Thursday, November 29, 2007
[Frarm Oncle Reg een Paarl:] Ginger, our street-wise traffic warden, Rube our somewhat "thick" cat and Rick, an inveterate bird watcher who takes his job to heart (stomach) by ensuring the survival of the fittest.
Muchachos, you geeb We Three Cads a Ron por their money... you shoul' star' your own winelan' blarg...
BTW Rube...eef you're nard the brighdes' you're the bes' lookeen'.
Pee Ess: por prorgress arn Mamacita checgh oud her lades' pose' an' YouTube bideo arn hor blarg...Hor ved's beells mos' be crazee.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
So. Today the Wooman corms home. Hello Meester Keetten, she say.
Hello Wooman, I say.
Loogh whad I gard por you! she say
Oh? I say.
Yes! she say. Today a geef' basket arribe ad work, wheech ees almose' beeger than thees apar'men', an' een eed ees all these treads, lighe chocolades...
...you' doan' ead chocolades, I say.
I know, she say, Bo' thees ees abou' you, nard me.
Como? I question.
Yes, she say...I brough' por you....
You see, she bagtragh. Een the basket was also theengs lighe crackhairs.
You lighe crackhairs, I say, especially weeth cheese.
Yes, she say, bod nard theeze.
Oh? I question.
Si, she say, Theeze ha' donproponouncable presorbateebs een them.
You no ead presorbateebs, I say.
Ees corregd, she say.
OK. I say. Can we ged bag to me?
Yes! She say. So:
So: I say
Yes, so...I brough' por you [thad's me, the cad Estorbo], a geeft.
Oh? I question.
Yes! she say.
My gard. I was nard esspecteen' thees.
She show me. Small packayge. Preedy (attracteeb) barx ob wile' - WILE' - salmon. [Dreamy boice:]...Once I had wile' salmon. Bagh een the day, arn Fladboosh. Eed carst more than the month's rend. Eed was deleecious.
Wile salon! I scream, yompeen' orp to loogh ad the barx...
Yes, she say, ees smallpiece, all por you.
She open packayge. I maghe a feeshdance.
She taghe smallpiece and tasde.
She swallow. She say.
No.....? Whad you mean, NO???
No, she say, hm-mm, I yam nard feedeen thees to my cad.
I yam nard your cad, I say, I am DON Estorbo della Bodega Domincanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
No. She say, and throw eed away.
Een. The. Been.
There ees no place por my eyes to go. They cannard steek oud any forder. I yam...como se llama... Appalled!
Sorry cad, she say. Really: I yam sorry
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
Yesserday eet was there: onder the blanghet an' the coat.
Pee Ess: eef you hab no idea whad the peeg ees, read the Wooman's blordee blarg.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
My Gard. I hab been short orp por three days, man. Eed sorks, beegtime. The trees hab changed colour, the drorgs smell deefferen'...I need to keep tragh ob thees theen's.
And, I need to make-a scratcha! I weel keel thees larg, I weel keel eet, I weel keel eet!
Ees dark orlee. Ees cole', too.
Bod. There ees a peeg. Een a blanket...
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
OK! Ad las'. I knew eed. Eed was yos a madder ob time. Thees ees Geenga. Hor seester Nona says Geenga ees a beesh. Loogh down there. There ees Nona.
Ohio...tell your Meester to led you oud ob house, man! Ad fors you weel wan' to ron, bod he mos' led you oud when eed ees time for deener, so you have moch honger. Then he call you weeth food. Or, FEESH! Then you carm bagh. Also to put bodder arn feet.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Friday, November 9, 2007
Who ees thees bord, I cry, an’ then I know the answer. Thees bord’s name ees Jesus (prounced como en Español, pleease: Hay-zoos, hokay? Hokay). I know thees bord ees Jesus because he ees walkeen’ eento the den ob Don Estorbo della Bodega Dominicana an’ he does nard geeb a sheet.
I look at heem. He look ad me. The Wooman open the door an’ say, Jesus, you waar arn the wrarng terrace. An’ Jesus look ad hor an’ say, Bod I yam hongree, an’ she ees holdeen’ me tighd an’ I yam stareen’ at heem weeth my mouth open an’ she geeb him granola an’ he ead an’ then he want to WALGH EEN THE HOUSE!!! He has reebons arn hees feed an’ also a halo. Then he walgh oud again.
Then she close the door an’ Jesus look ad me por five minutes an’ then walk slow away an’ look onemoretime ober hees shoulder an’ then fly slow away, y I tell you I yam sorree por all the bad wor’s I yab ebber said an’ I weel nebber ebber keeck my leeder oud ob the tray again por the Wooman to brosh orp. Madre de Jesus...
So now I know there ees a gard y my Meesers says he leebs down the blark arn the roop. So. There ead ees. I yam a cattoleec again.
My salutations an’ blesseen’s. May the peas ob the worl’ be weeth you,
Thursday, November 8, 2007
So here ees me arn my terrace. Sheet.
Hmm, smells good....
Drorgs een spreeng are the bes'.
Happy borthday to me...
Ok, when's the party starteen'?