

An' the drorgs. Doan' forghed the forgheen' drorgs.

Clava-forgheen'- marx. Shorbed down my throad twice a day como a foie gras goosito.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

Meess Melanie brough' a berbery nice bag to deenhair. I thoughd eed was my presen'. Bod my presen' was a cad Dance-hair. Ees wire weeth animales attached to ead an' eed dances een your faze onteell you wan' to keell eed. The Wooman ees so bad weeth the camera (no talen' whad. so. ebber. Tros' me) she has no goo' peectures yed. She say' she weell try again. Whadebber.

Yesserday. So tired. Sleepeen' arn plaze mads. See? New oudfeed.

Tired.

Go. A. Way.

Now.

O.

M.

G.

WHAD EES THEES?????

Tuesday!

The Wooman corms home weeth sormtheen' whad STEENKS!

Que delicioso!

Led me ad eed. Ees presen' frarm lady weeth Moshroom Cad!!!!!

Escuse me? The shreemp ees orp there an' I yam down heer. Ged eed? Ees prarblem! Hello? Hello? Adyost alteetude NOW.

Thees ees fantasteec. Those Wheeskas snags are porgarten. Shreemp Shreemp Shreeeeeeeemp.

Sigh.

Borp.

I lorf Chreestmas.

Pee Ess: gracias Ellen!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

I yam a cad!

I yam nard a Barbeedarl!!! Taghe arf the clothes!!! I yam seeck ob dem.

...

...

...

No, waid, I deedn' mean eed, nard...no. Noooooo, nard the Onnattractreeb Grey Barx!?

I weell wear the clothes. They are byoodeeful: manly! I weell wear a blarnde weeg, anytheen'. Call me Barbee! Noooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Cars. Trocks! Noise. Darkness. Rain. Lights. Why are you doeen' theese! I am peeing lighe a champion! I yam dreenkeen my agua, I hab no keedney prarblem, nooooooooooo.

Papa? Help me.

I feel naked.

I howl, I heess, I pand, I waid. The lady bed shave my forr arn my shouldhair. I yam terrify she ees goeen' to poghe me you know where. I maghe a scene.

She geeb me peels to taghe, cream to smeear. Whad. ebber.

She tell me: Keep weareen' the clothes.

Sheet.

Papa...I mean the Smoothman, buy new new besd. Made...por...d.a.r.g

Mediumsize darg.

I yam NARD a forgheen' darg, OK? OK.

Thees ees me.

Dayeen.

Dayoud.