Saturday, September 29, 2007

I yam essausted

My Gard.

I need a bacation.

Por neearly one weegh I yab been ON, man. Entertaineen'. Bein' cute. Pooteen' my bes' paw forwar'. All my paws are the besd so I fell ober a lard.

I played weeth orange reebons. Spoghe Spaneesh to a Frenchman. Bounced arf the walls when they looghed bored.

I yam borned oud.

Yeah. I need a resd.

Houseguesd ees mucho trabajo...


Hey. Bod he's kinda cute, you know. Por a man, I mean. I led heem taghe peectures ob me. Maybe I hire heem por my pobleecity.

Madonna. I loogh good.



Somebody geeb heem a contragd.

They deed compensade me ebentuallee: the wooman made thees feesh soup - she was tryeen' to eempress. So transparen' , ees pathetic.



Eed was deleecious...

She say she weell pood recipe arn hor blarg.

Friday, September 21, 2007

The Las' Eenstallmen' ob The Treep to Meeami, 2001

8 May 2001


Yes, I was sayeen’ aboud beeltarng… please breen’ por me, yos a leedel bide when you beeseet: sneeferdargs useless een JFK airport. Meeami sneefers berbery good. I know I nebber weel wride abou’ whole treep home frarm Meeami so I yos say now, when we ged to Meeami airpor’, me een Onattracteev Grey Barx again, we abou’ to go through metal exray door theen’ when beeg fad lady storp os an’ say,

No’ so fas’! Cad no go through here!

You wan’ heem EXRAY’ ?? say my Meesers...

We look an’ Meesers leeft hor eyebrow so high she feel Eengleesh , bod thees lady say, No, bod Onattracteev Grey Barx an’ me mos go through separa’e. Huh. How we achieve thees? ask Meesers weeth eyebrow on tarp ob scalp.

Take heem oud, say Fad Lady.

Here? Say Eyebrow.

Here, say Fad Lady.

So. Righ’ there, een meedle of queue of yssasperaded people, I yam taken oud. Dangleen’ frarm my Meesers’ arms I hang een beeg blordee airpor’, espose’ to the elements. Grey Barx go through exray weethoud me. Then we go through door. Notheen’ peeng. I wan’ to ged een my barx. Bod Fad Lady no’ through weeth me yed. She take barx an’ knapsack ob meesers to new machine an’ wipe weeth leedle clarth. Then she put leedle clarth eenside new machine an’ look weeth especiál light arn clarth. Then she say I can ged back een. So I ged back een. I yam weethoud cocainedrogs an’ I pass test weeth Dominican flag flyeen’ high.

So that ees all. We land een blordee storm ob centuree ad JFK an meesers pray so hard she levitade. Then we een glorious New York een driveeen’ rain what ees sideways through holes een Barx. She shield me weeth leather jacket an’ we an order passengers ged in huge fighd weeth man ad taxi rank who no control taxi pick-orps. Then taxi driber peessed orf to take os to Brookleen so Meesers say, Would you like os to ged oud? An’ he say, You also be peesed eef you drive cab...

Larng treep home een cab. To help oud I no scream. Thees ees exhausteen’.

Okay. Sopper time por meesers. Tomorrow she promeesgo to Chinatown to get papayas por me. I no like esspensive Charentais melon. Muscat grapes a leedel, bot papaya ees bery good. Mango too.


Estorboloco

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

She's BAG!!!!!


I yam a happy cad....the sootcase was onpagged.

Where are my geefts?

I do nard wan' thees geeft!


Why would I need a sheep? Why??

Gracias a Dios por my brorders, H-h-huwi an' Trebor. They yab brains. They geeb me bluebrosh. Eed brosh lighe no order brosh! Eed take away forr whad I deedn' know I had. I yam so lighd I weel fload away weeth the breeze arn the terrace. I Lorf Eed!!!!

Muchas Gracias!!!!