Thursday, November 26, 2009

The geeft ob the CATtorneys

Ees arribed por me ad the Wooman's worghe thees weegh, a beeg barx. Full ob peenk peanorts.

Address'...TO ME! Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana-heear-me-roar:

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

Frarm....Neko y Marzi een Arizona, the besd CATtorneys a cad coul as' por: when las' deed your loyjer sen' to you a geeft???

Below: Despide my oudfeed, I stan' tall an' proud! Neko y Marzi lighe me!!!

Especial por the occasion the Wooman taghe my preeson suid arf. Gracias a Dios.

Cheeps! Salsa to las' por a lifetime! Candy! Parpcorn! Norts! Pardeeeeeeee!

Bod then I star' to leeck an' the Wooman pood the suid bag arn.

Sheet.

I essplore the basket. Eed smells deeleecious. I lorf weeckhair baskeds. How deed they know?

I bide eed. Que rico!!!

The Wooman meexes sorm Margaritas. Eed's time to ead...

The blue cheeps are my faboureed: cronchy, yos como pelleds.

Gracias Neko y Marzipan y your clerk, Neil. You are bes' legal help een the Wes'!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Keeckeen eed orp a nartch...

All I need ees a beret an' a forgheen baguedde ondhair my arm.

The Wooman ees ad worgh. The Smoothman wen' sharpeen' por bebe clothes. Por me.

Dios mio. When weell eed en'?

All a cad wanted to do was wash a leedle.

Yoomans.

Ordhair cads

Sormworn has been cheeteen' arn me.

Am I nard goo' denorf no more?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Bioladed

...ees whad I yam.

There was some talgh een my carmments 2 poseds ago, abou' my "fichu", my "larkett", my "beeb".

Sheet. Couldn't you hab dorn me a fabour an' kepd your beeg mouths short???

LOOGH WHAD THE WOOMAN HAS DORN TO ME!!!!!


*&%*^^$#

Whyporque??

Todal oberreaction.

I hab small plaze arn my shouldhair, whad I yab been leckeeen'. Leeckeen' leeckeen' leeckeen'.

So whad? Ees my forr.

Bod the Wooman say eed ees open woun' (muy pequeno) and I mos' wear a collar. She feel ber' sorry por me (thees mos' be a Fors') and so she cort a sarft collar oud ob a Damask nabkin. The alternateeb, I yam told, ees plasteec collar or cadsuit.

Sheet.

She has poot Bactroban, ees South Afreecan antibioteec, arn the smallplace (muy pequeno) and thad ees whad I yab been leeckeeen' arf!

She says they weel Obserb me to see eef eed worgh.

Shordly afthair she toogh thees peec I heed the camera. Pleease to remembhair, I broghe the las' camera.

Obserb thad, I say.

Doan' forgh weeth me.

More bad news


Ay. Ees sad news. So onexpeghed. My brorder een Eenglan', Sollie, ees dead. Heer ees leddhair frarm Anne:

I write with sad news I'm afraid - neither Lennie
[Sollie's brorder] or Flora [darg weeth blarg] can face talking about it and asked me to tell you that Sollie was put to sleep yesterday after a very difficult three weeks of not being able to eat. Right up until the end he was perky and loving and still insisted on going out. I am amazed at his courage and at his spirit. The vet performed many tests and eventually came to the conclusion that the left hand side of his gullet was not functioning, maybe due to a recent trauma of some sort, and he was unable to eat. Unfortunately they could offer no hope of any sort of recovery except for trying steroid injections. I felt that he had suffered enough and could ask no more of him, and anyway the injections would not have helped the problem.

It has all been very, very sad and we weep at the gap in our lives. However, we also remember the way he filled the house and our hearts with his quirky and affectionate little ways.

Sorry to add to your sadness over the passing of poor Khedi with even more bad news.

I yam so sorry, Anne. I doan' know whad to say. Pleease geeb Lennie a leeck arn the head por me.An' i sen' beeg porrs to you. The darg weell be OK.


I yam a sad cad.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Sorm soyyestions

Fors' ob all, wadge whad you are sayeen'...I yam all ears, an' I yam tagheen' nodes.

Secon' ob all: why are you steell geddeen' papehair beells frarm CarnEdeesorn? I though' you tole' them no mas? Hole' them accountable!

Thor': Thees table ees clottered: eef you mos' receib Elle Decoration, pleease actually read eed and lorn frarm your bedhairs.

Fourth: I yab noticed thad fresh Nedfleeghs enbelopes are berber' slow een arribeen'. Thees ees onasseptable. I need new sorplies.

Thad's eed por now. Chegue bag ladehair.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Keeddy Leet-hair

Frarm the Nuebo York Times.

Dear Diary:

Early one recent morning, I was packing for the weekend. I would carry my luggage to work and not come back until Monday. But I needed to change my cat’s litter. I had to find a store in my Riverdale neighborhood that was open at 6:30 a.m.

I decided to run toward the shopping areas, carrying a small day pack, in the hope of finding an open store. And it was raining. I ran about half a mile until I came to a shopping street, but jogging up and back, getting wetter, I found all the shutters down. Turning to go home, I saw a brightly lit convenience store.

A man looked down at me from a platform behind the counter. “Do you have kitty litter?” I asked.

He looked questioningly at me.

“Kitty litter,” I repeated, holding my hands to represent a 10-pound bag, wet and dripping in my running shorts.

He spoke in Korean to a younger man, who pointed down the aisle, and then led me to the end. He reached up and brought down a small, white, furry stuffed kitten and handed it to me. Robert A. Miller

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Gracias


Storbie - please post on your blog that I am so touched by the response to Kehdi's departure.

When I met Kehdi, she was perched on the back of a big armchair in the home of breeders of Maine Coones and when she saw me, she opened her little mouth and said, loudly: Weh weh (take me)!

When I saw her on her last day, in a raggedy bundle just inside the front door, she opened her little mouth and nothing came out. But I know she said "help me". At both times, I did.

Kehdi's sad mom

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Loseen' carntrol

Sormtheen' smells feeshy.

The yoomans are eenterbieween' yoomans. To loogh afthair me. ME! Whyporque am I nard ad the eenterbiew??? Today was eenteriewed Mighe, bod all the yoomans deed was ead borghairs an' cheecken leebers. Sneeff. Deed they eben talghe abou' ME???

I weell nebber know.

I weell seed een thees part an chew grass onteel I yam ready to throw orp arn the carpet. I deman' to be presen' ad the eenterbiew to decide my own fade. I weell taghe carntrol ob my libe. Soch as eed ees. Pelleds.

Dayeen. Dayoud.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Help wanted

Eef I doan' ged a good cad seethair, I yam oud ob here!

The yoomans are goeen' away por Chreestmas, then they are bag por two days, then they are goeen' to Afreeca por...two forgheen' MORNTHS teell en' ob February (onless Smoothman mos' corm early por Greencar' eenterbiew)!

So we are auditioneen' cad seethairs who weell leeb een, or a cad seethair where I go an' leeb. Oh man. Ebery year the same theen'.

I yam cude!:

Loogh ad my harbies: aborf: Yompeen'.

Below: Makeen' scratcha.

I can wash weendows.

I guard the pereemeet-hair agains' peegeons.

I yam sorbeillance.

I yam: Don Estorbo de la Bodega Dominicana!

Een retorn you ged:

My cormpany.
My keesses.
My sharp claws.
My boice.
My pelleds (weeth agua, por fabor!)
My leet-hair.
My allowance.
Your allowance.
Nice presen'.

Appleecations being taghen. Or referral to Someworn muy fantasteec. Pleease leab carment or email me direc'. Or email the Wooman, who weell, no doubt, tell you abou' my less attracteeb qualeetees. As eef.

marieyviljoen(ad)gmail(dart)com.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Bag een time


Een the begeeneen'...een case you deedn' know.

I started the blarg two an' a halp yors ago. The wooman came bag frarm Afreeca so depress' I had to deestragh myselb. She was makeen' me crazee. Yoomans. All you need ees pelleds. An' eben THOSE are nard abailable when you need them. I'm yos sayeen'.

Now I hab to fighd hor arf the carmpudehair. She gard the blargeen' idea frarm me. Teepeecal.

Bod tonighd she and the Hermano gabe me smallpieces lambchparps, so ees OK.

Keess the worns you lorf. Especial eef they hab forr.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

My terrace

The Wooman says to me, Estorbo, I lorf you.

I say, I know.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Kehdi 1993 - 11/02/2009

Frarm the Wooman:

Very sad news from Cape Town today. My mom called, a couple of hours after landing, to say that she asked my dad to take Kehdi to the vet, to be put to sleep. Kehdi has been frail for a long time, but eating. She had lost her sight a while ago. She did not recognize or respond to my mom at all when she returned home today from her trip to New York, and it was very clear that her physical condition was not one in which she could continue to live with any comfort. When I can, I will write a more fitting tribute to this wonderful little talking cat. She was small, but unforgettable. My poor mom couldn't be with Kehdi these last two weeks, and I know that she was very worried about her, and knew this decision was not far off. But so soon? This is not good news to come home to.

If any of her admirers would like to send a note to Kehdi's Ma, I will send the mail address. Please email Estorbo at estorboloco(@)gmail(dot)com.