Thursday, May 31, 2007

Kiss my Ass!


My Meesers tried to tell me today to stay eenside so thad she can keep-a the air conditioneen' arn por me. I said NO! I yam a roopcad. I need to exercise ou'side. I yam nard a wuss. Leave the door OPEN!


Friday, May 25, 2007

My wile'life befoe I keell ead...


Forgheen' Flowers


Sheet. Thees weegh has been stressful. The terrace soddenly is full ob flowers. Two nighds ago all hell break-a loose. The bozzer keeps goeen' Bozz! Bozz! Bozz! an all these people keep walkeen' eento my house and sayeen', Oh loogh, whad a cude keedy. Whad ees HOR name? How ole' is SHE?
Hombre! Ees eed nard obbeeious thad I yam a man? So I go to the roop an' hide. Eed ees stupeed pardy por the forgheen' flowers, can you belieb eed? Do I ebber ged a pardy? No. Por my borthday? No! por appreciation ob my companionsheep? No.
Sheet.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Chicago Cad


Thees ees my new ribal, Max. My Meesers desorted me por four days when she wen' to the Weendy Seedy an' there she med Max ad hor frien' Lisa's house. HE SLEPD ARN HOR BED! Thees woman has no scrooples, man. Yos loogh ad heem. Beeg forgheen' deal. Whadebber...

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

My boice ees bagh!!!



One week weeth no boice. Eed ees bagh. Hear me roar: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

My Meeseers had a bad dream las' nighd. She dream' hor house (my house too) ees falleen' down. So I tell hor, Loogh, as larng as I doan' led go, nartheen weell fall down, OK?

OK, she say.