Friday, May 30, 2008

Pardy time

Whad has the Wooman done to my precious drogs??? I most darcumend thees.

She has mordorred them! Cot them leemb frarm leemb. Eghsoreeaded them (feegure eed oud)!


Hmmm.

Hmmm. They smell, ...como si dice? Ah yes, I mean si: eggsqueezaid...

Rrrrrrrrrriaow!!!!

Oh Mamma.

Escuse me. I need sorm preebarcy.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Men and Cads

Pleease to see my frien' Mess Kedi an' one ob my faboreet yoomans, here.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

My outdoor libe

Eeen the yongle...


WHO ees thad han' some debil???



My gazebo.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Roameen' my rooptarps

Whad ees the Wooman doeen' arn my roop?

Maybe I'll join hor...

Sormtimes I lorf hor.


My keengdarm ob blacktar roops an' cheemnees and satellite deeshes. My roop ees the seelber worn.


Can you heear me niao-iao-iao-iaoooooow?

Geeb a cad a breaghe

Art by Beence

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Two harbies

Harbie Numero Uno: al fresco meelk-dreenkeen'...


Harbie Numero Dos: Sleepeen'...I am qui'e goo' dat thees one.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Cleeck






Cartoon, ahem. I mean the deeper pheelosopheecal eenner workeen's ob a cad's mine': Beence

Sunday, May 18, 2008

My alleged libe: take two

Ow. My negh horts.

The table ees a mountain.

Whad ees the Wooman doeen'?




Deeggeen' een hor garden. Dayeen, dayoud. I theenk I'll taghe a nab.




A mosqito ned een Brookleen. WTF. 




Ad las'. The roop. 

Flowers. Boreen'. Maybe ees hideen' a cicada eenside?



So you see. She maghe me wear the camera an' I refuse to go anywhere. I yam a patiend cad. I can outlas' hor. Ad nighd I steell ron away to prowl the rooftarps. Thees stupeed camera has no nighd beesion.

My alleged libe

I wonder whad she weell do eef I bide hor anghle...

I yam geddeen' a steef negh loogheen' ad thees chair.

Fresh air! Brighd lighd!


Why does hor head always mess orp my peectures?


Hey. Whad happen'. Sormtheen' change' while I was oud. There ees a short arn the chair! Thees place ees a peegsty!

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Whad a weegh

Eed was esshausteen'...Ebery nighd the Wooman came home an' was eghstra nice to me an' peeghed me orp an' said, I lorf you Estorbo. An' I said, Feed me, then we can cordle, OK? OK, she said.

The wherethere has been' goo' apar' frarm some rainy days, so ad nigh' I hab been bag arn the rooftarps honteen'-honteen' bod nard cadgeen' anytheen' yed. Bod I weell, I weell.

The Wooman has prarmeesed to plant por me some more drorgs, because she say I cannard ead the drargs we hab now because they hab preedy flowers. Porque? I say, thad ees the bes' par'! No, she say, we weell carmpromise (whad ees thad, ees beegword, I nebber wen' to school), and she weel onplant the stoopeed salad bar whad nobody eads an' plant some more goo' theengs thad cads an' people can ead. Lighe small cheeckens, I ask hopefully? She roll' hor eyes...Estorbo, she says, you hab a onetragh mine'. You can talgh, I say, Whad time ob day do you star' theenkeen' abou' deener? Eef you wor a cad you woul' maghe me loogh como un lighweighd! Are you sayeen' I yam fad, cad? she ask', dangerously.

I star' to wash behine' my ears... lalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaa.



Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Leeder

Oh Sheet. For a gleempse eento my future, pleease cleeck.

Sen' extra sarft paper, pleease.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

...and steel arn the sobyect ob bords:

Frarm an email to the Wooman (Fabreec leebs een Marsel Bay, weeth The Wibes):


"So I discover that the mousebirds are decimating my little cauliflower plants (neatly, mind you, row by row) and I look around for the resident pest control. Fabric, the little slug, has decided to have Sunday off in her salad bowl. Isn't the tail a scream?"

Thad cad ees tired. An' famoos. Here eed ees again. Cleeck.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Vegetarian



Ok. I yam goeen' to grass frarm now arn. The Wooman keeps some por me ou'side onder the chair where eed woand ged squashed. I lighe eed. I know whad ees grass an' whad ees groun'cobber. I yam nard stupeed. Sometime' she buy por me whea'grass frarm the farmers' marked, bod I prefhair my organeec grass ou'side.


I read thees blarg (ees call' beggierebolutiondartblargspartdartcarm): abou' housecads (thad's lighe me) eadeen' bords whad seeng, how you say? -sarngbords, si. There ees peecture arn thees blarg ob a cad storfeen' eed's face weeth a bord, como un French fry. My gard. Lorky cad. Anyway, I read the comments arn thees pose' about bords and badcads. An' I fine' People who HADE cads! So I leab a comment askeen' ees eed OK to ead Nuevo York peegeons? So far no answer. Maybe they ead cads.

Whad you theenk? I know ees bad to ead the smallbords. Bod I weell nard want to leeb forebber eenside, noway. I need to prowl. So whad ees solution? I weell theenk abou' eed while I nab. Read the pose here (cleeck arn eed, man!), and read also the Commends, an' maybe some more CADS should leab commends?

I yam esshausted



Thursday, May 8, 2008

Beige

I hade the colour ob thees wall. I reeally, reeally hade eed. Me AN' Constanza, who knows sormtheen' awful when she sees eed.


Now, the peenk wall ees preedy. Trarpeecal. Modern. Heep. I lighe eed. An' the orange wall ees cool.

I yam theenkeen'. The beige wall has gard to go. An' so does the poisonous kaka yellow bine-thing. Does she wan' to keell me? Whad eef I ead a flower? I weell die. You are my weetneeses. Speakeen' ob weetneeses: where are my brorders?? H-h-h-uwi? Trebor? My carmpadriods een Eeengland??? Sollie? Lennie? Where are you?

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Gues' pose' frarm Kedi

My frien' Kedi ees een Cabe Town. Here she ees sleepeen' weeth hor special frien' Teepsee, who ees nard dead. Ees a larng storee, I hab no time to essplain. I mos go an' taghe a peecture ob a wall before eed geds away.

deer Don Es,

I am thinking aboht u bcos i hev jest eeten a dish of FEEESH. My mom went to hahhbur hous for lunch and she hed red snapper and cudnt finish it so it came home loooking like a duc or a swan or an cormmorent and I hed most of it for my supper. my bruther hed sum to and the stupid spuk had a little becos she throus up if she eets FEEESH. It was jummmmy and i even et my hart pil thet was inside it. It was a misteak to giv sum to the stupid spuk becos i no it wil be wahsted.

How are u. Yor catcam thing duz not giv me gud picshures. Dont u go eny where. I think I am not too bed. My i is not red now end i sleep with my mom agen but wen I get hot I get out from under the blenket end sleep on top. My spelling is inconsistent (hows thet for a big werd?) becos u no y. The small intrusiv (unother 1 huh!) dogs take up to much time but my nenny, my frend, my speshal pesson, cuddles me evry day for a long time and we both luv it. We sleep in a cheh and then the dogs get gellus. It keeps my speshal pesson from wekking too much and my mom ses thet is good. She, mom, ses they ar all getting old. I say -getting!!!! - end thet stupid spuk is oldest. riting letters is difficult end I hev dun mi best.

Hoping 4 mor picurs of walls end plants

all mi luvyor small frend, the small bleck fuuted efrican ketKEHDi xxXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXPee ess - I dont no wat the pee ess is but mi mom always puts it therh

Sunday, May 4, 2008

My garden


My hierbas buenas...nard. No, reeally, they are my horbs. Catneep whad maghes me feel seghsy; tarragon por when I prepare for the Wooman chicken weeth cream sauce, chibes por my beechysoisse. Anise por my moshrooms a la grecque. I yam crazy abou' moshrooms. An' mango. Ebery nighd thees weegh the Wooman gabe me smallpiecemango an' eed was deleecious.

Today ees ber' essiteen' because I yam watching ands. They keep walkeen'-walkeen' an' nebber starp. I say to them, Waid, resd, hab a dreenk, but no, they walk, walk, makeen' me tired. I theenk I need a napzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz