Friday, June 27, 2008

Recargneetion, ad las'!


Meess 60goeen'arn16 has geebeen to me an awar'. Muchas gracias!

Estorbo, have you lost something?


I doan' know whad you are talkeen' abou'...Thad looghs lighe my camera lyeen' arn the roof. I doan' know how eed gard there! I deedn' poo' teed theer. Eed was the weend. The rain. They blue eed away. Nard me, no Sirree. Why woul' I lose soch a precious obyeghd???


Sunday, June 22, 2008

Orp all nighd

Eed was crazee, man.

Thees carckroach was fast an' mean! I caught heem arn the rooftarps an' broughd heem home to the Wooman who said sormtheen' lighe:

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Estooooooooorbo, ou'side, now!!!, and slammed the door een my faze.

Whad. bad. manners. Ongradeful, deesrespeghdfool...



I led eed go so I coul' chaze eed.

The hont lasted por hours. Soon eed lay steel and was berbery boreen'. I cried to corm eenside. Carckroach leeps, she called me, and kepd the door close'.

Today I was so tired I had to sleep por more than my usual 18 horas.



Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Who ees Teephair?

...an' whad ees she?

A keedee? My Wooman ees takeen' peectures ob an order keedee?? Hey!

She leebs arn Larng Island (Wrarng Island, say the Wooman) ad Leuthardt's Norsairy where ees bein' grown fruid trees and booshes. She cadges the rattas and rattons. She ees a worgheen keedee. Bod she LORFS yoomans.

Eef you are a yooman, she weell corm ronneen' eef you cry, TEEPHAIR! here she ees ronneen' through the blueberry booshes.

She has blag feed, como yo. An' a preedy smile.

Here she ees ronneen' again. Blordy easy cad.

You woan' cadgh ME roneen'.

I theenk the Wooman ees een lorf. Sneeff.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

My wonnerfool day, OK?

The Wooman say, Estorbo? I say, Jhes? I mean, Si?

I mos' brosh you, she say.

OK, I say, thees I lighe: especial weeth the bluebrorsh frarm my brorders. Yos you hab to know when to starp, OK?

OK, she say. Bod you are berbery hairy.

Starp! I cry!: I feel eed een my bones: I yam gone-a heet you!!!



Dios mio. I hide. Go zoom yourselb.

OK. Time to go oud.


Yom. Grass!

More grass!

Yom!

Why ees all thees sheet here, I as'? Thees ees a peeg sty! How can I be esspeghted to enjoy myself een the fresh air weeth all thees mess?

Shortorp, cad, she say: I yam gardeneen'.

Okie dokie, I say, then maybe you know, you need a hose? To water las plantas (byoteefeec smile)?

Hab you close' the DOOR??? I wan' to corm een! Thees fresh air ees keelleen' me!


Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Hello?

Could sarmbardy pleease torn thees theen' arn? I yam melteen' ober here!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Sheet


The Wooman is goeen' awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
I heear hor makeen' arrangemends. The Feeder came oud and she tested eeds badderies. She as' Constanza to say hellow Saturday an' Sonday. She as' neighbour Shannon to say hellow Friday, Monday, Tuesday. Neighbour Shannon has...one, two, three poossies: two blag. So she ees OK. She say she weel play weeth me. I woan' play.
Why, why whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? She tells me she ees goeen' to Canada to fedge feesh. Why nard feesh frarm US, I say? They no gard papers, she say. You are fool ob eed, I cry: feesh no gard papers, they weell ged wed! They are warderproof, she say. Cowpoop, I say!